Midsomer Murders plots

An overworked psychologist is found virtually deceased in a pair of oculus rift goggles. Suspicion falls on Kingswood Country’s Pigeon Fancier Club, confused that midnight rituals might threaten to destroy the boarding school’s secret society.

A mesmerising misanthrope is found dead on Somerton beach. Suspicion falls on Hyannisports’ church community, upset that the ghost walk might threaten the cow farm.

A lockdown protestor is found drowned in a TV monitor filled with red wine. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Priors’ Polish folk music society, deeply concerned that crows stealing and moving balls on the 15th hole might threaten badgers.

The algorithm is trying to tell us something...

A local barber (who’s a cut above the rest) is found on a spike in the middle of Causton. Suspicion falls on Burnt Knoll’s gourami appreciation society, upset that a Brexit recount might threaten to reveal that up to 20% of art in British museums is fake.

It's why they're always shushing... crushing migraine from a massive hangover.

A cynophobic postman is found killed by a bomb planted in the greenhouse. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Vinae’s treasurer of the submarine club, confused that petty threats might threaten the upcoming librarian wine drinking festival.

A sad Joy Division fan is found waterboarded to death. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Abbas’ tapestry weaver, frightened that a growing number of people who can read and think clearly might threaten reruns of Are You Being Served.

A local bagpiper is found painted over by a cricket pitch line painting machine. Suspicion falls on Minge Lane’s society of Venus watchers, deeply concerned that the discovery of a valuable musical manuscript sold cheaply at an auction might threaten the coldest winter Midsomer’s ever seen.

Evil generally defies logic.

A local mayor is found with the eyeballs pecked out by a glossy ibis. Suspicion falls on Ford Florey’s Japanese translation class, angry that a ban on cheese toasties might threaten the local manor.

A young entrepreneur with unfathomable insight is found as the life of the party despite being dead several days. Suspicion falls on Bishopwood’s pencil sharpening society, confused that the imminent increase in postage rates might threaten the local co-op.

A local astronomer is found unexpectedly, in a coffin-shaped bath. Suspicion falls on Badger’s Drift’s Communist Party chapter, deeply concerned that fake news might threaten supplies of Cornish pasties.

A Caroline Graham fan is found as human bones for sale on Amazon.com. Suspicion falls on Monks Barton’s florist, frightened that new beekeeping methods might threaten the appointment of a US-style 'Special Counsel' to investigate Barnaby's shortcomings.

A local DJ is found dead from the effects of eating too many Easter eggs. Suspicion falls on Little Worthy’s company of morris dancers, frightened that a bungled vaccine rollout might threaten to make history repeat itself.

A local agricultural tourism entrepreneur is found crushed in a giant-sized garlic press. Suspicion falls on Swarf End’s visiting East London gangster, upset that the theft of a Burmese bell might threaten a sticky end to Causton’s jam festival.

A short-statured 山水盆景 fan is found with the blood drained and placed in milk bottles. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Wyvern’s gourami appreciation society, upset that lederhosen might threaten the local Rusty Nail-and-Hook festival.

An unhygienic soap maker is found cremated and the ashes mixed into a Christmas pudding. Suspicion falls on Fag End’s cosplay society, frightened that errors in the Yomping Association Almanac might threaten to irrevocably alter the outcome of Brexit.

A person who skeets about this bot is found 21 grams lighter. Suspicion falls on Causton’s dowager, disturbed that problems with the village’s wifi connectivity might threaten local power structures.

A renowned lepidopterist is found with blood gushing from a large hole in the chest. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Magna’s impetuous young heir, upset that the new deer sanctuary might threaten to dredge up events from twenty-five years ago.

John: Within 30 seconds.

Tom: Would not know, or care, what a podcast(er) is.

A horse podcaster is found drowned inside a lobster trap. Suspicion falls on Rough Riding’s hyrlîan team, angry that unconventional musical notation might threaten societal collapse.

A meteorologist, who’d been feeling a bit under the weather of late, is found buried alive. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Abbas’ Blue Peter fan club, frightened that the rising cost of petrol might threaten plans for a 24 hr murder mystery channel.

A street musician is found drowned in a well. Suspicion falls on Bight of Spam’s chess club, disturbed that badger culling might threaten a drop in bowls club membership.

A hyperactive barista is found crushed by a trained rhinoceros. Suspicion falls on Rough Riding’s Blue Peter fan club, upset that antimatter leaking into the nearby reservoir might threaten the future of Morris Dancing.

A lover of the sea is found dead in a puddle of black ooze. Suspicion falls on Barton in the Beans’ strawberry-pickers association, confused that aliens might threaten the rabbit show.

A mute castrato is found with the lower part of the body ruptured. Suspicion falls on Gumpton Marsh’s D&D-playing gynaecologist, worried that cheap imitation Daily Mail vouchers might threaten the local Rusty Nail-and-Hook festival.

Fiona Dolman playing Sarah Barnaby in Midsomer Murders. With a parrot.

For those of you who enjoy #MidsomerMurders and need something to cheer you up. We start the new series (26) on Monday..

A famous werewolf actor is found drowned in a mug of English breakfast tea. Suspicion falls on Midsomer Holm’s Barnaby Appreciation Society, worried that a bitter feud between local academics might threaten the village’s remaining sourdough starter.

A Michelin chef who hates truffles is found stewed in a vat of his own juices. Suspicion falls on Luxton Deeping’s audiologist, One-Eared Brian, angry that police Freemasonry might threaten agricultural exhibitions in the country.