f*male b*tch 🇵🇸

sometimes things need to be said out loud. these two women are not ok. they are visibly not ok. nobody whose ribcage is visibleis doing great. they're in the public eye and kids look up to them whether you like it or not. they have disordered eating. my opinion. you don't have to agree

listen - shut the fuck up. ariana used to have a pro-ana tumbler. you shouldn't be able to see people's sternum. these two are beloved by a whole generation of girls who will grow up thinking you're fat if your collarbones don't protrude. it's not ok, they're not ok, and your fake concern is not ok

WHEY can get fucked too. and why is there dairy in salt & vinegar flavoured chips!?

sometimes you don't scratch your car trying to get into a tiny spot in a greedy Wilson's carpark and sometimes you do

margarine is all "olivani" now with a bit of "sunrise" but it used to be "PRAISE" bringing an eternally funny joke to the table where mum would say "pass the praise please" and we'd be like ohhh you're so beautiful" fuck lame things are way funnier when you're 6

I hope all you nzers know that my mum was instrumental in food labelling changes in the 80s. me and my sister were allergic to dairy - the rule then was that if it was under 5% you didn't have to put it on the ingredients list. after 2 anaphylactic shocks and a bunch of phone calls shit got changed

I just bought my new wfh setup and now I'm looking at jobs and holy fuck. I never noticed all the cables before because they didn't belong to me. now I'm like hnnngg why the cable. why the cable party on my desk

oh god. it's nearly thanksgiving. let's try to have some patience for the americans at this unholy time. the sheer dry turkey and mushroom bean dishes of it all

never chat honestly with HR. they are hired by the business to protect the business. they're not on your side. avoid. they do fuck-all to fix anything anyway

ariana grande and cynthia erivo have developed eating disorders there I said it so we can all stop thinking about it

one of the greatest disappointments in life is relishing your lovely friendships in your late teens and early 20s only to have them try to kiss you one day and get mad at you when you're like BRO what are you doing

also sprained my ankle stepping on this random piece of rusty iron sticking out of the grass by the path down to the creek in a park that used to be flood-zoned houses that were demolished when I was a kid. just a grassy rectangle full of backyard fruit trees now

they still kept trying, loudly jostling each other & my dog who was being very tolerant. I said one last time "don't touch her, you don't know her" nothing seemed to penetrate their scrawny brains until I yelled FUCK OFF, DON'T TOUCH STRANGE DOGS

I cannot gentle-parent kids who won't fucking listen

I encountered a pack of about 9 uniformed students from the local primary school today while walking the dognand four little boys rushed over and started patting her & squealing. I said "no patting" they continued and followed us still trying to pat. I said "please don't pat dogs you don't know" -

sir that is an opossum

what tf are you supposed to do with an unfixable broken robot vacuum that has been replaced

was everybody's intermediate school crawling with scabies in the early 90s or just Bruce McLaren

omg now I've left my job everyone is telling me fresh juicy gossip that they were too professional to share before. she WHAT?! with WHO?! he said WHAT?! and did anything HAPPEN about it? Tracey how did you keep this to yourself for so long? you must have suffered so much

FINALLY.

50% of movies still don't pass the very simple bechdel test. two women talk to each other about something that isn't a man. we have to stop men from writing screenplays this instant

my friend Patrick is getting a dog and calling him Patrick

my colleague was like how come you're so calm finishing up without a job to go to?? I was like oh something will come up. changed my status on LinkedIn to "actively seeking" nek minnit I had four recruiters and a request for an interview in my inbox lol. imma be fine Marie, thanks for your concern

just finished my last day of work for the year and am in house trousers making a delicious dinner and watching crap on telly, fuck yeah. what are you cunts up to

today I would like to condemn to hell the dimwits who feed wild & stray cat colonies and/trap neuter release. RELEASE?! fucking morons

maybe!!! it was very very loud

I am sorry to say I am now one of those people who has posted "what was that noise just now?" on the neighbourhood page. Huge bang about 6am and me and the dog just about gave birth and we're not even pregnant

in case anyone was wondering why us millennials and gen x had our self esteem in tatters and flushed down the shitter by the time we were 20

* 60% off

right!! if we wanted to sleep on a 1980s parka we would. I got a nice silent bamboo one in the end. 60% til Friday i think

like, it would have been ok except it was so audibly waterproof. like crinkly raincoat material. the one I replaced it with is SILENTLY waterproof (there were none left that weren't waterproof at all) (not that I WANT to wet the bed but you know)