Tomm Moppolliss

Somberly waving my little hands around in extreme fear over on 5th street if you see me, please feed me

*Lookin at Orion* Hey buddy we know you got a belt, when oh when are you gonna buy some pants???

Woke up to a bed full of suds this morning, yeah i’m #clean but my bed is freakin SOAKED

No way just surreal shitposting

Plant enough #kisses in the dirt and maybe one day flowers will grow.

#poetry

Are they still making a #spiderman movie? No way they’d lose so much money

The prettiest towns in America in no particular order:

1. Diaper Town
2. Crazytown
3. Funkytown
4. #Oakland
5. Lazytown

“Ahem” Please send me a picture of #cathy ‘s #giblets

I’m itchin for a #critchin

Taylor swift’s been around for long enough i hope she get’s #listeria before my bridal shower so i can play some real #music

I really think im turning japanese i think im turning japanese i really think so.

#anxiety

If my genitals start breaking out in pimples please meet me at the library

#genitals #fear

Hey good to see everyone thanks for having me up here today!

Changing Mealworms into Mealtickets, one day at a time.

Well, we HAD a blue child, somewhere off in that direction but he may or may not still be there

*Me confronting a guilty looking kid with his closed mouth full of something that shouldnt be in there*

Open up! >:(

I’m so tired of seeing titties on instagram

“Yeah I got a job…. Jab Job!” (Tremendous Laughter)

The sweet smell of saffron wafted up past the bleachers towards the gymnasium ceiling

Hey you wanna freak me out? You wanna move my needle? Make Jaws 4 but in a landlocked state.

cervix has dilated 5 centimeters and the doctor is drawing football plays on my labia with a sharpie keeps drawing pictures of a baby so he doesnt forget what it looks like

My Nintendo DS is leaking down water onto my face while im playing it

That face when She put her hemp cigarette out on the tip of my chastity belt: ….Wicked. :0

Time to make these freaks spit gravy

I’m gonna make the house shake side to side

Two legendary Rock and Roll Superstars crashed my 8th grade graduation. No reason to wait for the end of this post i’ll let you guys try and guess who they were!

My mom’s penis needs a shower of sparks when they reveal it as the villain in the next disney movie.

Anybody who thinks Jaws 2 needs a sequel can get injected, just step right here step right up

I whip my Jaw back and forth i whip my Jaw back and forth

I whip my chain back and forth, I whip my chain back and forth