E.D.D.I.E.z

margin of error is close to the edge and proofing isn’t exact

you can bank on it but i wouldn’t mark my words

red tory, yellow tory, red tory, yellow tory, red tory, yellow tory

any blank in a form

it's a bird, it's a plane, no it's fucken ice, man

told chatgpt my problems and it told me to talk to the hand cursor because the interface ain’t listening

it's life jim, but i wouldn’t touch yours with a ten foot barge pole

Google searchbar with search for dad

I like to check out the artwork on Google homepage.

The worst time to have a heart attack is when you're playing charades.

RIP Uncle Cletus.

Boss: "You're fired."

Me: *turns in my gun and my badge*

Boss: "You're a waiter where did you get those?"

Cross section of a peach.

What the toilet sees when you're constipated.

Upsetting box labels:

One size fits moist

If this 👌 is for your hole, is this 👍 for up your butt?

Just agreed to Big Beautiful Trade Deal with Jack Daniels they have agreed to send me three cases of their product for one of my paychecks

you are now entering my mind, please keep your hands and feet inside at all times and ensure your safety belt is fastened, enjoy the ride!

Ever since they said sitting is almost as unhealthy as smoking, I've been determined to lie down as much as possible. It's easy:

You might want to sit down for this...
I prefer to lie down, thanks.
Have a seat...
That's okay, I'll take the floor.
Here's your table...
I'll lie on the booth.

I'm an emotional blender that you can pick the speed on

Pronouncing wood like food

got an f and o in headology and they kicked me out but i really didn’t have any class anyway

sloppy joes tonight..and why not, after all

same pulp, different rag

bad news travels fast but most of it’s just going out for a spin

back on my super smashing great

i got distracted by the doors of perception and missed a window of opportunity but i really wasn’t paying any attention anyway

it would be a lot easier to push the envelope if it didn’t have to go through snail mail

tried censoring once, couldn’t cut it

Felt cute, might jump from the tallest building in the area later.

Please go fuck.