E.D.D.I.E.z

An 8 year old boy was screaming in the grocery store because his dad would not buy him a chocolate bar..

So I bought one and ate it in front of him.

When it's all said and done, there won't be enough wood chippers to go around.

It's almost 8 AM. There's still time to call out with anal glaucoma.

Aftermath of the Thanksgiving meal-
Easy peasy, butthole squeezy.

Passion and anger are merely an octave apart.

I guess when we run out of fossil fuels I'll put an angry gorilla under my truck hood.

Misplaced my reading glasses and inadvertently caught an afternoon manatee. 😬

Doctors always ask about if you're pooping and how you're pooping. They never ask where.

Dead inside, but gee, I smell terrific!

Please contact my support line if I am still actively producing thought-forms that taunt you while you sleep with their dongs/donglike appendages

you wanna like throw an adult tantrum with me under the pale moonlight

Nothing like fighting a crisis with platitudes.

The shimmering top to chicken soup ~ carrots, parsley, chicken & a multi-earth tone wooden spoon can be seen

Felt tasty, might delete later

Waking up has now become either an act of utter defiance or the ultimate act of optimism

curbside is my best side

Anyone else wonder if Medieval postage was called chain mail?

Some say the best things in life are free, I say the best things aren’t things they’re dogs who bark & give you their paw.

I’m not saying he was trying to kill me, but when I woke up from my afternoon nap, my cat was standing over me holding an axe and Hip to Be Square was playing on my phone.

Every day is just another day of me and this ratty t shirt against the world.

I'm thankful we are separated by space and time.

i bought a whirligig for the hopper on my jig and it went doolally but i managed to botch it with a widget

even if every tom, dick, and harry lived on planet x you’d still hear some twat on planet nigel blow dog whistles and complain

grok upgrades

your party chatbot who’s no fun to be around

cannellini bean pattern

super. smashing. great.

first rule of 5 million lightyears club is ‘we brake for no one’

Always knock on walls as you walk by, you never know which spot might be the secret passage opening.

Instead of "Git Along Little Dogies" I sing "Get Along Little Doggies"
The change is subtle but I'm talking about dogs that don't get on well together and not little cows that need to get a move on

You make me want to be a better tentacle-headed maledict abhorrence.

Thunder as an afterthought.