trey yates

A sonic racing game is better than Mario Kart, everyone’s popping Tylenol, and the new season of Smiling Friends just started… autism has never been so hot

what's poppin', slime

This is the shit that pops up when you hit straight cherries on the slot machine

BREAKING NEWS: Democrats expected to gain numbers with new strategy of adding more Vine Boom.mp3 to YouTube Shorts

There is no harder proof about the inevitable death of capitalism than your own group chats. That shit stays popping on weekdays as your loved ones are doing everything they can to avoid work. On Saturdays and Sundays, you will get no responses. Everyone is out living, dancing, & loving for 48 hours

when the american empire falls and people are forced to do the actual labor that they passed on to immigrants for decades we're gonna have sooooooo many hoarse former-middle class suburbanites. it'll be awesome. apply sunscreen, babe.

My friends and I have started sending each other texts like spectacle Democrats

Trump so busy trying to pass that bill that he can’t take advantage of the P. Diddy verdict headlines to announce some new, horrible bullshit

I’m trying to think of the antithesis to the Care Bears. Best I’ve got right now is Apathy Wallabies or Contentious Fishes

He’s gotta charge out the ass for it too so he can cover those costly veneers

“Operation Midnight Hammer” is a name that is so, so stupid. Hopefully no empirical governments catch wind of this

how long we got til we get 9/11 2. or 9/11 II, if you wanna stylize it.

Actual news: Trump administration cutting federal funding for California, tipping the scales in the Republicans’ favor for total control. Sending US military into Los Angeles to end protests

CNN: check out our dumbass Broadway show tonight! 🤩🥰

Why is the cast of The Boys going to an event called Nostalgia Con. Y’all got a new season coming out next year

I feel like a lot of gamers wished for “an end to all cozy games” and the monkey’s paw curled. We just watched 20 gooner anime trailers. There’s now a multiplayer game where you run around pissing and shitting with your friends. We turned the dial back to mid-2000s dudebro gaming

This could give Hemingway a run for his money

Niles is on a diet. I gave him a big talk on how spoiled rotten he is because all he does is cry and beg all day. He is going to assassinate me in my sleep.

Scott the Woz looks like he’s having a blast. Just living life and still hanging out with and/or employing all of his high school buddies that he made when they were all forced to go to Sunday school. Good for him.

very funny how the danny phantom tweet grifter posted this half a year ago then dipped

we're fuckin in the rayquaza truck tonight, babe

Pizza delivery guy getting mad because he couldn't find my house and tried to call me and went straight to voicemail. Brother I get 100 calls from robots every day now. That shit stays on silent. Figure it out

The NBC jingle and the Ford open door alarm should collab

oh, you verbs? you pussy? woke?

Tech companies will say "we must show growth every fiscal quarter" and the growth is updating the UI to be the biggest inconvenience to the users for the next month

MrBeast probably heard “post-colonialism” and thought it meant “posting colonialism”

I think Trump should fly that fancy new jet into Newark for a relaxing vacation ❤️

Modelo Pikachu weather is here

Just deleted Duolingo after a 650-day streak

I very much enjoyed the movie Sinners starring Michael B. Jordan and Michael A. Jordan

We got the fall of the Bastille and the implementation of the National Assembly as the de facto French government before GTA 6