CEO Johnny Cans

CEO Johnny Cans

@oldmatecans.bsky.social

he/him The blackberry phone was the posters katana, a true masterpiece of form. All opinions are personal, not professional. postingcast.podbean.com for audio

3,119 Followers 716 Following 16,637 Posts Joined May 2023
41 minutes ago

I do enjoy how the Houthi are on a North Vietnamese run of shaming the undies of several larger nations by just making the most of their positional advantage.

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1 hour ago

Oh.

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2 hours ago

I'm sorry ma'am, but your son perished on Kharg Island in a valiant effort to create Wii Bowling meme videos for the White House X account. In the face of danger, he was not cringe; he was based to his last breath. Please have this commemorative Epic Fury challenge coin. Yes that's Punisher, ma'am

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1 hour ago
Iran warns against attacks on its oil and energy infrastructure

Iran’s Armed Forces Unified Combatant has warned that any attack on Iran’s oil and energy infrastructure will lead to attacks on energy infrastructure owned by oil companies cooperating with the US in the region, Iranian media has reported.

This has been a consistent message from Iran since the Israelis bombed their energy infrastructure last Saturday.

I hope we don't get shocked Pikachu faces when they deliver on this.

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1 hour ago

Just very loudly and clearly told some tourists to leave a sunbathing kekeno alone by acting out getting the fuck bitten out of you by a large angry seal.

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3 hours ago

*wait for markets to close*

hey buddy watch this

*fuck with the oil market*

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3 hours ago

Overall, no. It's trump deciding the red glowing stove is worth sticking his dick in.

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3 hours ago

IS

THAT

GOOOOOOOOD!?

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3 hours ago

The Iranian state has been quite clear that attacking their energy infrastructure means everyone's energy infrastructure in the Gulf can get the smoke.

That's why this week has been like that.

Posting that you'll stop 80% of their oil exports only guarantees that Iran starts planning a response.

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3 hours ago

Hey if the US makes it so that Iran no longer needs the Strait of Hormuz to transport oil, by destroying their oil infrastructure, what is the rational next step for Iran to take regarding the waterway the US and rest of the world still need to transport oil through.

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6 hours ago
Freedom of navigation in the Strait of Hormuz should not look just Western, but global. If some ships sail safely while others face attack, Beijing and others will reroute commerce through protected channels and normalize that it’s acceptable to defy the U.S. Countries heavily dependent on Gulf energy—from India to South Korea, Thailand, Argentina, Kenya and many others—have a stake in keeping Hormuz open.

The consequences of my actions!

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7 hours ago

If they thought they were getting Hormuz open soon they wouldn't be unsanctioning Russian and Venezuelan oil. That 400 million barrels released by the IEA, a third of their stock, didn't touch the sides of the market anxiety.

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1 day ago
Millennium Challenge 2002 - Wikipedia

2/2 Anyone else immediately remember Millennium Challenge in 2002?
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Millenn...

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7 hours ago

General Paul van Riper sat at home in his retirement laughing and laughing and laughing.

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7 hours ago

"Searching for any reason to suspect that Powell might have lied to Congress, the only one the Court can descry is that he testified at a hearing. The Government might as well investigate him for mail fraud because someone once saw him send a letter."

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9 hours ago

That's not the sinking I think we should be worried about, to be perfectly honest with you.

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18 hours ago

Where's that stupid ass lady with her "the left should support uK Labour instead of criticising them for doing nothing to stop reform because Bernie Bros or something" take she shit all over the timeline earlier.

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18 hours ago
VANITY FAIR

Last weekend, Iran, one of the world's oldest, most storied civilizations, was attacked by two countries: the US, which adorably is about celebrate its 250th anniversary; and Israel, which is younger than Liza Minnelli.

Oof

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18 hours ago

Aotearoa New Zealand mentioned.

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18 hours ago

The Free Speech Union becoming the leading anti-fuel restriction lobby group because infringing peoples right to drive alone is preventing them being able to hear from ghost Hitler.

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19 hours ago
Post image

Team crying child

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19 hours ago

I've got a 9am recording locked in.

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19 hours ago

What do you mean humour? I've been working the lathe of heaven for hours.

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19 hours ago

Day 128 of Level 4uel Lockdown. Rioting breaks out in all cities and towns as a lack of flight availability means the All Blacks forfeit the Bledisloe Cup to Australia. Forty five arrested.

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19 hours ago

Michael Shanks can fuck off back through a Stargate

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19 hours ago

This whole thing might be the most significant challenge the government has faced in office. They skipped Gabrielle, have had barely a single Extenuating Event.

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19 hours ago

Yeah I think maybe Iran and many of its people hate the US and Israel bombing them more than they hate their own folks, and even under missile fire are coming out to say Free Palestine, fuck Zionism.

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19 hours ago

Day 78 of Level 4uel Lockdown - Anti-walx activists plan a convoy to Wellington from Invercargill but run out of fuel before they reach Gore. A planned Parliament Grounds protest is attended by Winston Peters and Bryce Edwards.

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19 hours ago

Being brought down by a rare mistep, how apt.

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19 hours ago

Day 23 of Level 4uel Lockdown - Queenstown reports a strange silence, birdsong audible during the day time, quiet nights. Investigation reveals the town's Australian population has dropped to zero.

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