zebeeby

My life has improved remarkably since I figured out that the stress of Doing Stuff is much easier to manage than the stress of Not Doing Stuff

Haribo cola gummies my beloved

him: will you at least act normal when my folks get here

me: *flipping a pancake and reading it like a tarot card* bad news

Viral sound bites are truly a pestilence upon ADHDers across the globe

Actually yes my circus yes my monkeys. But by god am I gonna complain about it the whole way there and back

Been watching this spider crawl around on my ceiling for twenty minutes like. Brother I do not mind being roommates with you but if you get directly overhead we’re gonna have a problem

Well if it’s not one thing it’s another. And most of the time it’s both.

I do think they are saying the quiet part out loud about scars/facial differences/visible disabilities being visual shorthand for an evil character as well. Truly mind-boggling

Bread bowls sure are a fantastic excuse to eat an entire loaf of sourdough in one sitting

Fuck it, I’m not drinking *pops another extra strength Tylenol*

Lol I just realized this reads like something you’d read on a signpost in an indie solarpunk adventure video game

Sustainability tip: single-use plastic can become multi-use plastic if you’re brave and pure of heart

When you’re maxxed out on Tylenol and everything still fucking hurts

Waking up to 60° weather and not 90° weather

Man you KNOW when a fantasy book was written by an author with a Gaelic name it’s about to go fuckin hard

No such thing. Persist.

I’m personally of the opinion that Things should have more salt in it

I WISH TO CLARIFY THAT I DO NOT CONDONE UNNECESSARY SMART DEVICES. Please do not connect my toaster to TikTok Gold Premium or whatever the fuck. I’m just so so lazy and so so hungry please I need help

Man I wish I could check the food I have from my bed. Like oh I’m hungry? Lemme just FaceTime my fridge real quick

nerds gummy clusters should get a michelin star

Fuck it, I’m not driving *adds another clove of garlic to my hummus*

why are there so many Smells :(

you don't need chatGPT i am perfectly capable of drinking a bottle of water and lying to you

Helppp I ate too many sour skittles and now I have Mouth Injuries

Blue hair no pronouns. Don’t refer to me

I’m not punk but I believe in their beliefs

Love not being able to take anything stronger than Tylenol for a migraine. Go girl give us nothing

“You’re moving like you have to pee” > file under: things you say to a toddler and also your mom when she’s getting home from work

got real sad and ate saltines in bed. What Have I Done

In the Chinese restaurant making out with the xiao long bao sloppy style