Willowsaurus 🦖

he’s a jortoise 🥹

lol I’ve never noticed Gagita in the background

put a can of starbucks nitro in the freezer to cool it off I’m sure this won’t end badly

I’m here u fuckass bitch

thanky

Thanks, Blue ☺️

Yay for you! Yeah I went with OKC & honestly it was so much easier than I thought it would be. There were questions in those surveys that answered red flags immediately, so I didn’t have to waste time sifting through folks I already knew weren’t right

Sayed is now free because he has an advocacy group behind him, a stellar lawyer, & a judge who wasn’t afraid to do the right thing.
www.cbs8.com/article/news...

thank youuuuuu☺️☺️

Almost spit out my coffee when I read the Waymo ad lol

a close up of a man 's face with the word woo written below him Alt: a close up of Nick Cage’s face with the word woo written below him

HELL YEAH

Imagine this: we have socialism and a planned economy. A new technology is invented that automates a ton including your job. No worries. You get paid to get retrained in a new field and you can keep living in your apartment cause you’re not charged to live there. All is fine.

well I absolutely crashed at 9pm & slept all the way through to 3 but then I was wide awake.

been awake since 3am & I’m rather concerned about how much coffee I’ve consumed

Print version of the onion top story is Homeland security relaxed species requirements to join ICE & there’s a gd giraffe in riot gear

The onion ad for Waymo message is Road head. Safer.

Stg I’m not sure what’s funnier the onion articles or ads lol

well, I did still use an app so it’s not 100% real life

It’s also not someone from twitter/bsky lmao this is literally the first relationship I’ve had that’s not from one of these platforms in…like 15 years

guys I have a new relationship with someone who lives in the same county & can give me physical affection on the daily this is a holiday-adjacent miracle

big same

mother fucking fresh

California license plate with text "MFNFRSH".

Customer: MY FRIEND AND DOG NAMED FRESH
DMV: COULD STAND FOR MOTHER FUCKING FRESH

Verdict: DENIED

AI workslop is a great term lol

me when someone asks how an airplane could just fall out of the sky

me whenever someone mentions birds specifically crows

Lolol

who up raw noggin

Wheeeee I love your case!

I live for this shit

she shifted the grift to gain a new base