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Closing out a quarterly business review by descending into the floor like Taylor Swift before putting on a new outfit for the Q1 lookahead

Imagine a world without "Happy" by Pharrell Williams. It's better, isn't it?

Toddler just hit a new milestone! While she’s been able to ask for Old MacDonald Had A Farm for some time, now she will actively say she doesn’t like Phish and that sucks

Rideshare/delivery brainrot has ruined hazard lights. Now they’re used completely at random…

* Gonna stop somewhere! Not telling you which side, where, or when!
* About to do something! Guess what it’ll be!
* Already stopped without warning! Putting on my hazards now! Maybe I’ll reverse!

I didn't know it was possible to feel so happy

Screenshot of a conversation from ChatGPT: Can a fish live in pee? Weirdly enough, that's actually a great question-and the answer is kind of, but not really in the way you'd hope. Fish can't live in pure pee (like straight-up human urine) because it's full of waste products like urea, ammonia, and salts, which can mess up the delicate balance of chemicals fish need to survive. Too much ammonia alone can be deadly-it burns their gills and messes with their ability to get oxygen. BUT-here's the twist-fish do live in water that has pee in it all the time. In fact, fish themselves pee in the water (through their gills and kidneys), and in a natural ecosystem or a well-maintained aquarium, bacteria break down the waste and keep the water livable. So to sum it up: • Straight pee? No, they'd die. • Water with diluted pee and a working ecosystem? Totally normal fish life. Want to get weird with it and talk about fish bladders or how much a goldfish pees?

Finally found a good use for an AI chatbot

The classic bar food is peanuts, popcorn, jerky, things like that. But what about some fresh strawberries? You’re suitably refreshed, and then the bartender slides across a bowl of ripe strawbs? Hell yeah hell yeah

I’m down for figgy pudding whenever, doesn’t have to be seasonal

Normally on the daycare run the two year-old won’t tolerate daddy’s (excellent) music and begs for the classics like Old McDonald and Wheels on the Bus, but today there were no complaints! The blindingly obvious solution, of course, was Ska.

(Keasbey Nights had the best reception)

Is maple syrup tree blood or tree pee

To be fair, she’s not quite 2 yet

Trying to explain the Maillard Reaction to my 2 y/o while she helps me cook dinner and I feel like I’m wasting my time tbqh

You put your left foot in
Your left foot out
You put your left foot in
You put your left foot in
You put your left foot in
You put your right foot in
You put your right foot in
You put your right foot in
You put your right foot in
You are a terrifying human-sized spider thing
and you're drunk

Toot toot

It’s really satisfying when a good breeze comes out of one of these!

Managed to listen to a Phish live album today, all the way through! (It was fine, good in parts)

Name a song better than that "Baby Baby Baby Ooooh" one by Justin Bieber. You can't because it's got everything: drums, lyrics, singing, a verse by Ludacris

It’s not a line, but Homer’s reaction to “the cider lecture” has made me cry laughing

I built a stupid model out of magnetic tiles and said it looked like a Cybertruck but it doesn’t but it kinda does

Saw one of those stupid Cybertrucks today

Anyone else feel real emotions at the Goodbye song from Bear in the Big Blue House? It’s perfect.

It's 2025, and I am (still) obsessed with Blues Traveler's 1996 live double album, "Live from the Fall". It's great! It's the songs you love, but much, much longer!

It was an impressive, and unexpected total shut down. I managed to get her later though. For her, not worth it. For me, worth it.

Tried to tell my wife a joke, and began with “knock knock” and she just replied with “nah”. Is that allowed? I don’t think that’s allowed.

Most folks plan to live into their seventies, eighties, nineties, but not me. I’m gonna keep on going, see where I can get. At minimum I wanna be a burden to someone

Album of the year is “Beg A Promise” by New Junk City for the third year running

joke’s on you it’s two people and they’re both confusing your car

It’s all terrible! All of it!

Also, hey it’s also you! Hi!

Walked into my eighteen-month-old’s bedroom this morning to wake her up, and she just lay there groggily repeating “no, no, no” and I feel closer than ever to her now. She gets it.

Yes that would do it

In playing basketball I think Jayson Tatum has found his niche