Sturm B.

Remember that year they made Rhys Hoskins play left field?

Good times.

Please pre-order my upcoming book about the Union in the mid-2020s: "THE SHIELD AND THE SPOON: THE BRADLEY CARNELL YEARS" #DOOP

Who knew left back was such a specialized position?

Apparently selling off half your squad in the off-season can have some detrimental effects.

Chris Penso got so much wrong tonight that I think it mostly canceled out and the game ended as it should have. At the very least, I can't really complain that the Union played well enough that they "got robbed" of anything. #DOOP

Does angrily swinging your fist in the air always get carded for dissent? Or did Makhanya say something too? #DOOP

Pascal Jansen, who is dressed like a parent in the pickup line who didn't know he's have to get out of the car, is shown a yellow card

May you all find someone who loves you like Bradley Carnell loves Indiana Vassilev #DOOP

Sure, the Union have mostly been garbage today. But we didn't also need a ref who's total garbage on top of that. #DOOP

Well, that was just a matter of time. Union getting blown off the pitch the last 15 minutes. #DOOP

Does any league hate its most devoted fans and contributors as much as MLS does?

David Raya, you saved our asses today.

So I had good reason to live those 25 minutes in sheer terror. Thought maybe I was being paranoid.

The story of the 2025-2026 could wind up being Arsenal's uncanny ability to beat Arsenal.

I should start my own newsletter strictly for penny ante bettors.

This Yerson Mosquera might be moving to the top of my Total Weasel list.

I just want to sneak in with the answer for France:

Great news! Is it realistic to expect him to be ready to start by the second leg of Club America?

Please let's sign an actual starting left back before Club America visits Chester.

Aw, c'mon, let Bedoya take the penalty! #DOOP

I thought Makhanya would get the night off. Looking forward to seeing most of the squad get some minutes. #DOOP

Too soon, man. Too soon.

Spurs are now planning a second parade to celebrate that trophy they got for beating Bodo/Glimt.

I'm usually a VAR defender and think most of the complaints about it are old men yelling at clouds, but that was a humiliatingly bad decision by VAR. Like, you need to suspend that VAR official and send him for a few months of training.

Easily the most spectacular play I saw in MLS this weekend.

OK, that Rothrock assist was quite literally a banger! #sounders #MLS

So far I've watched two dreary #MLS matches and one non-competitive but enjoyable drubbing of Inter Miami. Seattle-Colorado, please be a banger.

Can we play Spurs again?

"You suck more than tomorrow's forecast!"