Sure, Monty. Sure. That's not even a good Victor impression, we all know he says this now give his phone back
*I wanna rock voice*
I wanna game
you know they keep water in there
Lol this is the new advertisement above the building that my coffee shop is in. Not even putting in any effort anymore, just, "meh, thing"
in the cars universe the matrix was directed by the kachowski sisters
Made a shelf for hell bathroom that I was able to stain using a solution that I quite literally made out of trash
I am finally living up to my name
Sure sex is great and all, but have you ever seen a group of middle aged white people heading straight for your coffee shop, only to turn at the last minute and go to the restaurant next door instead?
no I didnt
If they just made plumbing that lasted forever and didn't leak, then we wouldn't need plumbers, and I also wouldn't have to pretend to be one for an evening
I bet it was Monty's fault
Thank God I'm getting a fat tax refund this year, I'll actually be able to afford these fuckin gas prices!!
Haha what else is goin on, uh
A dream is a wish your fart makes
Do you think he's gonna say something nice about women today
When I cast my vote for president of the United States, I am going to write in the phrase "baked in a buttery, flaky crust". That's who I want as the president of the United States. Not the guy who says it, but the phrase "baked in a buttery, flaky crust". I think that phrase should be president.
Except that it's also insanely stupid. Why does everything have to be so bad but also idiotic
Whatever the mental health equivalent is of those videos where a guy air fries a bunch of burritos, grinds them up into a powder to make "burrito seasoning", and then uses them to season meat in a new batch of burritos, and then grinds those up and makes tortillas out of them to make a new batch of
Taxesn't
Movies with friends
God I hate it here
Days since having a customer throw their mostly-empty drink at me for no reason whatsoever: 0
Can't believe you got on the bad side of the Old Woman Who Lived in a Hydrant
Bad
Get over here, I'll book yuo a flight (on plane, not of beers)
You eant that to GO? how about to go fuck yourself??
I shoued of looked her in the eye and said uh could you americaNOT
It's working uguys, I frgt who I eas taking about
I bet there wasn't an echo when you got there
I don't drink to forget in general, I drink to forget the woman who came in today asking about decaf espresso, ordered a decaf espresso, said "yes" when I asked "cool so just the decaf espresso by itself?", and then when I made it, said "oh I wanted an americano" and glared at me
Anyway, bottoms up
I don't care if Monday's black
Tuesday Wednesday, heart attack
Thursday makes Cathy say "ack!"
It's Friday, I'm in love
