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a man with long hair is sitting in front of a sign that says `` i got a three-point plan to fix everything . `` ALT: a man with long hair is sitting in front of a sign that says `` i got a three-point plan to fix everything . ``

America is speed running Idiocracy. LFG.

Clicked “Accept All Cookies” on the ChipsAhoy! website.

About to beat them at their own game.

Sad but true 😭

Construction of Trump's $200 million White House ballroom to begin in September After giving the Rose Garden a Mar-a-Lago style makeover and the Oval Office a golden tinge, President Donald Trump now has set his sights on renovating the White House's East Wing with a $200 million ballroom.

We don’t need a $200M ballroom for stilettos and pedos

www.reuters.com/world/us/con...

This one hit me in the feels today

I miss the old GOP… they weren’t nearly as insane. I remember when we thought George W Bush was a terrible president. But if the biggest controversy of your presidency is a multi-billion dollar military operation in search of WMDs that don’t exist, I guess it could be worse.

The two on the second row where the magazine is loading horizontally under the grip makes little engineering sense. Put them vertically behind the grip. Otherwise, looks great.

I am comedically close to getting monetized on YouTube. 20 hours of watch time away. Really banking on my next video getting at least 400 views.

He has nazi related tattoos

Dear Facebook users:
If your posts only consist of complaining about your neighbors, then your world is no bigger than the block you live on.

They blocked or unfollowed you because they emotionally can’t handle seeing your name anymore.

Everyone else, not nearly the same amount of emotional impact.

Also, probably chill.

Can’t wait until America can be obnoxious again.

But in the the funnily stereotypical ways that other countries expect from us.

Not the way it’s going now.

Lamp, light of my life. I want you to treat me like the I in Pixar.

Egg prices are higher.

Trump solving problems: “Eggplants. Brand new thing we’ve just discovered. We’re going to start bigger eggplant farms, the biggest anyone has ever seen. We’ll have so many eggs we don’t know what do do do with them ….”

Find your niche.
Throw pebbles at passing by children. Let out those spooky noises. Blow gusts of wind. Suddenly drop the temperature by 10°. Make dogs bark into the void.
Just never leave.

Soup is sadistic. Are there morsels of food under that juice? Go fish, mfer.

Low in come household?

Nope not here, buddy.

🇨🇦 Tiktok is going all out 🫡

Deontology. Heaven and Hell.

Teleology. It’s not wrong if it feels right.

Dating is easy. You just have to be more exciting than 250 pages of paper and ink.

Yes. I’m an NPC.

DON’T EVEN TRY TO PLAY ME

The comments, the distant jeers, the near murmurs as you walk by.

The reputation with local authorities.

The relationship with local businesses and reactions from the natives in the city.

These NPC actions are a reflection of what you’ve done to them.

Kisses on the forehead are cute eh?

Bro, did not enjoy it

Yo, what happens to the leprechaun when the rainbow disappears?

Life starts after IDGAF

You know things have gotten bad when RCHP has made it into my everyday rotation. It’s a recession indicator.

I would like to order one boring day, please.

Hollywood interrogating a mime.

H: Look at our 90s lineup… talking cars, talking pigs, talking dogs! A toaster even! Look who’s talking now?!

M: … *bashfully hiding behind hands *

H: … We … we…can… make ANYTHING TALK