Alexandria Times Pitchbot

Justin Wilson failed that couch

Justin Wilson failed that couch

This week's poll:

If forced to ride the DASH bus, what would you hide your face behind?

1️⃣ Rubber Nixon mask
2️⃣ 19 lb pail of apple pie filling
3️⃣ Summer issue of Civil War Times
4️⃣ Peterson for Mayor yard sign

For DASH Bus, a third way

Keep it fare-free - but only for rides to and from Ramparts Happy Hour

Undeterred

Steven Peterson already planting signs ahead of the 2027 Mayoral Primary election

Beat the heat this weekend in the official cooling center of the Alexandria Times: a windowless closet deep inside your detached single-family home

Donald Sutherland reacts to a horrible site - a lane not devoted to cars

Donald Sutherland, who famously had this reaction when discovering Alexandria's first bike lane, has died at 88

Shocking views prevail on city boards

Many appointees fail to express proper devotion to Duke Street, entertain possible flaws on America's most perfect roadway

Over 90% of Alexandria voters didn't cast a ballot for Alyia Gaskins, sending a strong message to City Hall to widen Duke Street by seven lanes

By Dino Drudi

BREAKING: There’s still 30 minutes left to write in Allison Silberberg for Mayor

Precincts favorable to Alyia Gaskins are seeing some of the highest turnout in the city.

Here's why that's bad news for Alyia Gaskins

On election eve, Amy Jackson is touting new endorsements from Barack Obama, Elvis Presley, and your dog

Breaking: intelligence now indicates Peterson has absconded to his laboratory in Crab Key, off the coast of Jamaica, where he plans to deploy an atomic-powered radio beam to interfere with Alexandria voting machines

Has Steven Peterson fled to his Rocky Mountain supervillain lair, his dastardly plan to elect Alyia Gaskins by taking votes from Amy Jackson nearly complete?

Many longtime residents think so, but Alexandria Journalism Project cannot confirm or deny

Enemies from Within

We have in our Park and Recreation Commission known urbanists who nevertheless are still helping to shape our benches and sports fields

By Bill Rossello

Seminary Road has become an eerie ghost town, deserted in the wake of the Wilson machine’s destructive policies

This week's poll: What was your reaction when Unite Here canvassers knocked on your door?

1️⃣ Put on colloidal silver necklace
2️⃣ Burned incense treated with silver nitrate
3️⃣ Hid under couch, texted necromancer
4️⃣ Voted for Allison Silberberg

Alyia Gaskins' answer of "no" to the question of casino support has many longtime residents wondering where she really stands

Between global warming, canvassing unions, and the planned Pickett Street road diet, Alexandria faces several existential crises - all of which call for the same answer.

Allison, there's still time to run as an Independent

Over backyard cocktails, many longtime residents are asking the same question: what do the unions want? And will their household staff be joining one?

Remember the Starship song, "We Built This City" with the line "Too many runaways eating up the night"?

Throughout the years, Alexandria residents have worked to prevent runaway plexes of all sizes from eating up our neighborhoods

The Unite Here Slate have their pens poised to sign the "Casino on Every Corner" initiative, per Wally.

Future Alexandria Gambling Tsar Justin Wilson will begin by targeting Seminary Hill and Beverley Hills Neighborhoods for 5-over-1s with sin parlors on the ground floor

"Every member of the slate, once elected, will be required to start a newsletter that contains - at minimum - seven curse words per issue," says Wally (not his real name). "What's more, they won't be mailed to every resident's home - a repeat of the shadowy communications approach we saw with ZFH".

🚨ALEXANDRIA JOURNALISM PROJECT reports🚨

The cousin of an Alexandria resident's personal masseuse speaks out on what Unite Here canvassers are revealing about the Gaskins Slate's dark vision. Their identity is being withheld to protect their safety

The world’s first tooth-regrowing drug has been approved for human trials The world’s first tooth-regrowing drug has been approved for human trials. If things go as planned, the medicine could be available to consumers by 2030.

Exciting new technology is raising the obvious question among Alexandrians: could a drug be formulated to regrow the city to the exact state it was when you moved here in 1983?

Mexico has elected its first female president, recalling Alexandria's historic election in 2015 of a woman brave enough to stand up to the Justin Wilson machine

Is this road in Alexandria? That question simply misses the point.

In an effort to increase social media “engagement” we now present a picture of a road with cars on it

If you’ve got some third-hand gossip about Council and developers

Our DMs are open as wide as the Potomac

AP headline: Harris utters a profanity in advice to young Asian Americans, Native Hawaiians and Pacific Islanders

A dangerous trend that began on the web-log of one Alexandria City Council candidate has predictably spread to the highest levels of government

My ideas would have widespread public support, if it wasn't for those meddling ADC door-knockers

By Bill Rossello