The Takoma Torch 🔥🐓

Nice Neighborhood Just One Public Works Fuck-Up From Turning Into Crime-Ridden Shithole A new study has found that safe, wealthy neighborhoods are at severe risk of becoming crime-ridden shitholes if local governments approve just one more minor public works enhancement. “This s…

Nice Neighborhood Just One Public Works Fuck-Up From Turning Into Crime-Ridden Shithole

Trump and Satan on South Park

Firefighters Deny Retaliation After Soaking Baseball Field, Claim They Were Just Throwing ‘Wet Dreams’ Party for Team SILVER SPRING, MD – Montgomery County Fire & Rescue officials are denying any wrongdoing after a firehose “accidentally” blasted thousands of gallons of water across the Takoma Thunderbol…

Firefighters Deny Retaliation After Soaking Baseball Field, Claim They Were Just Throwing ‘Wet Dreams’ Party for Team

Marc Elrich and Nimbee caught on the Coldplay kiss Cam

I want the whole world to know.

Washington Orangeskins

Breaking: Trump Demands Washington Rename Football Team

Nimbee-Torch parade photos

Nimbee-Torch parade photos

Yimbee

The developers

A great time at the Takoma Park 4th of July parade! Local hero and patriot @thenimbee.bsky.social rode through town warning everyone the developers were coming!

Naive Poor Person Actually Believes Country Cares About Them Photo Credit: Steve DiMatteo/Pixabay DAYTON, OH — In a heartwarming tale of delusion, local factory worker and part-time Lyft driver Carter Morris, 31, made headlines today after boldly declaring t…

Bless his heart.

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MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

Nothing says "broad spectrum of opinions" like only quoting people from Chevy Chase

Hate is calling it Silver Springs

BREAKING: Trump Demands Nobel Peace Prize Nomination for Bombing Iran

Proposed 30-Story High Rise in Silver Spring Totally Out of Scale With Surrounding 20+ Story High Rises SILVER SPRING, MD – A proposed 30-story high-rise in downtown Silver Spring has been condemned by long-time residents, armchair architects, and that self-appointed historic expert on Facebook…

“It’s architectural manspreading!”

Trump to consider lifting ban on asbestos

Make Asbestos Great Again

Marc Elrich Demands $90 Million Rent Control Parade TAKOMA PARK, MD — Montgomery County Executive Marc Elrich has proposed a $90 million Rent Control Parade to celebrate the one-year anniversary of his only major legislative achievement: the countyw…

“Montgomery County has finally declared its independence from landlords occupying our land with market rate housing!"

Too bad they'll never fund the infrastructure

@mkorman.bsky.social @dawnluedtke.bsky.social @vaughnstewart.bsky.social @mcdems.bsky.social @cmkatestewart.bsky.social @andrewfriedson.bsky.social @evanmglass.bsky.social @willjawando.bsky.social

MoCo Politicians Support North Bethesda Marriott Conference Center Boycott Just to Stop Eating Fucking Chicken for Lunch NORTH BETHESDA, MD — In a rare show of bipartisan solidarity, Montgomery County lawmakers and state delegates have thrown their full support behind a growing boycott of the North Bethesda Marriott …

“We are in a culinary hostage situation,” Delegate Marc Korman told reporters, pointing to a stack of lanyards and name tags from prior conferences as evidence. “I have not seen red meat since the Clinton administration.”

Trump Orders Military into Second Act of ‘Les Miserables’ at Kennedy Center WASHINGTON, DC — In a dramatic escalation of his ongoing campaign to crush dissent through excessive force, President Donald Trump ordered a battalion of U.S. Marines into the second act of Les Mis…

“The show was promoting sedition, plain and simple,” said Trump, speaking from his new gilded seat in the front mezzanine. “This guy with a heavy accent was leading a rebellion against lawful authority while waving a foreign flag. We had no choice but to take him out.”

BREAKING: Trumps Says He's Never Heard of Elon Musk

Team Musk or Team Trump?

You must pick one or be sent to El Salvadoran prison.

Big Beautiful Breakup

JD Vance as the Nightman

JD Vance watching Trump and Elon Feud

Build Absolutely Nothing Anywhere Near Anyone

Elrich: MoCo Not ‘Sanctuary Jurisdiction’ – Housing Shortage Naturally Deters Immigrants ROCKVILLE, MD – Montgomery County Executive Marc Elrich responded forcefully this week to the Trump administration’s sudden designation of the county as a “sanctuary jurisdiction,” rejecting …

You can’t seek sanctuary if you can’t find an affordable house to live in.”

GOP lawmaker proposes rebranding DC Metro as ‘WMAGA’ and ‘Trump Train’ U.S. Rep. Greg Steube has introduced legislation that would block federal funding to the Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority (WMATA) unless it changes its name to the Washington Metropolita...

Republicans Love Trump So Much They Want to Ride Him

www.fox5dc.com/news/gop-law...

Rock Creek on Full Lockdown After Huge Turd Spotted Floating in It Photo Credit: RFK Jr./X WASHINGTON, DC – Chaos broke out along the banks of Rock Creek this morning after panicked joggers and birdwatchers reported what they believed was a massive turd bobb…

"RFK Jr. shit-posted a photo of himself in the creek with his young granddaughter, reminding Americans that bad things usually happen whenever a Kennedy and a young woman go near water."

Exactly! When?! We need answers!

Blasphemy!