Dan Douglas

a Co-op delivery lorry with the slogan “We’re member driven” emblazoned on the trailer

what idiot called it thinking with your dick instead of

In all honesty, it’s not rhetoric any more. It’s not narrative. I’ve experienced more racism in the last 4 months than I can ever remember. The wheels are off in the UK and it’s being led by 3 political parties.

lol I had been wearing it for about 3 minutes when I left the pharmacist and went to a newsagent and it inflated just as I grabbed a drink from the fridge so I just stood there on standby mode holding the bottle and failing to look normal until it finished

You're finally awake! That was a pretty big bump of ket you did. What? X? The Department of Government Efficiency? What are you talking about? Get up, we're about to land on Little Saint James

KOKO THE GORILLA: Koko birkin bag. Practical Koko possession bag
RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag.
KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla
RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense.
KOKO: jealousy professor

a shot from the closing scenes of Carrie (1976) with a girl in white approaching a wooden cross grave which has “FOR SALE” written on it and is graffitied

wearing a blood pressure monitor armband for 24 hours which automatically inflates and squeezes every hour overnight, fascinated to find out how my dreaming brain interprets it

I write this with tears in my eyes، I can't take it anymore.

I'm completely exhausted. I suffer in silence.

All that matters to me is keeping my family safe, Please help me buy healthy food.

If you’re scrolling, PLEASE leave a dot . If can't donate.

gofund.me/7ab95312c

@mommunism.bsky.social 🩵✅

very funny imagining the samsung upper management email chains as this tweet nears 20 million views and thousands of people dunk on him like, “what kind of bozo wears a smart ring”

I hate this shit so much. You can tell the driver fucking sucks too because they've used the tyres to tell them where to stop vs learning how to drive the stupidly large vehicle they've bought.

a still from Peep Show shows character Mark Corrigan sat in a club smiling passively with the subtitle “POUNDING DANCE MUSIC”

checking back in on a muted tweet a few days later to discover there’s 60,000 seething racists calling you a nonce in your replies

First time this guy has ever made me laugh

A screenshot of a twitter post from user @ZONEofTECH: “Ahhh...this is... not good. My Samsung Galaxy Ring's battery started swelling. While it's on my finger. And while I'm about to board a flight. Now I cannot take it off and this thing hurts. Any quick suggestions @SamsungUK @SamsungMobileUS? – two photos of the faulty ring are attached

SMART RING: [rapidly constricting bone and cutting off blood supply] bleep bloop i’m detecting your heart rate is raised, can i suggest listening to a relaxing playlist? you can upgrade to AI playlists for just $19.99 extra a month,

lmao

a small sign above a front door letterbox reads “CHIEN LUNATIQUE”

not sure what language this is, i’ll try to find out as soon as i’ve posted this letter, reaching my fingers through as far as possible to ensure a precise delivery

a top-down view of a veggie breakfast with predominately red, orange and yellow-hued items

very pleasing palette on the breakfast i just had

About to be the family that owns TikTok.

imagine leaving the caff after eating the absolute greasiest full English you've ever been served and then you see this

YES THEY ARE!!!

Alright, I want to make sure my team are booked and busy this autumn and so I’m offering a special discount for Bsky users only

Send us an enquiry via the web form or via email with the code ‘BSKYBELOVEDS’ for a tasty 15% discount off all interview, focus group, and workshop transcription services

I was always a fan of Kaleb's writing and it's really, really sad to hear of his passing. This paragraph from his last post is something I've tried to keep in mind as often as I can, and I really think he was correct here

A Facebook post from the Manchester Evening News reporting on migrants dying crossing the channel has a “laugh” reaction by at least 1.8 thousand people

loads of people here happily reacting with their full details public, posing with their kids and shit. horrifying

had the urge to do this since the moment i saw this post!
#pixelart

Two tweets by Keir Starmer, one saying: Real patriotism means building a country where everyone feels safe, valued and respected. We choose hope over fear, and renewal over decline. The other saying: I’m focused on real, workable solutions to tackle illegal immigration. Not gimmicks. Returning people with no right to be here, seizing hundreds of boats and working with international partners to smash the gangs. That's how we are securing our borders.

Five hours apart

a restaurant scene from Always Sunny shows Charlie and Mac staring worriedly at each other from across the room

seeing another parent running extremely late on the school run and both hoping the kids don’t spot each other

oh nice, I was up in Newcastle recently and went to Pink Lane every morning! didn’t have a chance to sit down but I was getting takeaway batch brews and they were all great

honestly it even ~smells~ a little bit like weed

aaah that sounds lush, cheers!

oh nice, cheers!