Moss

Been burning a minimum of 500kcal each day. Been doing really well. Lost ~10lbs so far!

Eating less than 1500kcal is my goal and I've been killing it for a couple days. We are so back. I'm going to lower my intake as soon as I'm used to this amount. 🤪🤙

So major life update. I broke off things with my "wife" - devastating. Wonder why I'm back on my bullshit lol.

Absolutely back on my bullshit.
Got my grocery list ready for the next trip.

I want to be dead. Not eating again.

I'm alive.
I'm okay-ish.

And like.. she told me that she would still be with me if it weren't for my wife's behaviors. But she doesn't want to just date me and cause issues between my wife and I. She told our mutual friend the same fucking thing. I can tell she loves me. It hurts.

I'm still sad about the break up with my girlfriend.

She still comes by and hangs out and the tension between us is fairly high still. Like. Positively? I want to kiss her and she wants to kiss me too, I can tell because when I look at her too long, she blushes still. I love her to pieces.

I miss her desperately. I think I fell so hard for this girl and she's not mine anymore.

Walked out of her apartment knowing she was no longer my girlfriend was so incredibly heartbreaking. Knowing that the break up isn't my fault, but my wife's... I... I'm absolutely gutted.

I hate when my brain does this to me. I am so mentally ill. I hate everything.

Really relapsed in my SH addiction. I think about it more than restriction these days.

There's no room for me. I'm a bad, ugly, stupid person. I need to disappear.

Giving myself a year to end it. I need to be buried by this time next year.

I love being late to every event I plan on attending /s

I hate being stupid, fat, and ugly. Like give me a fucking break dude.

Carved the word ugly into my leg earlier today. I'm losing it.

Hate being anxious and ugly

Four beautiful women in my house and I'm too scared to leave the bedroom to socialize LMAO

Girlfriend said she's noticed my weight dropping already and we've only been seeing each other for a month. God I am on cloud nine.

I just .. I am so in love with my relationship right now

I am, however, still on my bullshit and eating less than 400 when left to my own devices. So when I see her, eating a little bit more will be ok.

Girlfriend knows like everything regarding the eating disorder. She caught on FAST. Damn it. She literally shoves food into my hands and rewards me when I eat it. Wild feeling cared about.

🥹 #edsky #caterpillarsky

Maintained during my normal eating week btw. Good shit.

Few days of being off my bullshit. Now I'm back on my bullshit. No food tomorrow.

I don't know how long I can wait I need to fucking hurt myself

I'm going to SH as soon as possible again I fucking hate myself.

I'm so fucking ugly I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself

I want to die