tom c

it took me nearly 33 years to figure out that it’s easier to scoop and spread peanut butter and/or jelly with a spoon than a butter knife and that’s why no one should listen to me about anything

i will use this account for something worthwhile eventually but for now i’m just gonna keep saying dumb shit since no one’s watching

nothing like spilling a very full glass all over your kitchen to remind you of all the feelings you’ve been suppressing

why do we call human children and baby goats both kids