The Hidden Almanac Feast Days

12 June: It is the Feast Day of Saint Lee, patron of lives lived long and well. He is represented as a tall man, sometimes with the head of an afghan hound, standing before a field of stars.

It is said Lou committed this error deliberately to prevent the Prince from accessing certain information. Details of what this was are sketchy, but the Librarians insisted that she be honoured and canonised. Even the Pope listens to Librarians if he knows what's good for him. 2/2

12th June is the Feast Day of Saint Lou the Archivist who was martyred by the Librarian Prince himself. She committed a grave cataloging error that drove the Prince into a rage and he ordered that she be “removed from circulation with extreme prejudice”. 1/2

11th June is the Feast Day of the Mud Lizard who must be appeased, but never witnessed.

11 June: Feast of St Galthus, patron of steam engines. He ran the Pope’s private rail line and was generally considered to be a very nice fellow. His body was discovered to be incorruptible after death, and he was canonized, although some said the Pope just really liked trains.

10th June: It is the Feast Day of Roses. There is a sweet scent in the air today, but beware the thorns of evening.

9th June is the Feast Day of Lead. It would be best to avoid eating paint chips on this day, or indeed, on any day.

Saint Sigrid is now the patron of those who seek peace against terrible odds. She is represented as either a haloed seal or a woman wearing a sealskin, with an orca fin in the background behind her. 3/3

Sigrid and the orca matriarch Sawtooth Ancient went together into the sea caverns under Echo Harbor. When they returned, Sigrid's pelt was white and Sawtooth Ancient was badly wounded. There was lasting peace between orcas and selkies, and neither spoke of what they had seen.
2/3

8 June: Feast of St Sigrid. She was the first known Selkie saint, and worked tirelessly to negotiate a truce with the Orca tribes. As orcas eat seals, these were difficult negotiations, but Sigrid said there was good in the heart of every being and that peace was possible. 1/3

8 June—Feast Day of Three Mosquitoes. The origins of this festival are lost to antiquity, but it is believed to be lucky to be bitten by a mosquito on this day. This seems to be a particularly itchy sort of blessing, but far be it from me to question the rituals of good fortune.

7th June is the Feast Day of the Lord of Magpies, which is not celebrated by those with wisdom.

6th June is the Feast of St Maud the Exorcist, who cast out demons. She disdained the standard texts, preferring “Come on out of there. That’s no place for you, don’tcha know? And let’s not have any temper tantrums with the nasty goop. These nice people don’t want you here.”

6th June is the Feast Day of the Revolving Sloth.

6th June is the Feast Day of Saint Chaski, patron of maps and mapmaking. He set out on foot to explore the entire world, a journey which lasted almost three days before he quit, complaining of blisters. Standards for sainthood were lower back then.

The Hidden Almanac for 2015-06-05 Today we remember the Great Storm in the Year of Bone Shadows. It is also the day St. Heronius had a vision. It is the Feast Day of St. Bloodsong, and in the garden, there is a bumper. Be Safe, and…

NB this isn't a real-life saint, but a story from the Hidden Almanac podcast - but it IS such a beautiful idea. hiddenalmanac.com/the-hidden-a...

5 June: It was on this day in the eleventh century that Saint Heronius received his vision of the Lord in the form of a flaming yo-yo. His conversion was immediate, but his feast day falls instead upon the anniversary of his martyrdom at the hands of aggrieved citizens.

5 June: Feast of Lord Baurhooven, who argued that veneration is wasted on the dead, and ordered calendars which included his own feast day. He thoughtfully provided pamphlets asking “Where will you be on St Baurhooven’s Day?” and “St Baurhooven, a hero for our troubled times.”

@bloodsong.bsky.social Happy Saint Bloodsong's Day!

(The pet octopus took a very special box and the body was rather ripe before it was ready.) She never had a pet of her own, but it was said the spirits of certain pets would stay with her until they were Absolutely Certain their humans would survive without them. 3/3

If the grieving family wished cremation, she would take the body back to her house and use the old kiln in her back yard. She lived on the edge of town for a reason. Saint Bloodsong also performed this sacred duty for travelers who lost dogs, cats, birds, pigs and pet fish. 2/3

5th June: Feast Day of St Bloodsong, patron of Beloved Pets. She made it her mission to help families who lost their cats to old age or disease - a black flag tacked to the door was a signal for her and she would arrive with a hand-carved box, to either bury or hold ashes. 1/3

4th June: Today is the Feast Day of the Black Unicorn. It’s very goth. Icons of the Black Unicorn are common on the folders of small schoolgirls and the worship of this quasi-deity is considered globally secure.

4 June⁠—Feast Day of The Undaunted Saint. Their identity is unknown. When someone stands up against extraordinary physical odds, whether an angry bull or a battleship, they are said to be in the service of the Undaunted. Sadly this does not convey any particular protection.

Today is the Feast Day of Javelins. It has been recalled from the ecclesiastical calendar for safety reasons.

As no city will admit to a licensed Thieves Guild, and no such guild speaks to the press, information is scarce and comes mainly from embedded sociologists. Even this is spotty, as they have a depressing tendency to give up sociology for a more lucrative life of crime. 2/2

2 June: Feast of the Idle Hand. In some cities, this was a day of rest, when pickpockets and burglars did not work. Or possibly the day was invented by the thieves to persuade the gullible to cease watching their pockets and to transfer large sums of money with minimal guards.1/2

2 June is the Feast of St Hill, patron of patent medicine and snake-oil salesmen. Represented with a snake’s head, holding up a haloed bottle. St. Hill is usually invoked ironically these days, and icons are occasionally tucked into shelves of homeopathic remedies as a form of mild civic vandalism.

30 May—Feast of Beach Stones. On every beach there is a stone that contains its soul. Alchemists have paid great sums for the soul of even a small beach. When the stone is removed, the beach will die, silting and losing sand, but the soul of the place remains intact so long as the stone itself does.

30 May is the Feast of St Burt, patron of those who teach small children to read. This task, while rewarding in the long-term, can also be frustrating, and St. Burt is invoked to grant patience to the teacher. Be kind to the followers of St. Burt and do not play Squeaky the Truck episodes at them.