To prove our patriotism we should immediately replace all actual otters with Winston Churchill.
Faaack! Same.
There speaks a Peace Prize Winner.
“Strait of Hormuz”. Boy, overcompensating much?
Far be it for me to take issue with Tommy Tugs, but on the “No child ever looked at a Euro and dreamt of a different future” point, a) of course they fucking did, and b) everyone ever doing so with any currency was dreaming of having more money, not thinking “I wish I was the bloke on the back”. 🦡
(The Telegraph does not have Harvey Weinstein's jail diaries, btw. Just in case, unlike Axel Springer, you want to save your money.)
“Lucy Connolly went down really well, who else will the readers love?”
Some British newspapers now seem more interested in pleasing American readers than reflecting British opinion.
➡️ Watch Page 94, the Private Eye podcast: youtu.be/m8kyoyGdCQY
Elvis thought he was calling Dial-a-Disc and was really disappointed when he got Leo instead of the Nolans.
Thatcher.
My colleague @robbieegrif.bsky.social didn't believe me today when I said I could remember the ha'penny. These chip and pin kids...
BRING BACK NEWTON.
How did all those people get on the trolley lines in the first place? I'm calling for a complete and total shutdown of trolley lines until we can figure this problem out.
I was today years old when I realised Midnight Run and Midnight Express are different films. I thought it didn't sound like much of a comedy.
… in which you can play along with my game of “newspaper editorial on Iraq from 2003 or on Iran from 2026” and see if you do better than Ian, Helen and Andy. Learning from history is for LOSERS!
I mean he's putting his money where his mouth is.
I don't know; she's not got a wrinkle on her.
Thanks for the terrifyingly misleading headline, the Times!
In the end they went for another Ayatollah Khamenei to save having to redo all the stationery.
Only until the next draft taking in your editor's suggestions, copy edit, proof reading, desperate attempts to drum up some pre-publication publicity and launch are over. After that you'll be fine.
It's like “Learning from history? That's for wankers!”
🤷♂️
really hope Biffo is ok
Ok the Mail, you seem confused, do you REMEMBER HOW YOU DON'T LIKE HIM?
I think in this scenario Bjork is Wincey Willis.
It is my solemn duty to inform you of my husband's discovery that Rosalia's Berghain scans exactly to "John Kettley is a weatherman and so is Michael Fish".
😮🩲
🫢
The Force is with us once again. 🤺
