The internet basically peaked back when people were doing dance interpretations of Daft Punk’s “Harder Better Faster Stronger.”

Everything since then has just been a downward spiral of vice in higher resolution.

Landed in California. IMMEDIATELY got Dead Kennedys in my head. A good sign.

If a core tenet of your beliefs is that your fellow countrymen are an enemy who must be destroyed, you are a toxic piece of shit and your opinion is worthless.

Today’s goals: eat, like, sooooo many dumplings.

After that, I dunno, like, inner peace I guess?

I would give anything to be eating a giant turkey leg in a theme park right now.

Not nearly enough of my meals involve a tortilla, a squeeze bottle of sauce, and a bag of shredded cheese.

Being an adult sucks.

My niece covered up my nose with her hands and announced that now I look like normal people.

Toddlers are fucking brutal, man.

If I ever win the lottery, you bet your ass I am gonna be in a shark cage with great whites a few feet away from me as soon as I possibly can.

Shamefully, I have to confess that I just misidentified the intro to Iron Maiden’s “2 Minutes to Midnight” as the theme to Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers.

Streetlight Manifesto heals my soul.

When I win the lottery, I’m putting a Dyson Airblade in every room of my house.

Today I learned that if you are streaming something on tv, an Amber Alert will interrupt the stream and quit the app. Kinda cool to demand that attention.

Never gonna stop putting coffee in my morning Coke.

I haven’t made lasagna in ages. I should do something about that.

I have decided that the new Ghost album is actually a Skid Row album in goth makeup.

This actually makes me like it a whole lot more.

Is there a way to request a new audiobook version of Slaughterhouse Five? I already wasn’t a fan of James Franco’s uninspiring narration, and the fact that he’s now a notorious piece of crap doesn’t make me enjoy it any more.

I love @laurajanegrace.bsky.social . That’s all. That’s my post.

Even though I haven’t played in a couple years, I still just occasionally roll up new characters for DnD campaigns that will never exist.

That is a buck wild collection of stats lol

My attempt to get back into my 2000s pop-punk era has been thwarted by falling deep into a Coheed & Cambria well.

so many people warned about exactly this for years and major papers preferred to publish scare pieces about trans girls playing sports

Absolutely no one is happy about football today.

And absolutely no one will carry through with their threats to stop watching.

🤡🏈🇺🇸💵

Goals for the week:

Go to the gym 3x
Read a full book
Visit the aquarium and botanical garden
Eat approximately 5lbs of cheese

Turning 44 in a couple of days. Definitely making a choice to re-enter my 2000s pop-punk era.

My birthday is 9 days away, and I am ABSOLUTELY going to buy myself something stupid and financially irresponsible by then.

I have decided to get Chinese takeout for dinner, and it’s the biggest bright spot in my life today.