Shena Jade Jensen

These tactics are all about power and control.

Abuse is never the victim's fault: No one deserves to be abused.

Abuse can happen to anyone: It does not matter your gender, age, sexual orientation, race, or socioeconomic status.

The longer the abuse continues, the more dangerous it can become.

- Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming:

Abusers minimize or sent their abusice behavior, and blame the victim for their abuse, claiming that the victim "provoked" them or "deserved" it.

This tactic shifts the responsibility for the abuse onto the victim and prevents them from accessing help.

- Love Bombing:
At the beginning, abusers shower their victims w/ attention & grand gestures to create a strong emotional bond and make the victims feel special and more invested.

- "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde": they may have mood swings between being charming & loving to being cruel and abusive.

- Hypersensitivity: easily offended, angered, or overreacting over minor slights or disagreements

- Blaming you or others for their own abusive behavior or for problems in the relationship.

- Cruelty to animals or children

Other Signs:

- Fear of the Unknown:
Abusers instill fear in their victims such as threateing to take away their children, or make it difficult for them to find a job or housing.

- Rapid involvement: The relationship may move very quickly, with the abuser pressuring you for commitment early on.

- Restricting your freedom of movement: They may prevent you from leaving the house, or physically restrain you.

- Depriving you of basic needs including food or medical care as a form of control.

Physical Abuse:

- Any form of physical violence or threats of physical violence to you or someone you care about.

- Unwanted sexual contact: This includes any sexual activity that you did not consent to, including rape, sexual assault, or coercion.

- Stealing your money or assets without your permission.

- Refusing to to pay their share of expenses.

- Economic abuse: They may control your access to transportation, communication (phone, internet, media), or other resources necessary for independence.

Financial Abuse and Control:

- Controlling all finances: The abuser may take complete control, or monitor or withhold money, even if you earn it.

- Preventing you from working: They may sabotage your job, make it difficult for you to find or keep a job, or forbid you from working altogether.

- Isolation: They may try to isolate you from friends, family, or other support systems.

- Intimidation: They may use fear tactics to control you.

- Emotional manipulation: They may use guilt trips or blackmail to get their way.

- Controlling behavior: They may try to control your movements, what you wear, or how to live your life.

Emotional and Psychological Abuse:

- Constant criticism or belittling: The abuser may put you down, make you feel worthless, or constantly criticize your appearance, intelligence, or abilities.

- Gaslighting: They may deny or distort reality to make you doubt your own perceptions and sanity.

The country is in an abusive relationship. Try not to blame the victims. Try to be a safe place where eventually they can feel they can turn to you for the courage to break up, fight, and flee.