Bernie

Unironically posting “the Miami Dolphins just like me fr” on all tik toks talking about Dolphins players being late or missing players only meetings

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions”
Libertarian: “the free market could pave it for cheaper”

Moving on from Duolingo, I’ll now be learning languages on Dualipa

My playlist will never again give me such a perfect selection of songs than right now. All three fit exactly where my mental, emotional & THC states are.

“Everything to Nothing” - Manchester Orchestra
“Hunger Strike” - Temple of the Dog
“The Afternoon’s Hat” - Arctic Monkeys

When death comes for me, I’m gonna lean in and whisper in his ear “good boy”

Wish discord provided you with an avatar bling any time you were smoking/high

a man in a suit and tie is laughing with his mouth open ALT: a man in a suit and tie is laughing with his mouth open

Tesla Model Y? More like, Tesla Model Y did you buy that car?!??

Tyreek Hill wouldn’t enjoy a Savannah Bananas game.

Technically any man who has an internal monologue is mansplaining to themself

In an early fight in the Dark Web comic event, a demon from Limbo defected on the Christmas tree in Rockefeller plaza. Thereby making a sentient Shitmas Tree

Jack Whites name also doubles as a statement of fact about him

On one hand I wanna see The Curse Of The Presidents Trophy live on, but on the other hand, fuck Jordan Binnington

Fun party trick. Whenever someone uses the word “priceless” take it to mean “no value” instead of “value too high”.

It’s fucked up that lactose intolerant people have to live in the Milky Way

Going forward all apologies from me will be a simple “Sorry, for party rocking”

Do we think Reindeer Games are harder or easier than Squid Games?

The amount of tik toks I get from The Big Bash League, the T20 Aussie cricket league, is really making me want to go to Australia. Just for the cricket

Got so high that I forgot I had progressive lenses in my glasses. Couldn’t get shit to focus all night. Left early

One day, I’ll stop listening to “Drawbridge & The Baroness” on repeat but today is not that day

One of my annual traditions, since like 2020, has become to watch Big Fat Quiz of the Year from Channel 4 in the UK. It’s quite possibly one of the funniest shows of the year

In an effort to go viral, currently re-writing “All Shook Up” to now be known as “All Bricked Up”

The front of the cybertruck looks like a car you build with legos using parts not meant for a vehicle

Some moments from Bastille