🧸mel

but yeah speaking of hermit tendencies, i really don’t talk to people much lately. i’m used to and happy doing my own thing and i’m just retreating inward a lot and i’m also not as vulnerable around people. this is extremely vulnerable of me to say it feels weird

🐶: “Very spooky! A corpse is a dead body.”

maybe i can use this to post my progress on my novel i’m writing or something

i want to use this more but like some days i don’t even use twitter bc im becoming more of a hermit

also had a health scare and mental health low related to switching antidepressants (switched to a new one bc old one wasn’t working as well but the new one made me feel 10x worse, so i had to switch again while still going through withdrawal from my original one)

- went to otakon. sadly mid
- saw architects and nine inch nails
- worked at an orthodontist office for a week, immediately got sick and had to go on steroids, quit. unemployed again
- immunosuppressant is finally working. joint inflammation & pain are at their lowest since first seeing my rheum

pictures that aren’t bleak

3 months later it’s still bleak

This still needs a lot of detail but my shoulder is starting to hurt 🥲
#FF16 #BarnabasTharmr

occult crescent is wonderful. it’s like a dog being released into an off leash dog park. except there’s peril

oh one final update. i’m working on my novel again after 2 years of not even thinking about it

here are some dog pics

today i’m meeting w a trainer at the gym to help me form a workout plan. next day i have dinner with my old coworkers and i’m very excited :)

ummm also in the process of switching to a new antidepressant. terrifying but necessary. insomnia is horrific so my doctors are begging me to get a sleep study

going to a publishing networking event in nyc next week for queer people in the industry. hopefully after a stiff drink i’ll have the confidence to just start talking to strangers and tell everyone i’m unemployed

@avery-p.bsky.social AVERY TWITTER ISN’T THE SAME WITHOUT YOU AND I MISS YOU ALL THE TIME HOW ARE YOU DOING MY BRO

(lung inflammation is a possible side effect, so we have to make sure) and x-rays for back pain i’ve had for years that’s worsening and now radiating to my chest so i’m getting back x-rays again. hopefully degenerative disc disease isn’t getting worse and no arthritis

have health insurance now (no job yet HAHAHAha) thank god because i have to get 3 xrays and extra bloodwork before my next rheumatologist appt. my sjogren’s is controlled much better under my new meds, but i’m having side effects like hair loss so we need a precautionary chest xray to check my lungs

a black and white photo of a man in a suit and tie with the words it 's bleak below him ALT: a black and white photo of a man in a suit and tie with the words it 's bleak below him

life update

hello to the gamers

wip
why am I having so much impure thoughts about him

#FF16 #BarnabasTharmr
that’s a…uh…royal ass 🫣

been ages since I did a proper portrait I hold no responsibility if him doesn’t look like a villain 🙂‍↔️
#FF16 #BarnabasTharmr

#ff16
um...sorry?

drawing of themis from final fantasy 14. hes a ghostly white palette with hard to distinguish features and a hazy feeling. theres pops of bright colors on the edge of his silhouette

ive been thinking about reuploading this one so might as well #ffxiv

Queen Sphene #FFXIV

blanco @beerdefeater Every time a rave girl does ketamine a horse has to go into surgery awake

THEY’RE CLIMBING THE POLES IN TOKYO GO BIRDS🦅🦅🦅

heheheHEHEHEHEHEHEHHE

only good thing about getting my ass beat by Fishy Fandango is the banger