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Report: Oyster Cracker–Wise, Nation Doing Pretty Good https://theonion.com/report-oyster-cracker-wise-nation-doing-pretty-good-1819578214/

LP, LP, ➜, LK, HP. I went back redid my Homer Akuma. This time with synched mouth and tweaks.

Health Experts Recommend Standing Up At Desk, Leaving Office, Never Coming Back

Health Experts Recommend Standing Up At Desk, Leaving Office, Never Coming Back https://theonion.com/health-experts-recommend-standing-up-at-desk-leaving-o-1819577456/

Warnock to RFK jr: "For the first time, we are seeing deaths of children from measles. We haven't seen that in two decades. We're seeing that under your watch. You are a hazard to the health of the American people."

generally i find quest logs very boring but seeing "beat the game" pop up after finishing the tutorial is genuine comedy

standing on our balcony yelling down to each boy and asking him “what news”

Rock Looked Way Cooler Wet

Rock Looked Way Cooler Wet

I saw this on twitter when I opened it last nite and it resonated w me so I’m posting it here so you don’t have to even open that godforsaken app

graphic of a gold star written "has never even opened ChatGPT"

"Doesn't anyone notice this?! I feel like I'm taking CRAZY PILLS!"

Dumbest Friend Just Bought 20 Chickens

Dumbest Friend Just Bought 20 Chickens
theonion.com/dumbest...

today at the park we saw wild turkeys and some dude behind us was like “bro look at those owls” so what I’m saying is don’t ever let anyone make you feel stupid. you can visually identify a turkey

A little white dog with floppy black ears and spots, and brown around the sides of their snout sits at at an apple cider stand. It's surrounded by muted autumn foliage, a pumpkin, and a sandwich board that says Fresh Cider with an apple drawn below. The stand is wooden, with some lights hanging from the awning. There are apples stacked behind the dog, some mugs to their left, and a big dispenser for cider. There's a little wooden stool for patrons too.

Day 6: Danish-Swedish farm-dog. I had two ideas so decided to just do both. ☕
#doggust #doggust2025

Smart! Raven loves winning Tic Tac Toe.

Good morning !

Cartoon monster lady, Sue, in a "Don't Stop Calling T-shirt, pointing at a personification of "puritan activist groups" looming over a personification of "payment processor" Sue's Dialogue: YOOHOO! These motherfuckers think they can pick and choose what you do with your own money. You wouldn't let them do that, would you?

Hey if you hate censorship and want to do more than just doompost online, you can actually do something: Being annoying!

Hoards of people have been blowing up the phones of payment processing companies to pressure them not to bend to the whims of puritan groups.

stop-paypros.neocities.org

emma goldman and alexander berkman, a pair of smallish black cats, sit in identical poses on top of a hot pink cooler with a teal lid and yellow handles. staring.

i love their little copy+paste moments, even when they’re mildly unsettling like this one

The US satire cartoon show South Park secured a five-year deal worth $1.5 billion with Paramount Global. They began their season with this clip, challenging Trump to sue them.

A meme depicting two young children staggering back in fear at the sight of a bunny sitting next to a wooden bucket. Superimposed over the children it reads ‘my neurotypical colleagues’. On top of the bunny it says ‘me developing a new special interest in real time’

Really interesting how uncomfortable it makes neurotypicals when you like something and spend money and time and attention on it. If anything, it saddens me that this all-consuming love for something is so foreign and deviant to them

Sorry but personally if a miniature horse woke me up from anesthesia by banging out nonsense on a miniature keyboard it would send me into a liminal space between life and death from which I would never return

A randomly generated meme

a digital painting of a night heron standing with "i'm about to crash the fuck out" in gothic pixel text beside them. it also has 2 stars on the top and bottom of the text

my child

An image with a black and white background and a Latin American immigrant and a title Schröinger's Immigrant. On the left, it reads, "Lazily collecting all the welfare." On the right, it reads, "But also somehow taking all the jobs."

Do we still need stories about an aspirational immigrant who's so devoted to his adopted country that he regularly puts himself in danger to help even those who fear and distrust him, and who's primary antagonist is an egotistical tech billionaire?

Yes, fucking obviously. You numpties.