Many Types of Tea

Yikes mate. Hope you’re okay. Bloody Covid.

This is just evil Taskmaster #celebrityTraitors

Yessssss it’s time to trait #CelebrityTraitors

My love language is people who roll their eyes at love languages

Actual horror as the guy opposite me on the train falls asleep with his eyes half open. I assume I will get a partial refund because of this experience

A screenshot presumably originally from Twitter but seen by me on Facebook, original Twitter comedian lost to the mists of time, of a TIME magazine front cover, showing Harry and Meghan staring into the camera, Harry standing behind her with his hands on her shoulders, and the comedic caption reads: This looks like Harry is her hairdresser looking into the mirror explaining what he did to her layers

Cannot be unseen

MADAME CRYSTAL. Yes she had a magical aura and was fluffy and sweet like a unicorn

Just every single day when people talk to me about some AI situation I’m thinking, I have an idea, don’t use AI at all 👍🏼

every single tech idea is like “soon our robots will be capable of playing catch with your kid, freeing you up to spend more time working on your employers’ spreadsheets”

Great news! We’ve now changed where Automatic Replies live in Microsoft Outlook. Just click View -> Account to see nothing whatsoever, just the infinite emptiness of space, so that you have to log in on your phone for some reason and do it there instead

There’s so much wrong with the logic, including the idea that he’s the reason I’m not allowed to

… I don’t have to? 🤔

He put in brackets (Baldrick from Blackadder) AS IF I WOULDN’T KNOW WHO TONY ROBINSON WAS

But surely all rules are just “if we’re watching you”? *furiously smokes 8 cigarettes*

My dad is celebrating his birthday the old fashioned way (by sitting next to Tony Robinson at a cafe in Spain)

“Have you any brothers or sisters” man I would be killing this

I never thought my vocab from Higher French would be of any use but I’ve just started watching Love is Blind France & they are talking about their hobbies nonstop so guess you were right, Madame Whateveryournamewas

Seriously, it has this very distinctive aftertaste that is like very gently, very delicately licking an exhaust

New lows on the protein product front as I attempt to force down the rest of this Lidl Hazelnut & Chocolate pudding (notes of seaweed, motor oil)

Sounds like a farmer’s market sausage

You can’t be having a dry roast, no thank you

The first proper roast I ever had was after I moved to Dublin I have to say. Proper amount of gravy

Whatever problem that is, I like it

You can have Yorkshire puddings any day you like you know, no-one can stop you

My family never did roasts when I was growing up and I have to say, I was mystified when I got out into the world & saw everyone losing their minds about chicken and a bit of stuffing just because it’s Sunday

Omg you are going to have such a good time

Have you been before?

JAPAN! Amazing 🇯🇵

The comments were excellent. “San Andreas is jealous”

INSTAGRAM: And those are three easy ways to mount an elephant!
ME (does not have an elephant): *nodding, taking notes*