platonic eyeball fingering

princess syalis speech bubble

aini spoilers 2zuki

aini spoilers 2zuki

i see all of your posts because i'm only following 4 accounts that make more than one post a week and one of them is JAV titles

:o)

*'...people don't know things about most topics, and we have spaces where you see what is most popular With Everyone instead of topic specific forms, the...'
^ the "putting things into the middle of a run-on sentence at the first place it's possible to without checking if it still makes sense"-er

-- social capital frequently enough that they haven't been prompted to think about it". there's a lot of. you know. like. the only reason i never fell into 'danganronpa bad' is because of katsu discussing it as A Game With Artistic Merit And Vision instead of [????], because i think katsu is cool.

and that's okay. you don't need to have a close relationship with everyone you talk to the question is just if this friendship or this space is enriching your life more than it's pissing you off and if the latter can be solved by saying "this person is probably busy and wins this argument on --

and anything else you end up going "tch... these simpletons haven't even reconsidered their opinions on Danganronpa in 2025, truly beholden to the median popular take with no original thoughts of their own" in the corner because you don't want to get into an argument (again speaking from experience)

it was completely subconscious and i only noticed it happened once it became a problem.
and 2: it's like, fine to have social interactions with people who you wouldn't be close friends with. sometimes there's someone or a group of people you can only talk to about a certain list of topics

and instead went "it's fine to ask this person for things because they're a worse person than you" so i could. get the thing i need. because i am tired and stressed all the time. and this led to problems obviously, but those problems are the only reason i know this happened, right?

like there's something i've had to repeatedly ask someone for recently and it's help that i need but that i feel is something I Specifically am not allowed to ask other people for due to my Inherent Badness, and at some point in the process my brain stopped fighting me about asking for it

so like 1: you should probably not assume the fact you're pursuing every available thought pop-up means you are thinker of all things that could ever be relevant (and i am of course saying this as someone only thinking this out for the first time as i'm typing it here)

even saying "you should think about this" is often instead taken as a threat to someone's self image as Moral And Good instead of those words in that order because the jungian concept of the shadow got hands. sometimes people need time, or One Specific Video Game, or whatever

time spent philosophising is time not spent (tries to come up with an example act that actually makes more money for the service than it costs)... Engaging In Capitalism. it's not like people get the DE thought popup and choose not to pursue it the menu simply doesn't appear

like you know the "i never considered XYZ thing maybe i'm a bad person" joke. yes that could have been A Thought and led to some personal revelations, but what it was instead was a very popular tweet. very easy cost benefit analysis. the system does not reward people for thinking (joker voice)

at which point it is already easier to double down on your behaviour. and because most people don't know things and we have spaces where you see what is most popular With Everyone instead of topic specific forms about most topics the social behaviour being mimicked is ignorance

people are tired. you know. people, especially allistic people, will see a bunch of people doing something and mimic first ask questions later, and when you're tired and stressed all the time there feels very little point in asking questions until a problem comes up

-- assume interiority to other people's behaviours. you can say "yes maybe this person is very well read or has done a lot of thinking on this or that topic and it's never come up but they're being an overconfident dipshit about this thing they know nothing about" but like.

as someone who also struggles with trying not to feel smarter than everyone else when i am in fact smarter than everyone else i was going to reply with the thing about "people are smart on different topics" but you raise a good point. i think it just comes down to the fact you still have to --

the plan is still posting my bullshit until someone kills me about it i am just working on important things like "getting in some good Floor Time" and "outlining writing wips for things that absolutely cannot be my second* fic posted to ao3"

i don't need you to be with me (just try to remember what you see in me)

show your preemptive appreciation for all the good posting i will do this month. blorbo questions or if i haven't made it clear if you have drawing questions i will drop everything to make 5 paragraphs several diagrams and a list of free reference materials any account any time i spend about as much time Thinking About It as i do actually drawing so i can 99% guarantee i can at least point you in the direction of something that will help especially if it's a "i've tried googling 'how do i draw X' fifteen times and it's never helped" question born to [solar sands] forced to [reading yaoi instead of voice training]. or you can ask "what was this bit in your fic about" "what's your favourite thing in your fic nobody's noticed" and i'll say "i have a self imposed commitment to death of the author". it'll be fun!

i was planning on only posting porn on here until the fifteenth and/or i get banned but chances of me having that much ability to do particular things are incredibly low so i'll probably just start mirroring later..... weh.

Anonymous asked: Whats a thing in your fic nobody taks about? response: that there are no Date POV chapters. i started this fic by making a bunch of perfectly random decisions about the format to see where it led me, and that one affects literally nothing, lol. it gave me a good basis to write around, even though it meant i couldn't include any actual saidate stuff....... i have a mostly finished sex scene in my notes set just after chapter 29 - jinzAI that i need to clean up and post at some point, and a couple other vague paragraphs from saito's POV. if only i was doing some sort of month where i finished my works in progress

Anonymous asked: what made u want to write part of ur fic as a screenplay/script? idk its so cool so i wonder if its meant to thematically represent smth :3 response: it thematically represents that i wanted to make it clear if it was saito doing date's voice or not when he was speaking and in picking the easiest option i signed myself up for 500 hours of reformatting it definitely started on a whim from the concept of 'saito "acting" as date' which is interesting because the idea compels me exceedingly little. i did genuinely have the idea while trying to work out how to tag his voice in that first saito chapter after physically writing out a bunch of notes for it, and that first chapter is the full extent to which i care, right? i start the fic with a few lines describing it in post and saito telling ryuki his actual name... honestly, it's really clumsy, i could do it a lot better now. i think getting to see things like that is maybe the best part of watching live releasing online work, though the thing i enjoy about it now is sort of... and this is the bit where i go "this is My Interpretation Of The Work (the work that i wrote)"

continued from last image: ... it's the easiest way to show saito as a narrator. there's a lot of declarative statements about things he doesn't know, and most of it is stuff he isn't thinking about. these things are said because they're for the camera, because he's filling the objective POV role of a screenplay. you lie in fiction, you lie to the audience, but the screenplay exists behind the curtain. it is all available information, it is truthful. if there's one thing i keep a focus on the whole way through it's ways in which characters manufacture an objective voice for their lies. some of that was cart before the horse with making 'unreliable narrator' the third tag on the fic, but i do really enjoy it as a concept. and that's the take on the acting thing i do find compelling, the objectivity of it. the tag isn't "SAITO (in Date's voice)", he is date as he is perceived as such, and in doing so there is no room for date in the script. more i could say here about how saito perceives people vs their bodies in the actual game (especially lines changed in localization) but that's too off topic for how much i'm already talking the other thing is the routine. it's a voice of knowing exactly what will happen, you know what's going to happen when something's already happened before. it's rote, it's rehearsed, it's... you know. mizuki and [date] have formats for expressing that concept, but saito does not have a way to not express that concept. it has all happened before, even if from a different position, and it is going to happen, no matter what. i suppose if there's something it 'represents thematically' it's the 'cyclical hurt' in 'love, cyclical hurt, and making the best of a bad situation'

kataga asked: What were the intermissions about in your fic? It’s Saito’s format, but who are Girl A and Girl B? response: intermissions are about getting up to go to the bathroom and buy more popcorn i think saito's format... hm. are the call transcripts [date]'s format? it's something that's happening, and it's showing a way that objective information is delivered to the audience in the interest of lending credibility to the person using a similar format. but if that's the case, maybe i should have started with it like the transcript while i was already going back to add things...... i don't think it's too hard to work out who Girl A was, but if there is a point, it's sort of that they're the opposite of the call transcripts. here's the material facts of a conversation between two people, the exact time it happened, what was said, and the bodies they are in -- and here's a conversation happening at some time, between two unclear people, and a focus on what was meant rather than what was said.

kataga asked: Stealing a question directly from your post here but I do genuinely want to know. What’s your favorite thing about your fic that nobody’s noticed? response: impossible for a guy like me to pick one thing and also it's a little presumptuous to assume nobody's noticed something just because they haven't commented on it. really who is writing these questions (lol) there's a lot of Saito Just Saying Shit lines that i am incredibly fond of for one reason or another and i worry it looks like i'm just doing 'tell don't show' writing because nobody's commented on it.......... a lot of the later chapter lines around ryuki and the fake POV changes in psittacistic especially. screenshot of screenplay format text: (...) He still hasn't changed his mind about replacing the entire bedspread, quite possibly the mattress too, every few weeks in lieu of simply buying a plastic sheet or anything of the sort. The logic is clear, if irrational: any repeat payment, no matter how costly, could always be the last one. To prepare for something is to admit you have a problem. post continues: this one i almost took out when i was rereading it before i remembered why i put it in here. maybe that does mean i'm just doing bad writing and blaming it on the character, but, i like it.

answering questions i asked people to send because i am bored. you can send questions in on straw page rysdt.straw.page and i will forget to put them here. spoilers (for the game and my fic i guess)

-- and i would feel incredibly gross tagging that as 'CNC' or having a character turn to camera to say "i am consenting to this and it would be okay in real life". like. I Don't Know I Think That's Worse Than Just Being Able To Make Art About Bad Things Happening Sometimes Actually.

i don't know. 99% chance i've made this tweet before because this website sucks shoe polish but i like making stuff about. people twisting themselves into knots to convince themselves they're responsible for their own abuse and that what was done to them was consensual --

they should make a site that is good. for trans women and artists and all trans people but especially trans women. is anyone working on this. no? okay. awesome.

oh okay,. cool. cool. awesome. great. cool. good. love that. awesome. thanks bluesky. (starts coughing up blood (in a way that doesn't glorify harm or dangerous stunts))

date and saito are constantly having sex just off screen but none of it can be shown for plot reasons. i had to make an ao3 skin and then reformat a bunch of writing for the ao3 skin. you can read it now. for free (which is like a hotel saying 'we have beds' to imply other hotels don't have beds)