Marital Madness

Yesterday, I committed an unforgiveable marital crime. I opened a NEW bottle of ketchup when there was already an open one. What was I thinking? I’m not a husband. I’m a monster.

THE STAGES OF MARRIAGE:
(YEAR 10) Wife: “I love you.”
(YEAR 20) Wife: “You’re so special to me.”
(YEAR 30) Wife: “OMG! Stop blowing your nose on the dish towels!”

Disability Advocates Cry Foul Over Dismantling Of Special Ed: 'Our World Is On Fire' Efforts to gut the U.S. Department of Education's special education office and move the program to another agency are already causing "immediate harm" to students with disabilities, advocates warn.

Efforts to gut the U.S. Department of Education's special education office and move the program to another agency are already causing "immediate harm" to students with #disabilities, advocates warn. #SpecialEducation

After an exhaustive search, I finally found where my wife had been hiding HER chocolate. HA! HA! So now it’s MY chocolate, and it’s in a NEW hiding place. I cannot believe my bride stooped to such childish behavior. I guess I have to be the grown-up.

My wife tried a new recipe last week, and I tried a new emergency room. Getting your stomach pumped is never fun, but the good news is that I’m off of solid food for a few days, so I get to avoid my wife’s cooking. Every cloud has a silver lining.

Canadian filmmaker and his actor sister behind national ad about aging with Down syndrome | CBC News For Windsor, Ont., filmmaker Drew Hyttenrauch, it was the chance to do the production of a lifetime and highlight the issue of a growing need in the Down syndrome community — and one he and his sister...

A brother and sister in Ontario aim to raise awareness about aging with Down syndrome. #family #downsyndrome #aging www.cbc.ca/news/canada/...

Just as I was about to ask my wife for the TENTH TIME where something was – I found it. Now my bride is convinced she witnessed an honest-to-goodness miracle. HALLELUJAH!

My wife came home from a trip and was impressed by my housekeeping until she found the dirty dishes hidden in the oven, the dirty laundry shoved under the bed, and the unused broom, mop, and vacuum sweeper stuffed in a closet. But I learned a valuable lesson. I need to find better hiding places.

I'm tempted to point out when my wife is wrong, but that’s a good way to end up with a broken pointer.

Me: (confidently) “Now that you’re getting older, I think I’m going to trade you in for a 25-year-old.”
Wife: (unfazed) “Good luck with that. Younger women love bald guys with big noses and no money.”
As you can see, the romance is still sizzling!

Me: (declaring loudly) “Marriage is not a competition!”
Wife: “Whatever you say, Dear.” (gloats because women live longer)

Check out Marital Madness!
It’s a collection of hilarious stories
featuring the ramblings of a clueless husband.
The site is free to read and worth every penny!
mc-humor.com

Thank you for taking the time to read the story and for your comment!

I am so happy for you and your family. Thank you for your comment!

Those pictures would make anyone smile!

I agree. It is an amazing speech!

I had a similar experience. I grew up with a childhood friend who had Down syndrome. That led me to my career working with adults with intellectual disabilities. I’m retired now, but I still miss them! Thank you for your comment.

I am so sorry for your loss. I was fortunate to work with people with disabilities for decades. During that time, I lost five friends with Down syndrome. I can only hope you find comfort in the memories you have of your nephew.

I'm sorry you took offense at a description that is frequently used.

Thank you.

Thank you. We were friends for 17 years, and his memory is a wonderful blessing.

UNWORTHY

A story about Operation T4, carried out by the Nazis based on the doctrine that people with disabilities represented “life unworthy of life.” Their murder was termed disinfection.

The story is free to read. mc-fiction.com/2021/06/15/u...

Caregivers often go unappreciated. You and your brother are fortunate to have each other. Thank you for your comment.

So sorry you lost her. Thank you for your comment.

I've lost several friends with Down syndrome, but I can only imagine how painful it is to lose a loved one. Thank you for your comment.

I'm glad you liked it! Thank you for taking the time to read it and for your comment!

I'm glad you liked the poem! Our little dog is Zoey. She's eleven pounds of cuteness. The pup in your profile pic is adorable as well!

I agree completely.

I understand what you're saying. Having an illness is difficult enough without having to put up with the skeptical attitudes of the medical profession.