Karen

Teacher: When the pain is on the inside, we are attacked, but we become the attacker. We are the attacker and the attacked. We are just looping.

The Buddha explained:

“In life, we can’t always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. The second arrow is optional.”

We started with a 15 minute breathing relaxation. Breathing in to nourish and breathing out to release.

About to start my second Fierce Self-Compassion class.

Met a new support worker today. It went ok. She seems nice.

ER is now available to stream on Netflix! I finished watching Parenthood just in time!

I had my counselling session this morning. She recommends I phone/email my support worker agency and iron out the kinks. Easier said than done, but I need to do it for my wellbeing and anxiety/stress levels.

I had the most vivid dreams last night. Turns out I should thank #Lamotrigine for that!

The final ever episode of #Parenthood always has me in tears. What a show. What a show.

Anyone else on a similar mix of medication with success? Looking for positivity, ideally.

Diagnosis:

Treatment Resistant Depression
Anxiety Disorder
OCD
cPTSD
Anorexia

Also Autistic

#Lamotrigine #Topiramate #Aripiprazole #Vortioxetine

I finally got through to them and I’ve just been to collect my prescription along with my monthly refills.

I think my pharmacy have taken their phone off the hook again. I have tried to call them so many times this morning and it just keeps ringing. They do this a lot when they’re busy. They really need to hire more staff or something.

My GP has issued a prescription for Lamotrigine that I need to go collect at some point. Wish me luck. #Lamotrigine

I went to see Send Help last night. I recommend! It was very good!

Thinking of you xx

Woke up feeling extra anxious.

"Ideas come as you walk, Nietzsche said, Walking dissipates thoughts, Shankara taught."

Cioran in a nutshell it seems

"Having always lived in fear of being surprised by the worst, I have tried in every circumstances to get a head start, flinging myself into misfortune long before it occurred."

That's so true bestie

I had a phone call from Mind earlier, offering me a place on a 5 week Recovery Support course starting March 10th. I, of course, said yes. I am grabbing on to anything that could possibly help me to heal and grow. #Depression #EDRecovery #Anxiety #MentalHealth

Anyone had any success with Lamotrigine? I’m probably starting it next week. I also take Vortioxetine, Aripiprazole, and Topiramate.

I’ve just booked an EFT tapping workshop for Tuesday 17th February. I’ve tried it, with some benefit, a few times before (following guidance from google and reels etc) but I think a workshop will be more beneficial. #EFT #Tapping #EmotionalRegulation #Regulation

I didn’t cancel!

*fingers crossed* for some relief down the line. #Depression #Anxiety #EDRecovery #EatingDisorderRecovery

Just heard from the Doctor who works with the Eating Disorder team. She’s spoken to the psychiatrist and they recommended a few things. Watch and wait, increase the Aripiprazole or add in Lamotrigine. I’ve decided to go with the Lamotrigine. I should start it next week sometime.

I miss the adrenaline high, or whatever it was, that came with starvation. #EDRecovery #EatingDisorderRecovery #Anorexia

I’m supposed to be meeting a friend later and every part of me wants to cancel. I’m just not feeling like socialising. #Depression #Anxiety #MentalHealth

So, the coordinator got the session time wrong, so now the session can’t go ahead because I have a meeting at my daughter’s school later. Another reason for said heightened anxiety for the day. I just want to go back to bed. Argh!

I'm feeling incredibly anxious about meeting my new support worker this morning. Every single part of me wants to phone up and cancel. She'll be here in just over an hour, though. Argh! #SupportWorker #Anxiety

I’ve just seen the ED doctor. She’s going to speak to the consultant psychiatrist about how best to tweak my medications to help with my current decline in depression and increase in anxiety. Hopefully it won’t take too long for her to get an answer. #EDRecovery #Depression #Anxiety

I’ve deleted so many social media apps in the last week or so, I’m now down to Bluesky, Threads and Instagram - which still sounds like a lot, however, none of them have IRL friends on them, which is fabulous!