Yung War Crimes

Sitting on my own dick until it falls asleep so it feels like I'm jacking someone else off.

YODA: circumcised are you
ME: That's a private matter, Yoda.
YODA: absent of skin a jedi must be
ME: Not interested. Go away, Yoda.
YODA: take off your shorts you must
YODA: show it to me you will
YODA: going where are you
YODA: your penis I must see
YODA: cut your long pink pipe must be
YODA: mmMm

i don't know how you can watch like, any movie ever made and think a computer would do a better job than even the most hack filmmaker

Pussy got me thinking about the time I tried to smuggle one of those fancy Spanish hams through airport security by sticking it under my shirt and pretending to be even fatter than I am.

The one piece was actually revealed during a 2010 domino's collab.

Praying the doctor knicks an artery

Walking into my local grocery store wearing a trench coat and matching hat and a domino mask and loudly declaring "I AM NOT A HORSE, PLEASE DO NOT BE ALARMED!" I then eat like 3 bags of apples and shit on the floor. (I was a horse the entire time)

I wish his mother had been aborted

Getting fisted in a yaoi must be fuvki g insane, dude. Like you're getting the equivalent mass of Like a standard cast iron pan with a not too dissimilar form factor shoved up your poop hole and just expected to survive.

I wasn't planning on buying shrimp any time soon regardless but now that I know it could be radioactive I low key kinda want it.

#shrimp
#radioactiveShrimp
#RFKLooksLikeASunDamagedLeatherCouch

Its cute that u think they care

I understand him, spiritually.

Nah eat shit

"Im shitmaxxing and toiletmogging rn" I whisper to myself as I experience some of the worst diarrhea known to man.

🙏🙏🙏

Shut up pelosi, you old fucking ghoul.

Finally, a candidate i can actually get behind.

You have a wet sponge where your brain should be.

I could never be mad at you.

Yeah

We have kimchi in America, it is called coleslaw and you make it by substituting every step in kimchi preparation with mayonnaise

This mustn't register on an emotional level. First distract target. Then block her blind jab. Counter with cross to left cheek. Discombobulate. Dazed, she'll attempt wild haymaker. Employ elbow block and body shot,

It's the perfect album

I should make my parents watch cowboy bebop

Guy who's turning 25: I think I've wasted my whole life, FUCK

Guy who's turning 40: I think I've wasted my whole life, FUCK

Guy who's turning Japanese: I think I'm turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so....

Dawg shut up

Sorry but no

NEIR 3?!

the president wont see your cheap dunks against jeffery epstein . But your friends who have ties to state sponsored pedophilia will