crescent / tempest

right now my to do list for misc fic stuff is
- diamo events
- a gift fic for a small exchange with friends
- soyo fic
- mumo shipping
and i might be getting a wee bit impatient on getting to that last one even though i need to prioritize working on the others

i hope i can get that soyo fic out by the end of the year. please please please i wanna be able to write mumo ship fic

yeah umiri was kind of the first one in mujica to want anything to do with mortis specifically and all that even if it was her whole (gestures vaguely) you will become real thing. umimort real to me

i need compression socks or something for my calves because they hurt so bad. my calves hurt like hell whenever im tired but im tired all the time these days so maybe i should just invest in some compression socks so the leg pain is a little less unbearable

im doing my best it just. sucks. and thank you for the kind words it really does mean a lot when im having a bit of a Moment about this sort of thing

i have to laugh about it because it makes me upset that my joints scream at me every time i move okay. silly jokes are important so i don't try to rip my organs out. so should i force my friends to come to a party about this or what

and then ill force all my friends to guess what my chronic illness diagnoses are. so once i get my bloodwork back i can force them to guess. will it be pots? will it be anemia? will it be some secret third thing? probably a combination!

actually because im talking about chronic illness. i had this genius idea a few weeks ago for a party. it's like a gender reveal party but instead it's for my chronic illness diagnoses. and ill call it POTS OR NOTS

okay. bitch session over. i just needed to scream because i got hit with random pain that put me in the fetal position even though it's a nothing burger compared to other chronic pain. i complain about chronic illness a lot but in my defense... it sucks. evil shit to live with

sighs loudly. the pain isn't even that bad right now it just annoys me that im having it at all because i really shouldn't be. unfortunately i am in my early twenties which means both pots and endo are slamming the gas pedal and it sucks ass. october slide i hate yoooooou

it mildly pisses me off honestly that i have been having symptoms for over a decade now but because of what chronic illnesses i have the only solution is to shrug and hope for the best. whyyyyyyy is healthcare so bad at helping with this sort of thing

and i feel like it just comes out of nowhere! having a normal one and then sudden pain. i guess the pain could be worse but i have at least a little bit of pain every day and it's so annoying. please dear god don't let it get worse im begging on my knees

in the last three years i have been hit by three new october slide symptom spikes that have just. become permanent. and it sucks. no, i didn't need leg pain. or joint issues. or abdominal pain. can we stop that please i am asking so nicely

october slide pisses me the hell off because oh yeah the changing of the seasons is worsening my symptoms. i don't NEED them to get worse they are already bad enough as it is!! stop doing that right now ohhhh my god!!

i mentioned tatiana and realized i hadn't announced arnwa chapter six yet. uhhh it is out now! go meet tatiana's little brother!

uhhhhh anyway takeru takaishi is the most important little boy. my golden child who has so many diseases. who i am also scared shitless of writing wrong because of course i am. even though i keep recreating his schtick in characters like mirina diamo and tatiana arnwa. smh my head

but godddd if you asked me to write a long fic for digimon adventure specifically i would be scared out of my freakin mind. just because if i fuck up characterization on any of those twelve kids who defined my childhood i might have to explode right there on the spot

the funniest part is that this doesn't apply to any other digimon season. horizon wars is pretty damn different from digimon frontier, but i've never worried about that. probably because i made my peace with it being really different ages ago. or because i know i just oc-ified it honestly

gestures vaguely. i haven't written anything for digimon adventure in a while and i might have to change that because when the illness does consume me i become a ravenous beast about it but damn. i just feel like it's complicated in a way i can't describe

for all i know, this is just me being paranoid since i have been told that i'm very good at character analysis. but i stg no piece of media in the WORLD gets me as paranoid about fucking it up as digimon adventure. and i am TERRIFIED of writing sakiko togawa incorrectly

i don't give a shit about trampling all over tri because it's tri and i don't like it. but every other part of adventure feels like holy ground that i can't deface. it's complicated and hard to explain. i feel like my character work for it just never quite clicks in the way i need it to

every time i think back on echo, i think of the things i would change. i think some parts of it were great, but with others, i'm not quite as sure. and i don't know how to approach stuff like kizuna or the beginning at all because there's just so much playing behind the scenes on them

i have written a digimon adventure long fic though! i rewrote tri back in 2021-2022! but i still don't think it's my best work or anything. maybe it's just an unfortunate middle child between eight intertwined and horizon wars. i don't know. but it's just missing something special to me

i can do one shots. i love one shots, as a matter of fact. but writing a long fic about digimon adventure is hard for me in a way that i can't really describe. it feels like holy ground. and i'm a lot more afraid of fucking it up than i am with most other pieces of media honestly

but at the same time, i feel like there's a weird hesitation around writing adventure and zero two content specifically for me. there's so much going on in this show, and i've seen all 104 episodes more times than i can count, but it never quite feels like enough

because its themes and character development methods i think are all over my stories if you know where to look for them. adventure's embodying your best traits to become your best self and zero two's finding peace in bonds with other people?? everywhere in everything i write honestly

you know how they say that the media you were really into when you were like 11-12 never really leaves you. hoooo boy they are NOT kidding. for me it was digimon adventure and zero two and i feel like that series had catastrophic implications on my brain

tip of the day: never let people on twitter convince you that their endless doom posting is reality

got hit with some existential dread and then started watching a kirby video and now im normal again

the littlest guy ever