For all those right wingers complaining about how an MP is dressed, I think you should sit this one out.....
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I don't know who needs to hear this but it's National Earmuff Day
Today is National Christian Day or as Russell Brand likes to call it.... National Alibi Day....
My pet lizard was always so wound up that he couldn't sleep. I've started playing Boy George songs at bedtime & now he's a calmer chameleon 😊
Have I been celebrating World Obesity Day? Fat chance....
Think I was outside the Reform Party headquarters earlier....
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Opening a business offering cut price tours to see exotic birds in their wild surroundings & will also include discounted bird food…it's for people who like cheap trills...
If not, then Peter Crouch is the only guy escaping 🤭
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Nope🤣...but I think those panels on the wall fold out to become tiered seating 🤔
"No exit unless in emergency!"
And that emergency would be a flood where you float 15ft up to the door…
For anyone saying, if John Davidson isn't a racist, why is that word even his vocabulary?
Well I'm guessing it's in yours & that's why it, understandably, upsets you.
Now imagine being unable to stop yourself saying it…there's where you need to stop being a dick & your empathy should kick in...
It's difficult to imagine John Davidson could've said anything worse at the BAFTAs…if only there was a film people could watch to educate themselves about his condition.
If there was, anyone slaughtering him would know it's tearing him apart that it happened.
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I've got another fusilli ones 🤭
I've written a full stand up routine based on Italian food…don't gnocchi it until you've tried it...
Today is Be Humble Day. You might all try but there is NOBODY more humble than ME....
Today is Tug Of War Day. I used to supply a local club with 2nd hand equipment for that…it was money for old rope...
Met Craig David on Monday. Yesterday was a real eye opener....
I find opposable thumb jokes totally gripping....
Anyone want to join my new tribute band, Rocksy Music…we do Lighthouse Family covers...
Apparently, today is Singles Awareness Day. I thought that was yesterday 🤷♂️
Everyone knows it's Valentine's Day but I just found out it's also Library Lovers Day…they kept that quiet....
Today is International Condom Day. Not sure what you're all up to but I'm getting rubbered…
What idiot called it the Recycling Centre and not the tipping point?
Do I like Depeche Mode puns? I just can't get enough...
