Vivian Blaxell

Now and then, comes defamiliarization. In n+1, social media/social platforms became surveillance media/surveillance platforms, and I was, like, slap fucking slap.

In almost three quarters of a century, I've been through several innovations of which, this will be the end of humanity, was said: Television; the pill; discotheques; daylight saving; computers; cellphones; email; internet; social media. Now ai. Yet no end came, nor comes, for our end is unending.

Could live to 21, the vet said, and I said, I’ve already done that, and the vet said, Now it’s the cat’s turn.

Look, I know I’d get more light and $ if I wrote more exploded essays like the chapters of Worthy of the Event. I have the topics and I know they’d be better written than the kind of imagined and actual things I’m writing now, but I just can’t, I just will not. Do not ask again.

Primeval form of voicemail and call screening, liberation and entrapment at the same time.

Dodge’s book is much better, I think, and he has a more developed relationship with the theory. Was it not published when u were in grad school?

I’m fucked if I know why trans people hate Nelson and Argonauts. I mean, it’s not a trans book but Harry Dodge participated. It’s well written. Her takes on the theory are, um, *coarse*, but at least it is theory. OTH, it is possible to hate her for her success and, on my bad days, I do, I do, I do.

Almost anything Kaija Saariaho will oblige you to slide along its surface.

I transitioned in 1967-68. We knew about Candy but were not impressed. The girls of Pigalle, however, we admired even if, like me, an entertainment career was not what we wanted.

It’s very good though I can’t abide how Zackary Drucker hammers and hammers at Amanda to come out. Amanda made her decision about that 50+ years ago and she has been ever staunch about it. Show some respect for her decision, is what I say.

Have you seen the documentary about Amanda and April Ashley, Enigma? They both meant a lot to me when I was 16 and transitioning in Sydney and also thereafter. April was a sign of how beautiful and precarious I could be. Amanda showed me that I could just insist on whatever identity I wanted.

Preparation for the road book I promised to write (working title: Planet 9) requires reading every novel said to be structurally inspired by Canterbury Tales. I have Hyperion and Tokyo Canceled. Suggestion box?

One student gave me a canister of Taiwan black tea. The other told me there is a little bungalow for me in Chiang Rai, if I want to opt out of Portugal. I feel seen.

I am as narcissistic, as volatile, as spurning, and as vainglorious as Mr. Trump so where is my White House.? Oh, money and conditions of possibility.

theory of the hack this isn't about you

Emily Zhou’s Substack takes a very good turn with structure and topicality while keeping that crystalline diction I’ve come to admire and expect from her.

My furies about
murderers, shills,
and three kinds of
you fucking queen and disrespectful sister
forced me willy nilly
back to Canterbury Tales
where I found the road
to a perfect book
and the kind of anchoritic
vacancy that befits me.

There is not one drop of ressentiment in the vitriol.

Ire is as sugar to me.

I am rage itself.

TONIGHT please come through!!!

Also, it turns out that I am by no means the only writer to complain about that book publicity person’s dishonesty, gaslighting, and destructive incompetence. So, if you told me to de-escalate and think about your need to do business with the slag, you can eat my cunt now.

I explained why it offends me and if that doesn’t work and it happens again, I will make it official.

Personally, I don’t give a shit. Politically, I find it silencing and terrifying.

On Friday, a colleague at RMIT whom I’ve worked with for 14 years called me tranny and when I protested she said I was too woke, her freedom of speech. I may never write again.

A top story on the Australian Broadcasting Corporation’ s morning news and radio journalism program today was the Kirk killer being in a relationship with a trans woman. It broke me. I may never write again.

Suffice to say, I can’t bear to read a single sentence of Worthy of the Event. What rubbish it is; yes it is.

Comecei a minha última grande aventura geográfica.

I have begun my last great geographical adventure.

Then too, being human and being a person do not always go together.

I’m an ancient transsexual. I’m happily suspicious of everything and everybody. But, I don’t want to be only suspicious of ai. I want to be naturally intelligent about it. Thus, I’m running various research questions on ChatGPT5 and checking answers to see where the errors are. Educational, very.