Loathsome Shrew

Sure, I'm willing to give them a chance.

I have an insatiable lust for the same thing over and over again.

Yes, I see. Perhaps you would be better suited inventing a type of human that can never be tainted.

Only if you are pure of heart. I can't risk having a corruptible lab assistant.

So much grass... Wouldn't mind grazing there for a while.

Stalked by all manner of beasts, but I stay stress-free.

Detective 1: We found the victim's bones buried in the backyard.

Detective 2: You don't think...?

Detective 1: I do... Our killer is a dog. A very bad dog...

Unbound Watto, Champion of Tatooine.

Regularly injecting myself with capybara blood to chill out a little.

Get back over here! The die is cast? You can play games with your friends later. The only consequences you need to worry about are what I'm going to do if you keep messing around over there.

It's okay to collapse, but it doesn't have to be messy.

Loving life should not hurt this much.

In a sense, but it can reason and help with chores.

Inventing a new type of human that will never betray me.

High school was a blur; I was spinning around going "WHEEEEEEEEEE!!!" the whole time.

Hey, you cant worship that!!

😏 🪺

😋 🪹

🦅
🏃

"It's a dog-eat-dog world." You should aspire to be more than a canine cannibal.

My nutritionist put me on a raw grain diet and cast me out to graze with the beasts of the field.

When one door closes, another door opens, according to the Law of Conservation of Opportunity.

I haven't accepted the offer yet. Need some time to think it over. I've never held a leadership position before, much less the power of life and death over my employees.

I sent an email to Bluesky inquiring when group chats will be available and they replied, asking me "What's that?"

After I explained, they said "That's a great idea" and "You're a smart guy" and they offered me to "join our merry band of misfits" as a "front-and-backend developer."

"Not a significant source of Vitamin D"
What? Why am I drinking this?

"Same Great Flavor!"
Ah... Now I remember.

"Can you solve the maze? ⤵️"
A test of wits, eh? I believe you will find me the equal of Theseus.

icon of two people frolicking with two large leaves over them

We're doing this from now on

Alcoholism is a type of subculture like steampunk or professional managerial class

Labored Breathing Day? 🤞

(toiling in field)
What a miserable wretch I am...

(the lord of the manor rides up)
Your wretchedness sparks pity in me. What is your heart's desire? I shall grant it.

(thinking)
Well, there is one thing...

[LATER]

(toiling in field with bejeweled pitchfork)
Surely I am the envy of kings.

The enemy is thoughtlessness and its greatest weapon is expedience.

Muttering "I cannot let that future come to pass" to myself while performing chores around the house.

"Thoughts? Your Thoughts? Your Thoughts on this? What are Your Thoughts on this?" I think you should get some.