SHREW

I hope the males' pouches are also waterproof.

Your tastes are too broad, your interests too varied. They can't handle the scope. You reach farther than they can see.

You don't have to consume it. I just don't have anyone else to give this to.

I'm going to increasingly go forth this year.

You can't be wasting resources like that.

Let my blood be your broth, my suffering your stew.

Hopefully this one goes better than Spider-man's previous marriages.

I thought they were just acting, it being their profession and all.

Finding out the person I've been dating is a stripper when they start taking their clothes off.

My children's future is my number one concern at all times of day and year.

It dominates my thoughts in every conscious hour.

The greatest danger they face is never existing at all.

I must admit this is a nut I have yet to crack, although I have been watching some helpful compilations online.

(walking into a church and my skin starts blistering) Can I use your bathroom? I promise I'll do nothing else.

It's actually kinda cool to be alienated.

Hell of a sandwich and I bet even a pack of herbivores could appreciate that.

I'd order a baker's dozen of those suckers.

The expression "There are no atheists in foxholes" refers to the religious epiphany often experienced after seeing how lovingly foxes care for their kits in their burrows.

Does patience come with maturity? Not necessarily, but maturity does come with patience.

It has gotten dark and I can't see any sunshine, but I'm holding out hope there are still some rainbows up there.

There are too many ongoing wars right now. We don't need to add a tug of war to that list.

Damn! Leave some for the rest of us!

The sky. Took a look earlier.

The average American does not know who Jimmy Carter is. They know Garfield is a lazy orange cat. They know Gordon Ramsey yells at food. They know Peter Griffin and Lois is his wife. Mrs. Clinton, your next campaign must not only reflect these realities, but actively seek to reinforce them.

Then we must keep him unawares before our plans have come to fruition.

This nephew of yours, can you vouch for him?

I personally would not have advised they go through with this current Iran operation as, in my educated opinion, it has all the makings of a boondoggle, but experts in my field are rarely consulted in times like these, often to disastrous results.

It's not all sunshine and rainbows. #truthnuke

The Decline and Fall of My Confidence on a Beautiful Sunday Afternoon.

Poor bastard. Little to no nutrition in those eyes.

(catching up on everything that happened during my social media break) Donald Trump is still alive?!

Your absence from my absence indirectly affected me profoundly.

And you would be right to do so if you could, but in this world justice is rarely swift.