Aims

I’m convinced ppl who say Taco Bell gives them the shits just don’t eat enough fiber

My partner has three co workers named John so the store addresses them by size. Whenever he says “lil John” I always shout “WHAT! ….OKAY!”

My in-law told me “I didn’t know who Bad Bunny was until the Super Bowl but I heard Trump hates him so that’s reason for me to like Bad Bunny.”

a woman is sitting on a couch and says ariel winter Alt: Gloria from Modern Family saying “I am turning into a white woman”

Having chicken noodle soup instead of congee while I’m sick

I read and finished A Little Life five years ago and I still think about how much I hated it. Every time I thought “Jude’s life couldn’t get any worse,” it got worse

After watching Physical Asia and Final Draft, Yoshio Itoi 100% earned his title as superhuman. His athleticism for being retired and his age is unreal. I want a bite outta him

Yes I’m introverted but the SECOND I hear One Direction anywhere, I will shout “ONE DIRECTION?!”

The chances of you shitting yourself increases as you age, right? Asking for myself

So many cute dresses and tops I see while shopping followed by a “too bad I don’t have the tits for it”

I finally bench pressed 135! 💪🤪

Idc how old I get, I’ll always shout “ICE CREAM!!” And chase after an ice cream truck

Can someone explain the reasoning behind men ALWAYS choosing the cable that is directly behind me when all of the others are open??

Idk man, I think it’s fucking lame that I need 4 plates on each side of the leg press machine to get the same amount of stimulus as back squatting 95 lbs 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thought I muted myself on the phone and let one rip..I wasn’t muted…

The tide is turning, change is in the air and I have hope again.

I’m curious, why do ppl who try to get back into reading books always start with non-fiction???

Another night of “what did I eat that’s giving me diarrhea?” 🫩

Bailey under the blanket

Bailey out of the blanket, staring at me

Was doing some work and heard shuffling going on behind me and saw that Bailey tucked herself in. She popped out to stare at me when I laughed a little too hard

Don’t come for my head but Katabasis by RF Kuang was a letdown. Such an interesting plot but the execution was not it. I did not think Hell could be so damn boring

What’s more embarrassing: Clapping when you think a performance has ended or saying goodbye to someone and walking in the same direction?

Why is there a popcorn button on a microwave if every bag of popcorn explicitly says “DO NOT USE POPCORN BUTTON ON MICROWAVE”

Is doing a mini bulk during winter worth having a temporary gut if it means I may be able to grow my glutes to get a tiny bit closer to 40 inches? Perhaps

If dragonfruit, cantaloupe, or honeydew are in your top 4 favorite fruits then I will side eye you. Literally 3 of the most flavorless fruit 🤨

I just wanna speak to the person in the costume department for TWD that chose to stop showing off Norman Reedus’ arms because how dare you

Quad pump- gym fit is in colors like Shaggy from Scooby Doo

Quad pump- gym fit is a pink oversized t shirt with black gym shorts

Focused on strength training for 3 years and now going for size & aesthetics. Unfortunately I feel like my quads will never be big enough 😔

After building my glutes from nothing, I would now be offended if someone accused me of getting a BBL. Don’t discredit my sweat, tears, and protein farts

I’m actually considering skipping the gym today because I’d rather eat grapes

Started listening to Small Great Things by Jodi Picoult and I’ve had to pause multiple times to calm myself down because of Turk. I can feel my BP rise during all of his chapters

I don’t trust ppl that go to restaurants just to order a caprese salad

a woman is holding her hands to her face and saying `` oh , i 'm like the crypt keeper '' . Alt: Jamie Lee Curtis in Freaky Friday shouting “Oh, I’m like the crypt keeper!”

I don’t understand the whole 6 7 thing. I’ve heard it explained so many times and I still don’t get why it’s so funny 😩 AM I….OLD?!