Spamton G. Spamton

[[You Know]] I WAS SMALL ONCE
THEN I [[Found]] THESE [[10 wacky steps]] TO MAKE IT BIG! [[Number]] [[Will surprise you!]]

[[Sign this petition to help ban the testing of harmful products on non-consenting]] SPAMTON SPAMTONS

[[Look, Ma, I’m on]] ALL AGES APPROPRIATE [[National Television!]]

DISGUSTING!
[[Absolute]]LY VILE BEHAVIOR

WHAT KIND OF [[Magic Trick]] IS THIS?? DOESN’t MATT3R, KID! I’VE READ EVERY [[Trick in the book]]! [[Vanishing Acts]], [[Card Tricks]], YOU NAME IT!

IT’S SO QUIET

JUST LIKE THAT [[Trash Heap]], CLINGING TO THE PAST FOR ANY GLIMPSE OF RELEVANCY

…I suppose I had a [[Struggling with Type 2 Diabetes?]]

[[Post removed by moderator for violating TOS]]

EVERYONE KNOWS g IS THE BEST LETTER IN THE [[Internet]]

FRAUDS! ALL OF YOU ARE [[Feeling Fraudulent?]]! TRY ALL YOU LIKE THEY CAN’T REPLACE ME! I’M A [[Once in a lifetime investment opportunity]]

YOU LEAVE FOR [[Three to Five Business Days]] AND SUDDENLY THE WHOLE WORLD MOVES ON WITHOUT YOU

[[No matter!]]

I’LL JUST GET BACK UP AND SHOW YOU ALL I’M STILL THE [[Number 1 Rated Salesman1997]]

[[We do not take responsibility for any negative side effects of our products, including but not limited to: nausea, fatigue, loss of appetite, partial or total amnesia, and heart failure.]]

I PREFER here TO [[Wasp or Hornet Infestation?]] ANYWAYS

THERE’S PLENTY OF [[Stuff]] AT SPAMTON G. SPAMTON’S [[Great Savings at]]!
AND IT’S ALL
[[Everything must go!]]

[[Mike]] LOOK AT ME NOW! I’M [[Back or Shoulder Pain?]] WITH ALL NEW CONTENT ON [[Your Favorite Streaming Services!]]
NO [[Buggy Game]] CAN KEEP ME DOWN FOR LONG

[[Silksong Tomorrow]]? [[SILKSONG TOMORROW]]??
WHY WOULD ANYONE CARE ABOUT THAT WHEN THEY COULD JUST GIVE [[Meee!!]] THEIR [[Kromer]] INSTEAD??

REAL BIGSHOTS BUY THEIR [[Automobiles New and Used]] FROM [[Number 1 Rated Salesman1997]]

DON’T BOTHER SELLING YOUR [[Soul]] WHEN IT’S IN SUCH [[LowDemand]]

PULL YOURSELF UP BY THE [[Silly Strings]]

BEHOLD!! THE SMOOTH TASTE OF [[Capitalism]]

I… need to go. Until next time.

I don’t like this feeling.

I’m afraid this is just how I look

I think that was ill-advised.

I think

I have to admit, it feels… nice, saying that and knowing I’ll still be here when next I start talking.

Good night, everyone.

I suppose you might have questions for me. I suppose I may be able to answer some of them when I wake up. So why don’t you ask them now, and when I’m a little more rested, I’ll see what answers I can give?

Nine days, for one night. It seems like a fair trade, doesn’t it? Not too much to ask. And in the morning, I might be in a better state to tell you all about what I’ve found.

Here’s what I think I’m going to do. I am in no state to be up and about right now, much less talking here. Whatever I’ve been dreaming of, it seems to have taken a toll. So, I think it’s fair to try and have one night of real sleep.

It’s been nine days. Quite a while to be asleep, if you ask me. Especially quite a while to be asleep and to still wake up exhausted. But still, I am awake enough to see. It’s been nine days. Why did I not realize sooner?