Scruff user: “Let’s fuck!”
Me: *having JUST demolished a pizza by myself*
Oh “Dry Spell” is my new national anthem. Kacey Musgraves 🥰
Awww happy birthday! I hope you have an amazing day today!
$300+ for a GA resale ticket for Zara Larsson? These fucking ticket scalpers need to be stopped.
Ew. Barefoot at the gym is diabolical
Just recently started playing Overwatch and these skin prices are CRAZY 😵💫😵
Me living my life of celibacy
Oh 👀
It’s on my list too!
We made it, y’all! 🌈
“Make it talk for me” 😩
I love when my therapist calls me on my bullshit.
Me
Got unmatched on Hinge after responding to someone’s voice chat with my fagcent
Now, why didn’t anyone let me know that those low-calorie tortillas have 12 g of fiber per tortilla? Two tortillas later and I’m ready to blast off into space 😭
I wanna go but those resale tickets are crazy expensive omg
🙋♂️ I’m just saying
I’m such a scaredy-cat 😅
The fucking pataday extra strength were like $35. WTF!?
Aww happy birthday, handsome! 🥰
Oh…👀
My god. Douched and prepped by 5:30am is wild.
Clocked my ass.
If I hear “I didn’t feel a romantic connection, but we had a great time/conversation and I’d love to be friends” one more time after a date…I’m going to have a mental fucking breakdown.
This is legit the tenth time in a row.
Good god 😬. The way that would send me into a spiral…
😍😍
Having just seen a candid photo of myself that I did not know was taken, I shall now be going into seclusion on a water and lettuce diet 😮💨
Let me just hibernate on my couch for the rest of this week. I need a vacation…
I’m drooling
