🌈🏳️‍⚧️🎀🇨🇭🇨🇦🇺🇦Reg🇺🇦🇨🇦🇨🇭🎀

He’s building to hide the Epstein files.

I have a bad hip because I’m stupid. Years bordering on obesity made it worse.

Given family history I’ve either got 25-30 years or *checks watch* left.

So, a net plus? Love it!!

Davey: “Time to go to the vet, Goliath.”

Goliath: “But Davey!!!! Last time you took me there they lopped m’balls off!!!”

D: “That’s what happens when you hump my baseball mitt, Goliath.”

G: “What happens when you get caught with a tube sock?”

This artery be a crime.

How long were you waiting to be coffin that one up?

I’d rather groom my privates with a cheese grater.

People are being abducted without warrants, denied due process and shipped to foreign countries for having a Latin sounding name.

Sit down, you’re it making the case you think you are.

Reichsfuhrer Schitzenpants has entered the area.

Make sure you have someone watching for concussion symptoms. They can sneak up on you.

Col. Deering didn’t know about the Starfury, and I was unworthy of her.

That’s why I’m not married to her anymore….she likes the Buck Roger’s Thunderfighter better.

I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life.

"I was married but I'm not married anymore. Women don't like the vehicle."

HERR DR. SCHMEGMA IS THE MOST CUTTING EDGE RESEARCH GENIUS IN THE SERVICE OF THE REICH!!! HE HAS THE FULL CONFIDENCE OD REICHSFUHRER SCHITZENPANTS!!!!

Only because I drive a truck and that’s where some of the freight goes. I avoid spending any money I don’t have to while there.

Thanks. Mom’s recovering. 2 surgeries in 4 months ain’t easy on an 83 year old, but she has her cats.

Sooooo…..anyone wanna make book on how long it takes Reichsfuhrer Schitzenpants to start talking about a pardon?

It took my best friend, tried for my mother (colon kidney), got my dad (liver), my mom’s brother (kidney, brain)…

The best live album.

I will die with my boots on on this hill.

It’s actually the dumbest of the dumbest bitches. The ones who are constantly dazed by the concept of chewing gum.

Wait!!! Could this be true (he asks with a sarcastic roll of the eyes)?