Newt

Pissing harder than the guy next to me at the urinals to establish dominance

Me at 25 watching Lilo & Stitch

Only real shitters in my circle

Why do football helmets have the little cages on them? Is it to keep them from kissing?

dont call yourself a gamer if you haven't played this

These little vagina cameltoe cereal are the best 🥰

handjobs should just be called beef jerkies

They call me sneeze cause my gazoon tight

This is an old family recipe

Santa better send me a freak

Imagine you're trying to find the clit and she starts making buzzer noises like in Operation when you miss

Selenite it is

what crystal do I need for a bitch to love me

hope my enemies know I’ve been drinking milk n growing big and strong

if we were both cows would u stand in a field & eat grass with me

Her bouncing on it like the pixar lamp would fix me

Did some wild things in my life but I never ordered a Fish Fillet from McDonald’s

Me when I wander off drunk

The broccoli watching me grab another bag of nuggets from the freezer

just masturbated to her bitmoji

For every man that won’t there is literally a guy (Me) who will eat your whole ass

Sober October? More like bender till December

When she catch you lickin the dried up residue off her dildo 🤦🏻‍♂️😩👊🏻💯

Just blocked everyone that doesnt have the juiciest ass so if u see this hey

So there i was. Fun dip dust on my balls

Let's get this bread

Talking stage? I already made a spot on the sidetable for ur vape

I'm healed. Bring me another narcissist

There are a few girls on here whom I'd bark for if they told me to ngl