holly 🪴

You know how I realized it’s been a while on here? My bio included that I loved Target trips.
I can’t even fathom going into that store now.

I keep forgetting to post on here.

Maybe this is also a reminder I should also be slightly more active on my LinkedIn.

For fellow confused millennials, a Gen Alpha guide:

-aura points= can be epic fail OR epic win

-brainrot= we had “I can haz cheesburger”

-sigma= “that’s hot” or “noice”

-mewing= remember how we posed for MySpace pics?

- “skibidi Ohio rizz”= NOT the same as saying “fo shizzle my nizzle”

Man, being the second flying facial hair commercial of the Super Bowl must be so
embarrassing…

Your annual reminder that Punxsutawney Phil can be considered an Appalachian cryptid.

I finished Onyx Storm.

10/10 will reread again, and will also yeet the book at the wall while screaming at the end again. (Photo evidence of damage below.)

Without context:
1. Ridoc was the best supporting character, we need a spinoff of him and Aotrom.
2. Where is Broccoli?!
3. “Worshipping” 🫠💀

It’s been at least three years, can we talk about Bruno now?

My son told me he has three girlfriends, and slammed his hand on a copy of my book saying “you are not allowed” when I asked questions.

I’m almost 30 years older than him and he has this much rizz?!

At 10:36pm EST and I was watching reviews of different cooking pans.

That’s when Thanos snapped his fingers, and TikTok went dark with this message.

This feels wicked dystopian.

Why is Over The Moon from RENT stuck in my head

Facts

Kiddo: What are you watching?

Husband: It’s a movie called Lincoln, about one of America’s greatest presidents.

Kiddo: Like Captain America?!

#KidLogic

Rereading ACOTAR because I need my comfort series in this chaotic starting year. What I forgot and now remember:
- Lucien and Tamlin are basically frat bros
- Lucien and Feyre once tripped an afternoon on hallucinogenic berries
- I can’t read Amren without imaging her as Kourtney Kardashian

I’ve decided it’s time to try something new.

My New Year’s resolution for 2025: serving cunt 💅🏻✨

Dear Santa,

This year for Christmas, I would like a Pegasus unicorn that also talks, and we could fly around together and be best friends.

I feel it’s more realistic than asking for my kid to magically stop talking about Skibidi toilets and referring to everything as Ohio.

What the world needs now is laughter, camaraderie, and belligerently surreal joy.

And that is why we as a society need Adam Driver and Eric André to do a buddy comedy.

Universe, get this to the right people and make it happen.

One of my 2025 resolution is to stop doing so much.

Although by making it two
weeks early, I’m already breaking it.

I can’t win.

Dragged my husband outside because I thought I saw a drone.

He figured out it was a really bright star.

Then we turned around and saw an actual drone over our backyard.

We’re in Taunton, MA.

🙃

In the span of 5 minutes during “bedtime,” my 6yo told me, while laughing maniacally:
- he’s a tiger
- my animal would be an elephant
- Daddy is a zookeeper
- the tiger needs a skibidi toilet, and something Ohio

I thought we millennials were resilient in the face of horror, but what the hell kid

Me, listening to “No One Mourns The Wicked,” at 6:48 in the song:

Raise your hand if you too, knew exactly what the Game of Thrones show-runners were thinking with Daenerys’ declining mental state in the last season, and now feel fully vindicated knowing that everyone else seems to now agree it makes sense given our current *everything* climate.

patrick star from spongebob is holding a microphone and saying " i wumbo you wumbo " ALT: patrick star from spongebob is holding a microphone and saying " i wumbo you wumbo "

Do I usually thrive under pressure and chaos? Yes.

Have I also gotten to the point I’ve just decided I’m going to embrace a Patrick Star-esque ethos to get through the next few weeks? Also yes.

If you need me for any reason, please wumbo responsibly.

Thoughts?

Spotify and Netflix, please, the gays are beginning you:

Upload the Chappell Roan & Sabrina Carpenter “Last Christmas” duet from the Nonsense Christmas Special.

This is what’s going to save the holidays. (Or at least, our sanities.)

According to Spotify I was also the 0.05% of listeners for Good Luck Babe.

I’m just surprised Spotify didn’t outwardly say this emitted “queer eldest daughter and recovering people pleaser” energy, but maybe it also knew I’d know that?🙃

#SpotifyWrapped

Podrick from GOT 🤝 Lorcan from TOG

Both doing something to a woman that was never explicitly said, but left us with a cliffhanger because it was implied they were *THAT* good

#ThroneOfGlass
#GameOfThrones

Since Canada is sovereign under the UK, I want King Charles to play an Uno reverse card and “joke” about taking all the New England states as a new collective province. (As long as he’s forgiven my state for the whole “tea in the harbor” thing.)

10 Shows to get to know me

1. The Good Place
2. Broad City
3. Disenchantment
4. The Golden Girls
5. Saturday Night Live
6. Schitts Creek
7. Bluey
8. M*A*S*H
9. Girls
10. Stranger Things

Just waiting for Spotify to roast me over how many times I listened to Good Luck Babe this year

To date, I’ve lost 75lbs since starting Mounjaro last summer. I’m the smallest I’ve been since I was 13, and I’ll be 36 in a few weeks (thanks, PCOS 🙃)

You know what they don’t tell you about losing all that weight?

How cold you’ll become - ALL THE TIME.
I feel like a sentient icicle.