Will Harris

[Scene is a kitchen - a middle aged woman called JANET is boiling peas at the stove. A younger more colourfully dressed woman named LIZ approached her.] JANET: Ugh... LIZ: What's up? JANET: I am so bored of cooking peas! LIZ: Have you tried... AI peas? JANET: AI peas? LIZ: They're peas with AI! [Liz holds up to us a packet of peas labelled: Pea-i AI - Peas with AI]. LIZ: Al-powered peas harness the potential of your peas JANET: What LIZ [Now a voiceover as we cut to a whizzy technology diagram of peas all connected by meaningless dotted lines] Why not take your peas to the next level with Al Peas' new Al tools to power your peas? [Show a techno diagram of a pea with a label reading 'AI' pointing to a random zone in it] LIZ: Each pea has Al in a way we haven't quite worked out yet but it's fine [Show Janet and Liz now in a Matrix-style world of peas] LIZ: With Al peas you can supercharge productivity and make AI work for your peas! JANET: What LIZ: Shut up LIZ: Our game-changing Pea-Al gives you the freedom to unlock the potential of the power of the future of your peas workflow From opening the bag of peas to boiling the peas to eating the peas To spending millions on adding Al to the peas and then having to work out what that even means. JANET: Is it really necessary to- LIZ [Grabbing Janet by the collar]: THE PEAS HAVE GOT AI, JANET [Cut to an advert ending screen, with the bag of peas and the slogan: AI PEAS: Just 'Peas' for god's sake buy the AI peas. [Ends]

Every ad now

Stones Leads Lines

Looking into a bookshop from the storefront window

The beautiful chaos of a used bookstore is unmatched.

Today he’d be identified as having PTSD as a consequence of watching his mates in his Pals Battalion choke to death. Then he was just seen as weak. Never met you Great Granddad but thinking of you and those like you.

Thinking of my great grandad today who was gassed on the Somme 1916. He survived and made it back to his tiny Welsh village, only to spend the reminder of his life struggling to get work due to alcoholism and being shunned by his family as he ‘couldn’t provide’

Utterly. We went into the Hall and watched it on ‘the big TV’ which probably for 400 kids was smaller than the one in our front room now at home

I think we did too.

NEW EPISODE: "Shay Not Given"

Featuring:
📈 Out of the title race already?
⚽ Halifax, Boreham Wood & Wealdstone reaction
🏆 Barnsley FA Cup preview

Listen now 👇
Spotify: spotify.link/nqcy41UKSXb
Apple: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/s...

📸 Tom Poole #ycfc

Congratulations to you both. Celebrating with pie?

Derwin Martina: York City release defender after playing one game for reserve team York City release newly signed defender Derwin Martina after playing just 81 minutes of reserve-team football.

Possibly yes, you’re right.

Although YCFC signed Derwin Martina to much fanfare who was announced as brother to Coco, currently in the Prem.

Turned out he wasn’t, we’d been told he was and hadn’t bothered to check.

Then this happened: www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba...

Ali Dia?

Pain
Lethargy
Aches
Gangrene
Unconsciouses
Expiration

- Mnemonic Plague.

The duchess continued to live beyond her means, employing a staff of seventeen that included a cook, driver, maid, butler, dresser, nanny, three secretaries, a personal assistant, lady-in- waiting, accountant and accountant's assistant, two gardeners, flower arranger and dog walker. An accountant brought in to cut costs asked one member of staff what he did, and received the reply: I pick up the dog shit.' 'And you?' he asked, pointing to the person beside him. 'I help him.'

Phenomenal detail on Sarah Ferguson's overspending from Andrew Lownie's 'Entitled'.

Death, Taxes, Wood Draws

Having now seen the DAZN footage:

What
A
Header

Hunt miss how?

If true, how the hell is Frankie and Bennys still in existence?

The Sexy Football

2025 AGM Results | York City Supporters Trust This year’s AGM was held at SPARK York on Thursday the 16th of October, 2024. The meeting included a Hustings event for 4 candidates to put themselves forward for the 4 positions available on the…

Election results from last night's Trust AGM: www.ycst.org.uk/2025-agm-res...

a group of men are standing in a room with their arms in the air and screaming . ALT: a group of men are standing in a room with their arms in the air and screaming .

Jenrick;

Oh it was all charming really, just lads joshing about.

What you got?

Fish, Cornish pasty, chips, curry sauce here

Chippy tea incoming. Feel the rush!

The Venn diagram we need to see

Don’t hate the player, hate the game

Smash cut to:

Antifa HQ

Man on phone

‘So that’s a Mr Tumble costume, a Thelma from Scooby-do outfit, a Sexy Santa and one of the dogs from Paw Patrol’

ICE tapping their phones:

*wilhelm scream*

251 Menlove Avenue
Liverpool
L25 7SA

One of the very few food things that is still as good as I remember as a kid in early 80’s is Sandwich Spread. Could and still can devour that stuff

We used to have them as kids. Memories of that with peas as a midweek tea. Bought one a few years back. Tasted of the cheapest pasty filling known to man combined with papier mache and pet kibble. Disappointment Street.

The Football Kickback: He Walks on Water Ange and Nottingham Forest, Harry Kane, and Jack Grealish's pursuit of happiness all feature on this week's Football Kickback.

Hear ye, hear ye, this week's podcast is upon us. Jack Grealish, Evangelos Marinakis, Harry Kane, and my decision to be relentlessly selfish all feature in this week's Football Kickback.

unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/the-footba...

It is!