Elaine Nicholls NVR

They're doing it for attention! "They're just doing it for attention."Thankfully this isn't something I come across often, even with parents stretched thin. More often I hear parents say "You wouldn't believe the amount of attention...

They're doing it for attention!

#nvr #nonviolentresistance #growthmindset #adoption #fostering #kinship #parenting #parentingtrauma #developmentaltrauma #trauma #attentionseeking #attentionneeding #adhd #autism #fasd #momguilt

www.elainenichollsnvr.com/post/they-re-doing-it-for-attention

The day you plant the seed “The day you plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruit.”This is an interesting one that’s going to land differently depending on what’s going on for us.When we’ve been showing up, pouring in lov...

Therapeutic parenting - the day you plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruit

#therapeuticparenting #trauma #traumainformed #parenting #nvr #nonviolentresistance #parenting #secondarytrauma #compassionfatigue #burnout

www.elainenichollsnvr.com/post/the-day-you-plant-the-seed

Don't believe everything you think “Don’t believe everything you think.”This little quote, on a pin badge my other half bought me for Christmas, has been sitting with me today.It’s a powerful reminder that some thoughts we have don’t d...

Don't believe everything you think - your brain gets it wrong sometimes.
A blog - 1 minute read

#acceptancecommitmenttherapy #act #cognitivebehaviouraltherapy #cbt #thoughts #reframing #metacognition #williamjames

www.elainenichollsnvr.com/post/don-t-believe

I don't like who I become I had a conversation with a parent this week they said “I don’t like who I become when my child pushes me to my limits?”It got me thinking - we are all that person. And if you think you’re not, you ar...

I don't like who I am when my child pushes me to my limits
A blog - 1 min read

#secondarytrauma #burnout #blockedcare #survivalmode #parenting #adoption #fostering #kinship #trauma #developmentaltrauma #attachment #attachmentdisorder #fasd #autism #adhd

www.elainenichollsnvr.com/post/who-i-become

I don't like who I become I had a conversation with a parent this week they said “I don’t like who I become when my child pushes me to my limits?”It got me thinking - we are all that person. And if you think you’re not, you ar...

I don't like who I am when my child pushes me to my limits
A blog - 1 min read

#secondarytrauma #burnout #blockedcare #survivalmode #parenting #adoption #fostering #kinship #trauma #developmentaltrauma #attachment #attachmentdisorder #fasd #autism #adhd

www.elainenichollsnvr.com/post/who-i-become

Don't believe everything you think “Don’t believe everything you think.”This little quote, on a pin badge my other half bought me for Christmas, has been sitting with me today.It’s a powerful reminder that some thoughts we have don’t d...

Don't believe everything you think - your brain gets it wrong sometimes.
A blog - 1 minute read

#acceptancecommitmenttherapy #act #cognitivebehaviouraltherapy #cbt #thoughts #reframing #metacognition #williamjames

www.elainenichollsnvr.com/post/don-t-believe

Into pastures new It’s been a bumpy ride over the past few months. My girls lost their mum unexpectedly late last year. There’s this idea that children who don’t grow up with their parents aren’t impacted, or are less ...

It's been a bumpy road - into pastures new
A blog - 2 minute read

#adoption #grief #loss #birthparent #birthmum #birthfamily #birthparentloss #birhfamilycontact #nvr #nonviolentresistance #parentingteens #parentingadoptedadults

www.elainenichollsnvr.com/post/into-pastures-new

Vigilant care I was talking to a friend yesterday - an adopter and fellow NVR practitioner. I can’t tag her because she doesn’t have a page.The conversation was around how we often don’t know what we’re dealing wit...

Therapeutic parenting - stepping in and stepping back during the teenage years
A blog - 3 minute read

#nvr #nonviolentresistance #vigilantcare #therapeuticparenting #parenting #teenagers #parentingteenagers #cse #grooming #gangs #onlinesafety

www.elainenichollsnvr.com/post/vigilant-care

Courageous parenting Happy New Year from one courageous parent to another.This year, I’ve seen so much quiet courage - tough decisions that needed to be made, hard conversations that needed to be had, limits that needed t...

Happy new year from one courageous parent to another
A blog - 1 minute read

#happynewyear #parenting #therapeuticparenting #nvr #nonviolentresistance #cpva #teenagers #boundaries #connection #anchor

www.elainenichollsnvr.com/post/courageous-parenting

Clear is kind “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind” – Brene BrownThis quote comes to mind often, because it’s so true - for our young people but also for us adults. We all feel safer when our environments and the peop...

Clear is kind - holding boundaries compassionately and making space for the emotions

#nvr #nonviolentresistance #parenting #teenagers #therapeuticparenting #boundaries #communication #compassion #connection #brenebrown #cleariskind

www.elainenichollsnvr.com/post/clear-is-kind

Clear is kind “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind” – Brene BrownThis quote comes to mind often, because it’s so true - for our young people but also for us adults. We all feel safer when our environments and the peop...

Clear is kind - holding boundaries compassionately and making space for the emotions

#nvr #nonviolentresistance #parenting #teenagers #therapeuticparenting #boundaries #communication #compassion #connection #brenebrown #cleariskind

www.elainenichollsnvr.com/post/clear-is-kind

How was your Christmas? How was your Christmas?I’m not sure that a drama-free Christmas is possible for families raising children with significant early trauma. Because trauma isn’t something that lives in the past. When the...

How was your christmas as an adopter, foster parent, or kinship carer?

#christmas #trauma #adoption #fostering #fostercare #kinship #therapeuticparenting

www.elainenichollsnvr.com/post/how-was-your-christmas

A photograph of the heroic Gisele. A survivor and fearless champion of women.

“When you’re raped there is shame, and it’s not for us to have shame, it’s for them. It’s true that I hear lots of women, and men, who say you’re very brave. I say it’s not bravery, it’s a will and determination to change society”

- Gisèle.

What a woman.

A Trauma-informed Christmas As we get ready for the magic of Christmas, here’s a helpful list for mums and dads - a reminder that the joyful season isn’t always so joyful for children who’ve had a lot of disruption in their litt...

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas - how can we create a trauma-informed Christmas
A blog - 4 minute read

#trauma #traumainformed #christmas #santa #elfontheshelf #sensory #anxiety #meltdowns #feltsafety #growthmindset #adhd #fasd #autism

elainenichollsnvr.com/post/christmas-24

I am planning to send positive emails to my boys' schools tomorrow, along with a message of gratitude to the LA transportation service for the care shown by the bus teams.

I recognise that not every parent may feel able to send positive feedback based on their experiences, but I can, and I should.

Legislation breaks down barriers to opportunity for all children Children's Wellbeing and Schools Bill introduced to Parliament today, putting children’s interests at the heart of government policy.

And this is what a govt who places children at the centre looks like.

www.gov.uk/government/n...?

Managing challenging behaviour with children in kinship care workshop: London Join this free in-person workshop to learn about how to respond to challenging behaviour displayed by children in kinship care.

Managing challenging behaviour with children in kinship care workshop: London
7th Jan Free

Christmas shout out to teachers A Christmas shout out to teachers.One of the inadequate tools that teachers are trying to work with is school behaviour policies.Had a great discussion with a group of early help workers last week. We were talking about the policy of giving out behaviour points for children who haven’t got a pen. Without being curious about why they don’t what they need for the day. Are things at home so chaotic or difficult that there’s no headspace to remember a pen for school? Is that the reason? Does the chi

Christmas shout out to teachers
A blog - 1 minute read

#christmas #teachers #schools #education #nvr #nonviolentresistance #presence #kindness #compassion #behaviour #behaviourmanagement #behaviourpolicy

elainenichollsnvr.com/post/christmas-shout-out

Christmas shout out to teachers A Christmas shout out to teachers.One of the inadequate tools that teachers are trying to work with is school behaviour policies.Had a great discussion with a group of early help workers last week. We were talking about the policy of giving out behaviour points for children who haven’t got a pen. Without being curious about why they don’t what they need for the day. Are things at home so chaotic or difficult that there’s no headspace to remember a pen for school? Is that the reason? Does the chi

Christmas shout out to teachers
A blog - 1 minute read

#christmas #teachers #schools #education #nvr #nonviolentresistance #presence #kindness #compassion #behaviour #behaviourmanagement #behaviourpolicy

elainenichollsnvr.com/post/christmas-shout-out

Grief and Loss at Christmas... A reminder that children who are grieving continue to grieve over Christmas. Adults too. In our home, Christmas needs to be a quiet and restful time - respectful of the loss and grief that comes with and out of adoption. Pretty lights and gentle Christmas carols. Nice food. Family connection. Honouring needs and self care for children and adults alike.What does Christmas look like in your house?

Grief and loss at Christmas - adoption, fostering, and kinship
A blog - 1 minute read

#grief #loss #disenfranchisedgrief #ambiguousloss #christmas #adoption #fostering #kinship

elainenichollsnvr.com/post/grief-at-christmas

Your old self has no say We all make mistakes as parents. We all have regrets. We all feel shame sometimes.Give yourself permission to move on from the parent you were yesterday. In NVR the past is in the past. Mistakes is ho...

Your old self has no say in who you are now
A blog - 1 minute read

#nvr #nonviolentresistance #parenting #therapeuticparenting #goodenoughparenting #trauma #traumainformed #adoption #fostering #kinship #challengingbehaviour #cpv #cpva

elainenichollsnvr.com/post/your-old-self

Children who need love the most... Parenting is hard. Really hard. Therapeutic parenting is beyond hard. In all the therapeutic parenting advice (specific to trauma/autism/ADHD/FASD etc), one thing that’s often neglected is the small i...

Children who need love the most
A blog - 2 minute read

#nvr #nonviolentresistance #therapeuticparenting
#attachment #trauma #autism #adhd #fasd #traumainformed #cpv #cpva #corebeliefs #russellbarkley

elainenichollsnvr.com/post/children-who-need-love-the-most

It's tricky with vulnerable adults isn't it - validating and protective/supportive. Sounds like you've got a handle on it. It does make you think about those vulnerable folk out there without a wise and supportive person in their corner.

That’s a very good point. Did you read the news stories. We really do need to get ahead of the game with the potential risks.

What makes it so difficult to change our parenting behaviour? Neuroplasticity - a 1 minute read blog

#parenting #gentleparenting #nvr #nonviolentresistance #neuroplasticity #change

elainenichollsnvr.com/post/neuroplasticity

Does your child have an AI friend? Content warning - suicide.Having recently discovered and started to engage in the world of AI, I'm impressed. Chat GPT and Copilot are transforming my work and personal life in small but significant ways. But there is a dark side. A recent news story talks about the experience of a 29 year old student. He was asking an AI platform for help and received an abusive response. www.cbsnews.com/news/google-ai-chatbot-threatening-message-human-please-die/In another news story, a parent is suing an AI c

AI is here to stay and there's a dark side - especially where our children are concerned. Does your child have AI friends?
A 2 minute read blog.

#ai #aifriends #smartphones #onlinesafety #teenagers #parenting #nvr #nonviolentresistance #cathknibbs

elainenichollsnvr.com/post/ai-friends

French horn https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-59312659?fbclid=IwAR3ZrEE9c8SDniGR10ligXgRdeeaxia3pAP9FnCUtbO_xtCIiLG75bgKxy4 What do you see in the pict...

People ask Felix is it difficult to play the horn with his feet, he replies, “I don’t know, I’ve never played it with my hands” schools can use this assembly to explore attitudes towards disability and reinforce our inclusive ethos #nooutsiders ks1no-outsiders-assembly.blogspot.com/2024/12/fren...

#Conversations Podcast An adoption blog following a adoptive father's story and process Adoption Dad and his adoptive family

Conversations - Foster Carers Mobeena and Wajid

#Fostercare #FosteringPodcast

I love a picture advent calendar. Today I got a Christmas tree. Excited for tomorrow. 🎄 🔔
#christmas #advent #adventcalwndar #christmastree #brianbilston