Martha Kelly

Martha Kelly

@marthakelly.bsky.social

You might know me from stand up, Baskets, Euphoria, or calling people cunts on Twitter. Sorry.

6,181 Followers 172 Following 525 Posts Joined Jul 2023
18 hours ago
Preview
The U.S. Built a Blueprint to Avoid Civilian War Casualties. Trump Officials Scrapped It. The Pentagon dismantled its civilian protection mission as Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth made “lethality” a top priority and the Trump administration reorganized national security around two principl...

Here’s the reason the United States bombed the Children’s school in Iran.

And yes, it’s Trumps fault.

www.propublica.org/article/trum...

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1 day ago

They convinced not just Acosta but tons of the most powerful and successful civilians in the country that Epstein was just a hapless john who was being persecuted by a crazy female AUSA for the victimless crime of prostitution with wicked girls who just happened to be underage.

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2 days ago

Every day the economic experts get up and are like “we think today is the day the racists will use logic”

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4 days ago
Preview
Ruben Ray Martinez: Footage shows US citizen shot by ICE agent in Texas traffic stop The Department of Homeland Security did not disclose Martinez was shot by one of its agents until almost a year later.

Newly released footage shows an ICE agent killing Rubin Ray Martinez, 23, in his car in Texas.

"He was shot at point-blank range through his side window by an ICE agent who was in no danger."
www.bbc.com/news/article...

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5 days ago

I think they might have better luck spending two thousand dollars holding a press conference where they detail who made the key decisions to collaborate with the Trump administration, how and when they were fired, and explaining what would stop that from happening again.

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5 days ago

"I just wanted to call me co-worker a 'pussy', I didn't want this..."

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5 days ago

Even if it takes years, we have to bring EVERYONE who made this happen to justice. No moving on, no letting this go.

Revenge is good enough motivation for me personally, but the nobler and important reason is to ensure that anyone who thinks of doing this again knows they’ll rot in prison for it.

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6 days ago

Let me be clear: I’m glad Kristi Noem was fired. But we still have to abolish ICE.

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6 days ago

it is kinda wild to me how most Republicans in Congress almost got themselves lynched running their mouths about 2020, and proceeded to forget all about it roughly 3 hours later

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6 days ago

Rest now, Kristi. We have the watch. I'll see you at CPAC Tallahassee

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1 week ago
ICE Agent Injured After Repeatedly Trying To Detain People In Neighborhood Mural

ICE Agent Injured After Repeatedly Trying To Detain People In Neighborhood Mural https://theonion.com/ice-agent-injured-after-repeatedly-trying-to-detain-people-in-neighborhood-mural/

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1 week ago
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Trump Live Updates: DHS Secretary Kristi Noem Testifies for Second Day

Breaking News: Lawmakers voted to subpoena Attorney General Pam Bondi to testify about the investigation of Jeffrey Epstein. The vote, 24 to 19 with five Republicans joining all Democrats, marked a rare case of a Republican-led panel compelling a member of the president’s cabinet to testify.

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1 week ago

anti-trans Dems ate shit last night

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2 weeks ago
orange cat looking offended

whenever he is sitting around looking upset we've started calling him "Upsetti Spaghetti, the Italian cat" and i'm pretty sure it just makes him madder

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1 week ago

of the two articles currently circulating about Sheri’s Ranch which feature Jupiter Jetson, this one is way more worth your time. there is a fascinating and important story in the unfolding workers’ rights movement in Nevada’s legal brothels that will resonate with anyone who’s been a contractor

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1 week ago

don’t wait until the last minute

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1 week ago

Oops I did it again (got tangled in my neighbor’s wind chimes)

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1 week ago

This obviously very stupid but is it also smart? We’ll talk to some liars after this break.

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1 week ago
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NEW: Four federal judges have formed a firewall against ICE in West Virginia — and say they’ll punish state and federal officials of they continue detaining people in ways they have ruled illegal and unconstitutional.

www.politico.com/news/2026/03...

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1 week ago

This reminds me of that Frankie Boyle joke about how Americans not only come to your country and kill your people, they also come back twenty years later to make a movie about how killing your people made their soldiers sad.

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1 week ago
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We Support Protesting Against Any Authoritarian Government Except Our Own “President Trump called on Iranians on Tuesday to keep protesting against their government and warned that those responsible for killing demonstrat...

"No peaceful demonstrator should ever be killed for standing up to their government. Unless, of course, they’re a suburban mom in an SUV that’s driving away from law enforcement."

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1 week ago

things every single republican president of your lifetime has done

- started a war in the middle east
- completely destroyed the economy

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2 weeks ago
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2 weeks ago

As of tonight, licenses of trans people across Kansas are being invalidated en masse, enabling the overnight criminalization of an entire group of people for going about our lives. It’s often said you never know when you’re living through history, so let me assure you: that’s what’s happening now.

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2 weeks ago
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Kansas Sends Letters To Trans People Demanding The Immediate Surrender Of Drivers Licenses "The legislature did not include a grace period."

This is bigotry, pure and simple.

open.substack.com/pub/erininth...

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2 weeks ago

Seems to me like we ought to be centering Black disabled folks right now, from the BAFTAs to Newsom's remarks...

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2 weeks ago

they are willing to spend billions of dollars to round up people illegally rather than make it legal to pay people to live and exist normally

that's how evil this administration is

always remember that

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2 weeks ago
SAM ALTMAN: What no one understands is that no one at the beach can stop you from scooping up as many shells as you want. An endless well of seashells for the taking.

INTERVIEWER: Mhm.

ALTMAN: Look I have a bunch in my pocket right here.

INTERVIEWER: Wow that's incredible. And they're all already crushed up too. ALTMAN: Yes well I crushed them. They didn't start crushed. I took them home and then I crushed them.

INTERVIEWER: Mhm. Mhm.

ALTMAN: You can eat them. I eat them everyday. That's why I crush them. Here have a taste.

INTERVIEWER: Wow these are great. It feels like eating teeth.

ALTMAN: Right? Human teeth. Isn't it incredible? I died in 2023.

Extremely revealing details in this interview

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2 weeks ago
Another sighting of the Loch Ness dog

Another sighting of the Loch Ness dog

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2 weeks ago
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Exclusive | OpenAI Employees Raised Alarms About Canada Shooting Suspect Months Ago The ChatGPT maker opted against informing Canadian authorities about Jesse Van Rootselaar’s descriptions of violence last June.

OpenAI employees pushed for the company to inform Canadian police about a user they thought would engage in real-world violence months before the person did just that, killing eight people in a horrific attack in Tumbler Ridge.

The company only reached out to police after the shooting had occurred.

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