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Martha Kelly

@marthakelly.bsky.social

You might know me from stand up, Baskets, Euphoria, or calling people cunts on Twitter. Sorry.

6,178 Followers  |  172 Following  |  525 Posts  |  Joined: 03.07.2023
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Posts by Martha Kelly (@marthakelly.bsky.social)

ICE Agent Injured After Repeatedly Trying To Detain People In Neighborhood Mural

ICE Agent Injured After Repeatedly Trying To Detain People In Neighborhood Mural

ICE Agent Injured After Repeatedly Trying To Detain People In Neighborhood Mural https://theonion.com/ice-agent-injured-after-repeatedly-trying-to-detain-people-in-neighborhood-mural/

04.03.2026 21:00 β€” πŸ‘ 1664    πŸ” 240    πŸ’¬ 17    πŸ“Œ 5
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Trump Live Updates: DHS Secretary Kristi Noem Testifies for Second Day

Breaking News: Lawmakers voted to subpoena Attorney General Pam Bondi to testify about the investigation of Jeffrey Epstein. The vote, 24 to 19 with five Republicans joining all Democrats, marked a rare case of a Republican-led panel compelling a member of the president’s cabinet to testify.

04.03.2026 21:15 β€” πŸ‘ 409    πŸ” 81    πŸ’¬ 30    πŸ“Œ 13

anti-trans Dems ate shit last night

04.03.2026 12:01 β€” πŸ‘ 6831    πŸ” 938    πŸ’¬ 51    πŸ“Œ 152
orange cat looking offended

orange cat looking offended

whenever he is sitting around looking upset we've started calling him "Upsetti Spaghetti, the Italian cat" and i'm pretty sure it just makes him madder

23.02.2026 16:48 β€” πŸ‘ 3290    πŸ” 297    πŸ’¬ 60    πŸ“Œ 13

of the two articles currently circulating about Sheri’s Ranch which feature Jupiter Jetson, this one is way more worth your time. there is a fascinating and important story in the unfolding workers’ rights movement in Nevada’s legal brothels that will resonate with anyone who’s been a contractor

26.02.2026 18:55 β€” πŸ‘ 1649    πŸ” 583    πŸ’¬ 4    πŸ“Œ 0

don’t wait until the last minute

04.03.2026 17:49 β€” πŸ‘ 52    πŸ” 28    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

Oops I did it again (got tangled in my neighbor’s wind chimes)

04.03.2026 04:33 β€” πŸ‘ 145    πŸ” 24    πŸ’¬ 4    πŸ“Œ 2

This obviously very stupid but is it also smart? We’ll talk to some liars after this break.

01.03.2026 00:23 β€” πŸ‘ 4169    πŸ” 741    πŸ’¬ 10    πŸ“Œ 13
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NEW: Four federal judges have formed a firewall against ICE in West Virginia β€” and say they’ll punish state and federal officials of they continue detaining people in ways they have ruled illegal and unconstitutional.

www.politico.com/news/2026/03...

01.03.2026 12:44 β€” πŸ‘ 8745    πŸ” 2594    πŸ’¬ 123    πŸ“Œ 121

This reminds me of that Frankie Boyle joke about how Americans not only come to your country and kill your people, they also come back twenty years later to make a movie about how killing your people made their soldiers sad.

01.03.2026 05:21 β€” πŸ‘ 5257    πŸ” 1284    πŸ’¬ 24    πŸ“Œ 12
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We Support Protesting Against Any Authoritarian Government Except Our Own β€œPresident Trump called on Iranians on Tuesday to keep protesting against their government and warned that those responsible for killing demonstrat...

"No peaceful demonstrator should ever be killed for standing up to their government. Unless, of course, they’re a suburban mom in an SUV that’s driving away from law enforcement."

28.02.2026 14:45 β€” πŸ‘ 311    πŸ” 86    πŸ’¬ 3    πŸ“Œ 4

things every single republican president of your lifetime has done

- started a war in the middle east
- completely destroyed the economy

28.02.2026 14:20 β€” πŸ‘ 25671    πŸ” 8709    πŸ’¬ 277    πŸ“Œ 319
26.02.2026 01:47 β€” πŸ‘ 118    πŸ” 8    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

As of tonight, licenses of trans people across Kansas are being invalidated en masse, enabling the overnight criminalization of an entire group of people for going about our lives. It’s often said you never know when you’re living through history, so let me assure you: that’s what’s happening now.

26.02.2026 01:30 β€” πŸ‘ 10822    πŸ” 5238    πŸ’¬ 86    πŸ“Œ 338
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Kansas Sends Letters To Trans People Demanding The Immediate Surrender Of Drivers Licenses "The legislature did not include a grace period."

This is bigotry, pure and simple.

open.substack.com/pub/erininth...

26.02.2026 01:22 β€” πŸ‘ 3950    πŸ” 1161    πŸ’¬ 145    πŸ“Œ 147

Seems to me like we ought to be centering Black disabled folks right now, from the BAFTAs to Newsom's remarks...

23.02.2026 15:44 β€” πŸ‘ 125    πŸ” 16    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

they are willing to spend billions of dollars to round up people illegally rather than make it legal to pay people to live and exist normally

that's how evil this administration is

always remember that

22.02.2026 17:58 β€” πŸ‘ 60    πŸ” 13    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0
SAM ALTMAN: What no one understands is that no one at the beach can stop you from scooping up as many shells as you want. An endless well of seashells for the taking.

INTERVIEWER: Mhm.

ALTMAN: Look I have a bunch in my pocket right here.

INTERVIEWER: Wow that's incredible. And they're all already crushed up too.

SAM ALTMAN: What no one understands is that no one at the beach can stop you from scooping up as many shells as you want. An endless well of seashells for the taking. INTERVIEWER: Mhm. ALTMAN: Look I have a bunch in my pocket right here. INTERVIEWER: Wow that's incredible. And they're all already crushed up too.

ALTMAN: Yes well I crushed them. They didn't start crushed. I took them home and then I crushed them.

INTERVIEWER: Mhm. Mhm.

ALTMAN: You can eat them. I eat them everyday. That's why I crush them. Here have a taste.

INTERVIEWER: Wow these are great. It feels like eating teeth.

ALTMAN: Right? Human teeth. Isn't it incredible? I died in 2023.

ALTMAN: Yes well I crushed them. They didn't start crushed. I took them home and then I crushed them. INTERVIEWER: Mhm. Mhm. ALTMAN: You can eat them. I eat them everyday. That's why I crush them. Here have a taste. INTERVIEWER: Wow these are great. It feels like eating teeth. ALTMAN: Right? Human teeth. Isn't it incredible? I died in 2023.

Extremely revealing details in this interview

22.02.2026 17:27 β€” πŸ‘ 2068    πŸ” 305    πŸ’¬ 48    πŸ“Œ 9
Another sighting of the Loch Ness dog

Another sighting of the Loch Ness dog

Another sighting of the Loch Ness dog

19.02.2026 23:13 β€” πŸ‘ 512    πŸ” 82    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 2
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Exclusive | OpenAI Employees Raised Alarms About Canada Shooting Suspect Months Ago The ChatGPT maker opted against informing Canadian authorities about Jesse Van Rootselaar’s descriptions of violence last June.

OpenAI employees pushed for the company to inform Canadian police about a user they thought would engage in real-world violence months before the person did just that, killing eight people in a horrific attack in Tumbler Ridge.

The company only reached out to police after the shooting had occurred.

22.02.2026 02:18 β€” πŸ‘ 908    πŸ” 393    πŸ’¬ 6    πŸ“Œ 61
Raygun

Raygun

Winter Olympics end tomorrow, only 2 years until Summer Olympics!

22.02.2026 03:10 β€” πŸ‘ 29    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 2    πŸ“Œ 0
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DoJ cases against protesters keep collapsing as officers’ lies are exposed in court String of embarrassing defeats for prosecutors as experts condemn DoJ effort to cast people as β€˜violent perpetrators’

A MN protester accused of assaulting ICE officer had case dropped after vids showed no assault.

LA protester accused of assaulting ICE w/ β€œhat” had case dropped; judge said govt acted in β€œbad faith”

In Chicago, 92 ppl were arrested for assault/impeding ICE; 0 convicted

DOJ keeps lying and losing:

21.02.2026 21:22 β€” πŸ‘ 5888    πŸ” 2146    πŸ’¬ 117    πŸ“Œ 107

Emerald Fennell think she Sofia Coppola, Sofia Coppola think she Francis Ford Coppola, Francis Ford Coppola think he the Hamburglar

21.02.2026 03:00 β€” πŸ‘ 1926    πŸ” 270    πŸ’¬ 4    πŸ“Œ 16
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Diva! Conspiracy Girlies! (w. Karen Kilgariff + Martha Kelly) Podcast Episode Β· Brief Recess: A Legal Podcast with Michael Foote & MΓ©lissa Malebranche Β· 02/19/2026 Β· 1h 12m

podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/d...

19.02.2026 17:05 β€” πŸ‘ 10    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 1
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notorious radical left communist rag says tax the rich

18.02.2026 16:03 β€” πŸ‘ 20527    πŸ” 6597    πŸ’¬ 468    πŸ“Œ 456

She does rip them up now. It was just the first few days after getting out of the shelter that she rallied her stuffed frens for support πŸ’—

16.02.2026 19:05 β€” πŸ‘ 3    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0
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This was right after I got Macey in 2023. I had a large crate in the living room that I left open. She systematically got each stuffed toy out of a basket and brought it into the crate over the next few days.

16.02.2026 18:16 β€” πŸ‘ 48    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 3    πŸ“Œ 0

Me as a child: it must be very hard to become a CEO and be very hard work once you get the job

Guy obviously on drugs speaking at a conference: the next five years of the economy should be about a dream I had where a dog spoke to me

16.02.2026 13:58 β€” πŸ‘ 5414    πŸ” 955    πŸ’¬ 52    πŸ“Œ 27
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What the Royal Family’s Links to Slavery Mean in the Age of Epstein Just as the former Prince Andrew will always be royal, so will the trafficking of African people.

I’m honored that The New Yorker has published a feature on my book by @samknightwrites.bsky.social examining the monarchy’s historical entanglement with slavery β€” and how patterns of exploitation and institutional silence echo into the present.
Read here: www.newyorker.com/news/letter-...

16.02.2026 11:51 β€” πŸ‘ 131    πŸ” 52    πŸ’¬ 7    πŸ“Œ 5

ICE using the same ruse that Ted Bundy used to kidnap people should tell you something.

15.02.2026 01:51 β€” πŸ‘ 21084    πŸ” 8165    πŸ’¬ 373    πŸ“Œ 166