Martha Kelly's Avatar

Martha Kelly

@marthakelly.bsky.social

You might know me from stand up, Baskets, Euphoria, or calling people cunts on Twitter. Sorry.

6,177 Followers  |  172 Following  |  525 Posts  |  Joined: 03.07.2023
Posts Following

Posts by Martha Kelly (@marthakelly.bsky.social)

This obviously very stupid but is it also smart? We’ll talk to some liars after this break.

01.03.2026 00:23 β€” πŸ‘ 3767    πŸ” 657    πŸ’¬ 9    πŸ“Œ 11
Post image

NEW: Four federal judges have formed a firewall against ICE in West Virginia β€” and say they’ll punish state and federal officials of they continue detaining people in ways they have ruled illegal and unconstitutional.

www.politico.com/news/2026/03...

01.03.2026 12:44 β€” πŸ‘ 6792    πŸ” 2087    πŸ’¬ 107    πŸ“Œ 103

This reminds me of that Frankie Boyle joke about how Americans not only come to your country and kill your people, they also come back twenty years later to make a movie about how killing your people made their soldiers sad.

01.03.2026 05:21 β€” πŸ‘ 4069    πŸ” 1023    πŸ’¬ 19    πŸ“Œ 12
Preview
We Support Protesting Against Any Authoritarian Government Except Our Own β€œPresident Trump called on Iranians on Tuesday to keep protesting against their government and warned that those responsible for killing demonstrat...

"No peaceful demonstrator should ever be killed for standing up to their government. Unless, of course, they’re a suburban mom in an SUV that’s driving away from law enforcement."

28.02.2026 14:45 β€” πŸ‘ 218    πŸ” 57    πŸ’¬ 3    πŸ“Œ 3

things every single republican president of your lifetime has done

- started a war in the middle east
- completely destroyed the economy

28.02.2026 14:20 β€” πŸ‘ 24568    πŸ” 8359    πŸ’¬ 264    πŸ“Œ 302
26.02.2026 01:47 β€” πŸ‘ 118    πŸ” 8    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

As of tonight, licenses of trans people across Kansas are being invalidated en masse, enabling the overnight criminalization of an entire group of people for going about our lives. It’s often said you never know when you’re living through history, so let me assure you: that’s what’s happening now.

26.02.2026 01:30 β€” πŸ‘ 10795    πŸ” 5220    πŸ’¬ 86    πŸ“Œ 339
Preview
Kansas Sends Letters To Trans People Demanding The Immediate Surrender Of Drivers Licenses "The legislature did not include a grace period."

This is bigotry, pure and simple.

open.substack.com/pub/erininth...

26.02.2026 01:22 β€” πŸ‘ 3938    πŸ” 1160    πŸ’¬ 145    πŸ“Œ 146

Seems to me like we ought to be centering Black disabled folks right now, from the BAFTAs to Newsom's remarks...

23.02.2026 15:44 β€” πŸ‘ 125    πŸ” 16    πŸ’¬ 0    πŸ“Œ 0

they are willing to spend billions of dollars to round up people illegally rather than make it legal to pay people to live and exist normally

that's how evil this administration is

always remember that

22.02.2026 17:58 β€” πŸ‘ 59    πŸ” 13    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0
SAM ALTMAN: What no one understands is that no one at the beach can stop you from scooping up as many shells as you want. An endless well of seashells for the taking.

INTERVIEWER: Mhm.

ALTMAN: Look I have a bunch in my pocket right here.

INTERVIEWER: Wow that's incredible. And they're all already crushed up too.

SAM ALTMAN: What no one understands is that no one at the beach can stop you from scooping up as many shells as you want. An endless well of seashells for the taking. INTERVIEWER: Mhm. ALTMAN: Look I have a bunch in my pocket right here. INTERVIEWER: Wow that's incredible. And they're all already crushed up too.

ALTMAN: Yes well I crushed them. They didn't start crushed. I took them home and then I crushed them.

INTERVIEWER: Mhm. Mhm.

ALTMAN: You can eat them. I eat them everyday. That's why I crush them. Here have a taste.

INTERVIEWER: Wow these are great. It feels like eating teeth.

ALTMAN: Right? Human teeth. Isn't it incredible? I died in 2023.

ALTMAN: Yes well I crushed them. They didn't start crushed. I took them home and then I crushed them. INTERVIEWER: Mhm. Mhm. ALTMAN: You can eat them. I eat them everyday. That's why I crush them. Here have a taste. INTERVIEWER: Wow these are great. It feels like eating teeth. ALTMAN: Right? Human teeth. Isn't it incredible? I died in 2023.

Extremely revealing details in this interview

22.02.2026 17:27 β€” πŸ‘ 2070    πŸ” 305    πŸ’¬ 48    πŸ“Œ 9
Another sighting of the Loch Ness dog

Another sighting of the Loch Ness dog

Another sighting of the Loch Ness dog

19.02.2026 23:13 β€” πŸ‘ 510    πŸ” 82    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 2
Preview
Exclusive | OpenAI Employees Raised Alarms About Canada Shooting Suspect Months Ago The ChatGPT maker opted against informing Canadian authorities about Jesse Van Rootselaar’s descriptions of violence last June.

OpenAI employees pushed for the company to inform Canadian police about a user they thought would engage in real-world violence months before the person did just that, killing eight people in a horrific attack in Tumbler Ridge.

The company only reached out to police after the shooting had occurred.

22.02.2026 02:18 β€” πŸ‘ 908    πŸ” 394    πŸ’¬ 6    πŸ“Œ 61
Raygun

Raygun

Winter Olympics end tomorrow, only 2 years until Summer Olympics!

22.02.2026 03:10 β€” πŸ‘ 29    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 2    πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
DoJ cases against protesters keep collapsing as officers’ lies are exposed in court String of embarrassing defeats for prosecutors as experts condemn DoJ effort to cast people as β€˜violent perpetrators’

A MN protester accused of assaulting ICE officer had case dropped after vids showed no assault.

LA protester accused of assaulting ICE w/ β€œhat” had case dropped; judge said govt acted in β€œbad faith”

In Chicago, 92 ppl were arrested for assault/impeding ICE; 0 convicted

DOJ keeps lying and losing:

21.02.2026 21:22 β€” πŸ‘ 5890    πŸ” 2148    πŸ’¬ 117    πŸ“Œ 108

Emerald Fennell think she Sofia Coppola, Sofia Coppola think she Francis Ford Coppola, Francis Ford Coppola think he the Hamburglar

21.02.2026 03:00 β€” πŸ‘ 1927    πŸ” 270    πŸ’¬ 4    πŸ“Œ 16
Preview
Diva! Conspiracy Girlies! (w. Karen Kilgariff + Martha Kelly) Podcast Episode Β· Brief Recess: A Legal Podcast with Michael Foote & MΓ©lissa Malebranche Β· 02/19/2026 Β· 1h 12m

podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/d...

19.02.2026 17:05 β€” πŸ‘ 10    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 1
Post image

notorious radical left communist rag says tax the rich

18.02.2026 16:03 β€” πŸ‘ 20522    πŸ” 6600    πŸ’¬ 468    πŸ“Œ 457

She does rip them up now. It was just the first few days after getting out of the shelter that she rallied her stuffed frens for support πŸ’—

16.02.2026 19:05 β€” πŸ‘ 3    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0
Post image Post image Post image

This was right after I got Macey in 2023. I had a large crate in the living room that I left open. She systematically got each stuffed toy out of a basket and brought it into the crate over the next few days.

16.02.2026 18:16 β€” πŸ‘ 48    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 3    πŸ“Œ 0

Me as a child: it must be very hard to become a CEO and be very hard work once you get the job

Guy obviously on drugs speaking at a conference: the next five years of the economy should be about a dream I had where a dog spoke to me

16.02.2026 13:58 β€” πŸ‘ 5415    πŸ” 955    πŸ’¬ 52    πŸ“Œ 27
Preview
What the Royal Family’s Links to Slavery Mean in the Age of Epstein Just as the former Prince Andrew will always be royal, so will the trafficking of African people.

I’m honored that The New Yorker has published a feature on my book by @samknightwrites.bsky.social examining the monarchy’s historical entanglement with slavery β€” and how patterns of exploitation and institutional silence echo into the present.
Read here: www.newyorker.com/news/letter-...

16.02.2026 11:51 β€” πŸ‘ 131    πŸ” 52    πŸ’¬ 7    πŸ“Œ 5

ICE using the same ruse that Ted Bundy used to kidnap people should tell you something.

15.02.2026 01:51 β€” πŸ‘ 21075    πŸ” 8161    πŸ’¬ 372    πŸ“Œ 166
I became Senior VP at a multi-million dollar company at age 26. My salary was $600k. This was in 2018.
How did I do it?

Blacked out lines

CEO (my dad) promoted me to SVP.
There are no gimmicks. There are no shortcuts.

I became Senior VP at a multi-million dollar company at age 26. My salary was $600k. This was in 2018. How did I do it? Blacked out lines CEO (my dad) promoted me to SVP. There are no gimmicks. There are no shortcuts.

This is blackout poetry to me

14.02.2026 14:26 β€” πŸ‘ 23271    πŸ” 4801    πŸ’¬ 223    πŸ“Œ 169
Preview
Exclusive: White House uses USAID funds for budget director Vought's security, documents show The White House budget office is using millions of dollars from the former U.S. foreign aid agency to pay for the security detail of Russell Vought, President Donald Trump's budget chief and an archit...

This man is a thief, coward and hypocrite. He argues the U.S. can't afford to protect workers from scammy corporations through the CFPB, but it CAN afford to pay millions and millions robbed from three different agencies to pay for his imperial guard. #stopvought

www.reuters.com/world/us/whi...

13.02.2026 16:50 β€” πŸ‘ 1029    πŸ” 320    πŸ’¬ 18    πŸ“Œ 11

Aside from the fact that now IS the time to talk about the Democrats we don’t want to vote for, support for trans people is a very reasonable line to draw. Instead of talking about 2028 theoreticals, talk about how the Labour Party completely threw trans people under the bus in the U.K.

13.02.2026 16:17 β€” πŸ‘ 103    πŸ” 19    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0

This is so much worse than what took down Nixon, difference was that then the media did not like Nixon and wasn't trying to help him and today the media is controlled by the Epstein-Oligarch class and so is part of the same conspiracy that Trump is and buries it

13.02.2026 03:58 β€” πŸ‘ 1464    πŸ” 382    πŸ’¬ 20    πŸ“Œ 3

LOLOL

13.02.2026 00:19 β€” πŸ‘ 33    πŸ” 1    πŸ’¬ 1    πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
Jan. 6 rioter pardoned by Trump is convicted of child molestation Andrew Johnson tried to bribe a child victim with the promise of a Jan. 6-related payout, prosecutors say. Trump has discussed the possibility of compensating rioters, but no one has received any payments.

A Jan. 6 rioter pardoned by President Trump has been convicted of child molestation and other crimes after he tried to use an anticipated payout from the Trump administration to silence one victim, according to a Florida prosecutor's office.

12.02.2026 15:20 β€” πŸ‘ 390    πŸ” 206    πŸ’¬ 34    πŸ“Œ 35

Good. Seal yourselves in your vaults and leave the rest of us alone.

12.02.2026 16:04 β€” πŸ‘ 21    πŸ” 0    πŸ’¬ 2    πŸ“Œ 0