Pam💜🌻🦋

A virtual certificate with text "Celebrating 10M users on Bluesky, #322,887, Pam💜🌻🦋 ‪@pambd.bsky.social‬, joined on Jul 19, 2023"

Bluesky now has over 10 million users, and I was #322,887! 💖

Don’t click!

Of fucking course.

The irony is just… wow.

This is exactly why I’ve been to nervous to post to Twitter.

But the treats are all coded into here too. Bc it’s not just the robot CEOs and machines that are the problems. It’s US.

Don’t click the link.

will.i.am } Download FYI to experience the future of messaging

I went to church yesterday and found myself once again marveling in the goodness and complexities of having faith in such a rocky road moment.

I…am stuck

Wait why am I getting this will I am pop up? For ANOTHER SM site???

The real truth on my heart is the impossibility of solidarity I feel with those who come from traditionally white, elitist, and supremacy marked classes. Colonizers.

There wiring is so tight, so intense, the subservience demanded is automatic.

The stealing of our goods and labor required.

I’m in a meditative writing circle.

I’m supposed to be writing about my truth.

But the truth is really heavy, complex, and risky to share with new, mixed, or uncertain company.

No matter how altruistic or egalitarian the collective.

Power dynamics are what they are.

Always have been.

In hindsight I think it’s more so those of us who are both lovers and fighters who are truly being tested in this moment of ending karmic cycles.

The balance in the middle of a hellscape tornado in a hurricane in this moment in time is literally gut wrenching.

What a time.

What a horrifically twisted and sick time.

Of course people are happy, performing being good. I’ve gotten my own taste of this for some time.

For a lover like me, the fakeness and dishonesty feels dystopic. The betrayal so clear.

Intense grief for the endings & eclipses upon us.

How to Handle and Prevent PTSD Blackouts - Heron Ridge Associates of Michigan Many people with post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) experience blackouts, among other symptoms. These blackouts may include flashbacks to a previous time in the person’s life, or they may involve a...

… is not easy, nor for the faint and dishonest at heart.

The mind fuck of everything can be too much.

I blacked out twice this week from sudden #PTSD panic collapses.

Last week makes my 5th episode in 3 years.

www.heronridgeassocs.com/prevent-ptsd...

The dichotomies between witnessing the apocalyptic genocidal violence we tried to protect against while also protecting one’s peace, living one’s life still.

Digging deep to heal the worst of wounds, while not making healing one’s whole identity and life.

To do so amidst embodied contradictions…

Continuing the experiment of untangling threads here bc all other platforms cause me too much mental noise.

Time & reality is so odd and insane lately.

As I’ve posted before— being a witness to this moment is unbelievable and I know more than ever that helping describe & make meaning matters.

Massachusetts' millionaire tax is earning more than expected and could help make up for the last few years of high earners fleeing the state The millionaires tax in Massachusetts beat estimates by bringing in $1.8 billion so far, helping the state despite the loss of high-income earners.

In 2023, Massachusetts created a 4% tax on incomes over $1M and used the money to completely fund school lunches for all kids. The millionaires, it turns out... are fine www.businessinsider.com/massachusett...

Spoke to a fellow organizer/colleague who shared a thoughtful reflection of my work and reminded me of this important kernel I wrote a year ago while mourning the shuttering of V4TP.

Such a weird time in my life.

Learning new ways of rest and Being while contending with intergenerational struggles and curses. All while being responsive to systemic violence and collapse.

Grateful to have the small patch of peace and love that I have.

Grateful to be here, now.

Still alive🦋

The same can be said about positions of power.

They really thought we’d remain codependent tokens and semi-enfranchised loyalists.

Que siempre nos recordemos de nuestra integridad y el poder de mis decisiones y pensamientos.

El tiempo se me hace más y más difícil pero solo que si se es que un mundo nuevo si va ser una batalla grande. Pero con nuestra inteligencia y magia divina femenina también podemos ganar un mundo nuevo✨🌐❤️‍🔥

Not sure if this will thread but I’m sitting in my backyard again thinking about the challenge of writing what’s happening in real time as we live it.

But here I am, re-reading this Tweet? Do we call it that? Weird how these machines have so much identity and invention to them.

Thinking about…

Florida’s biodiversity is heaven on earth, it’s no wonder USian fascists want to colonize and militarize it and the southern United States.

#AaronBushnell ❤️‍🔥🪖🕯️💔

It seems to me that getting deplatformed because people don’t want to be associated with your bigotry and thugishness is what “failing in the marketplace of ideas” looks like.

It’s quite insane how a woman will rationally share all the red flags of danger, hostility, and suffering she’s going through to the point of unaliving and yet people will still respond by telling her to do more, to fix it.

Spirit is definitely a Woman.

In all honesty, being online right now, on any platform, is a gamble.

Despite widespread vulnerabilities amidst accelerating cyber, climate & global insecurities… protections & supports against algorhthymic political violence and data misuse against activists remain ignored & void.

Years ago I randomly made a Snapchat “pambd” to engage w/ old hometown & military friends.

Not a fan of the movie Stepbrothers, but that scene where a grown man in a tux stupidly keeps messing up a woman’s 3 letter name really hit.