Apple Bottom Jings

call me a circular cardboard slip placed under drinks the way I've been coasting

Call me spoon the way I’m makeing a stir

suns cinema 🔥🔥🔥

Rick and Morty. Guards posted on the edge of darkness, one on each end of the brief flash of light we call our existence. Morty - from the french word Mort, meaning death. And Rick, of course, derived from the ancient japanese concept of 生きる、which means "To Live"

Why did I say this..

We have food at home 😂

Food at home: Ramen that I cummed in

Say what you want about Fat Bastard, the stereotypes he's riffing on, the sharpness of the writing, etc. But having him like to eat babies was a stroke of pure inspiration

jd vance post: erm mom can you pick me up? liberals are trusting the word of *checks notes* jeffrey epstein??

trump post: "THE CORRECT TERM FOR THE PRESIDENT IS EPHEBOPHILE NOT PEDOPHILE" - THE GREAT MARK LEVIN ON FOX NEWS

jd vance 2015: has anyone seen #Archer? #ThatsHowYouGetAnts lol!

jd vance 2025: I'm not saying it's necessarily good to be molested - no one is saying that - but if you are going to be molested, obviously you'd want the President of the United States to do it. Why do we pretend otherwise?

Pizzagate: If you replace the word “hot dog” with “little boy” and “pizza party” with “child sex orgy,” you will see the lengths these elites go to cover up their crimes.

Real elite emails: Send me nude pictures of those 8th graders we abused last weekend post-haste! I am the Ambassador to Turkey.

"miles and hour" I Am Not Long For This World

body slamming a cat and a hairball comes out at four thousand miles and hour and breaks a priceless vase

i love tech discourse...

stay away from Kroger. That thing is next to it.

second verse on this is one of the funniest things i've ever heard

learning a lot about relationships on tiktok

Cheerios Oat Crunch box: Start your day SO satisfied - Fill up with BIG FLAVOR

Me pouring myself a bowl: I just fuckin might...

Lowkey this looks difficult

Eating a soft pumpkin cookie unfortunately and wasn't even that excited about it

you guys aren't gonna believe how hard i just bit the inside of my lip

Login form: Password, cannot be blank.

Me; Fuck you.... Fuck your family.......

stepping on a skateboard by accident and going on the ride of my life

nice buccal fat bro it would be a shame if i removed it surgically

it's a small, quiet novel that seems to contain much of the human experience within. To me, it's one of the most moving things i can remember reading, and offers a perspective on life/meaning that feels fresh and significant. But it is quiet and small, and I can see that being not for everyone

Shut the fuck up babe, i'm reading Stoner by John Williams. Babe, i'm sorry I said that to you. It's just that I was reading Stoner

Abduction of Proserpina, by Giambologna, 1579 (from the @NortonSimon Museum in Pasadena), 📸 by @nturchiarophoto

(officiating wedding) Do you? Do you? (entering crowd work mode) (pointing at guy in front row) I know this motherfucker Do

Nice reply "owning" me, unfortunately you parsed 2 levels of irony but missed completely the third, wherein it's clear I'm making fun of the persona your reply intended to critique. That being said I'm still hurt to an almost unimaginable degree

Might become one of those guys with a stick up his ass. Seems like it would feel awesome

it would be awesome to live in the pigs world