Unfriendly Black²feet Óṫ’’k̇oaṗi•siak̇īī

💜 🫂

I just don’t wanna be so spiritually, emotionally, and physically tired anymore. Atp I don’t even know if I care if I burnout

You feel abt me saying it, there’s nothing to engage w bc you’re not gonna hear what I’m saying ANYway. Bc you want me to bc soft. And the cycle repeats again & again and again a-fuckin-gain

Damned if you do damned if you don’t bc comin at her sideways out the gate woulda got me this or worse 8/8

We can ALL do well to remember that the goal is not to never fuck up but to listen and learn better so we can do and be better but this ain’t about everybody or even a broad application of this kind of behaviour in racially based allyship. If you can’t engage with what I’m saying over how 7/8

Don't comment to get in ya feelings abt me targeting white folks specifically bc yes
ANYONE can be a shitty ally but THIS post here is abt shitty white allies & the prevalence of this particular type of habit amongst white folks

Get mad at those people for doing it, not me for pointing it out

6/8

“Knows what it means and said what she said” so I have to take her at her word that she’s being a bigot on purpose regardless of what she says abt her absent “meanness” (which don’t mean shit here anyway) but this is SUCH a fkn common thing to see w white allies being addressed abt smth 5/8

We are ALL gonna fuck up! That is the nature of being alive! A goal to never fuck up isn’t attainable and is gonna make you fuck up more bc it makes being wrong abt smthn and admitting it immediately moralizing!

Like at the end of the day she really said w her whole chest that she 4/8

Some of y’all this shit & it's fkn EXHAUSTING to deal with as the target of the micro/macroaggression even when we have the time, energy, and inclination

Stop being allergic to admitting being wrong! Nobody is reasonably expecting you to never fuck up! Not ever fkn up never been the goal! 3/8

Comparing innocent victims of racial violence to P3DOS bc you like the phrasing is trash! You’re trash for digging in your heels!

I'm not engaging w her any more than this but PLEASE if YOU are white, it’s your duty to use your ability to call your fellow whites out exactly BECAUSE 2/8

THIS WAS ON A POST ABT A GUY WHO GOT CAUGHT W CP

White folks being mfn EXHAUSTING ex: ♾️

Shitty allies yap they'll listen if you talk sweet but then you talk to em nice & they still basically go "there's no problem bc I don't see one even though it’s being pointed out."

Like, eat shit, Karen. 1/8

Trying to take myself off the census every other month but for what?! I’m grateful I got to experience healthy love, I’m grateful for learning to put blame where it goes over my abuse. I’m grateful that I got to be IN the silver-lining even if it wasn’t perfect and even though it’s temporary. That

…concerning what’ll happen to me going back into the workforce rn but until bills can be paid in “I’m trying”, I don’t think I have much of a choice. I hate that I fucking got my hopes up abt the kind of life I could have “after” recovery bc wtf is after? I’ve made a lot of progress and yeah I’m not

Disassociated. That way I can stay in it longer. Atp I think just being able to have a job for as long as possible before I hit whatever my limit is now is the most reasonable expectation. My therapist had a really interesting analogy last time we talked abt it and she made it pretty clear that it’s

That big of a deal in the long term. Anyway. Everyone cross your fingers I get through the meeting w/o fkn crying or needing meds and that they can actually place me somewhere with an opportunity to work a lot. I think I could accomplish a lot if I can have a job where I can do it while

How my disability works. At this point things are so dire that even an extra $500/mo would be a big ass help which I should maybe be able to do on disability but I could make more off it and if I’m gonna burn out anyway, losing access to therapy and meds and insurance and whatever else isn’t really

Happens so at least I’ll be able to do something helpful for a little while. If I’m gonna fkn burn all the way out anyway, I may as well make it useful. Maybe if it’s not as bad as I think I can get way more hours since I’m restricted based off not being allowed to have more than $2K at once bc of

Friends I have. And I don’t know how to mourn that healthily. I don’t know how to talk to any of them about it. I’m GONNA burn out, I can’t even think about just going to the job meetings without spiralling really bad so I know I’m gonna burn out. I just need to make as much as possible before that

Pay bills. It’s probably really fucked up that I’m even complaining and worried about any of this when ppl have real fucking problems in the world. It’s not like I could just wait around forever for me not to have CPTSD anymore. I’m pre-devastated that I’m going to lose my gfs, the few meatspace

Prevalent feeling bc of everything fucking going on in the world. I think I probably could just force myself but I don’t know how to do that without hurting my relationships. I’m scared this is the beginning of the end for a lot of things but I also don’t really have a choice if I want to be able to

So shitty over the years that I’m essentially going to have to reinforce the shit I’ve been trying to unlearn bc we have bills that need to be paid. I hate feeling like I’ve been doing something wrong and irresponsible for going into trauma recovery in the first place when that’s already such a

With all my fucking restrictions and issues and I’m scared that this is going to mess up my relationships and me bc I don’t know how the fuck I’m going to be able to do this without going back to harmful coping mechanisms. I’m scared that my ability to lie to myself and gaslight myself has gotten

Been a waste of time and resources. I hate feeing like “well yeah, I’m not trying to kill myself every other month and I don’t seek out or stay in abusive situations but at what cost”

I have an appointment with my case worker next week to see if it’s even possible to place me in ANY kind of work

Now but bills can’t be paid in “I’m trying”. I wouldn’t even be able to work as many hours as I need bc I’ll get my disability cut or lose it entirely if I have more than $2K at once and I’m already always fkn struggling bc I’m perpetually broke with no way to save

I hate feeling like recovery has

I need y’all know she full on MET MY FATHER AND HIS GIRLFRIEND at this past Hanukkah at Gf A’s parents 😂 I don’t think she clocked it even though I explained it a few times, she was shy

In her defense, her dad has grey hair and her grandfathers both have grey hair and I don’t think she knows yet that ppl have pics of ppl they don’t know on their phones so the internal logic is very on point but I was CACKLIN

Weekly hang out w my 2yo niece (daughter of Gf A’s bestie) and she saw my phone screen so she grabs my phone & points at Fredrick Douglass, then me and goes “Aniyodi* dada?” 🤣

Bwoy I bout died laughin

*This is how she says “Auntie [Coy]ote” and I will never correct her

Moskowitz: "Trump's name appears more times in the Epstein files than God's name appears in the book about God"

Lissennnnnn! Come thru!

That’s just most of DC outside the Mall anyway lmfaoooooo

Right! I’m tryna link up!