Ashessss

I had yogurt and fruit today but idk if I'm going to eat anything else tbh I super don't want to

see us as inherently sexual creatures fit only to be sexualized and dehumanized. It's hard to find content or literature about us that isn't inherently sexual by anyone who isn't a transfem for that reason bc regardless of what the intent is, 'allies' or transphobes see us as sexual objects

I have STRONG opinions about this buuut it's literally bc we're seen as a fetish to so many different groups. Misogyny, transmisogyny, sexualization, economic oppression that force so many of us have to go into SW, transphobia that pits us as inherently sexual, etc all combine to make people only

Also bread. And pizza. All the fat bitch foods.

Craving egg sandwich. Or egg salad. Egg.

Also it's FILLING! We literally survived OMADing that exclusively for like a month and a half at least. Still high functioning walking 15-20k steps a day with no issue throughout.

It's sooo easy it was like a tired meal our dad would make when we were a kid. That's probably why we like it so much xD it's literally just a pound of pasta and a can of Italian wedding soup mixed together. Add veggies or cheese if you want. If you eat 1/8 a lb in one serving it's sub 300 cal 😁

We didn't have cheese but we had some lil meatballs and veggies and stuff so honestly probably! Always depends on portions and stuff but it could absolutely be low cal!!!

Depends on sizes. We make a pasta dish that if we eat a reasonably small amount it's only like 300-350 cals. I think it's def possible to be low cal

I don't know what we feel. It's not like super super anxious. It's not sad. It's not good. It's just tense. We've been tense for days. It's so tiring.

I fear I'm actively restricting again. Light restriction but restriction nonetheless.

My roommate said I could have the ice cream they bought bc I'll 'probably eat it faster' than them and honestly I'm kinda spiraling about it what do you mean why am I the fatass who eats everything when did this happen

Not like ED 'your heart gave up' I mean full malnourished didn't eat for like 3 weeks

Is it possible to ⭐️ve yourself to 💀 through like sheer willpower

I wish somewhere was here to cuddle with me. I'd take being used rn. I don't care. I just want contact and someone to hold me.

It's so hard for me to cry but I just sobbed because I felt so bad that I'm over handling a stuffed animal that I love. I kept apologizing. I still feel bad. I know that's crazy. I know I'm crazy. It isn't fair. I'm not supposed to be like this.

I got Bryn because I thought she was cute. She was supposed to sit on my shelf being cute. She wasn't supposed to be held all the time and i wasn't supposed to rely on her to get through the day. I don't want to ruin her. I'm touching her too much and im going to ruin her. I don't want to do that

I'm not supposed to be like this. I'm not supposed to be this broken. I'm 24. I'm not supposed to need to hold a stuffed animal to leave my room. I'm not supposed to need a stuffed animal at all times. I'm not supposed to be scared of every noise. I'm not supposed to be like this. It's not fair.

We were productive earlier today and then we weren't tonight but I think we earned it we earned our cuddle with stuffed animals time :)

One of my posts got found by a 15 year old on normsky WHAT. Like obv blocked but how???

It's so embarrassing having one of our most common flashback triggers be showering. Why? How? It didn't happen in the shower. Why does it panic us so much??

Being disordered is ass but if I need to ration food I'm ready to go I got experience 😭😭😭

I'm not "⭐️ving myself" I'm saving money, have you seen how expensive food is???

Ashes productive arc !!!

Twinssss

Idk how she's not tired of me I'm the worst xD "remember how we agreed I should do this thing well actually I didn't and I slept with a couple randos and cried lolzzzz"

Are we fawning again? Who knowssss find out next week on the ashes tells her therapist about the dumb shit she did show

Ahhhh happy (not yet) birthday!!!!!!!!!!

Did it. It is bc they only see us as the girl in the ER like I thought. That hurts a lot. But at least I communicated that.