Oh shit it rotates
Y’all aren’t ready for the kind of thighs I’m bringing to the goml hotel gym and pool
Fav band this year
Guys…
Please for fuck’s sake if there’s a greater force out there who’s listening - please let zohran win this election, we need a dub so bad rn
Nobody’s better at eating cereal with their hands while they’re drunk than me.
If you hit me on your citibike I’m cancelling your next depop order and not refunding you
hitting some ledgedashes would be wonderful but these titties aren’t going to suck themselves.
Me when I’ve had sex one time in one position and it was pretty good:
That tracks 🫡
Okay what’s good with Minecraft I know the soundtrack is heat but what is the environment you’re listening to it in
People kept saying that as you grow up your tastes become largely defined by the time you leave college. I’ve found this to be largely untrue. I love yacht rock now
Indefensible first part
Personally I find it indefensible if you are a plain vanilla ice cream with no toppings enjoyer
Feeling kinda freaky ‘cause the automatic paper towel dispenser wouldn’t work so I had to finger it a little to get the next sheet out
Can’t believe my freaky ass used to pop each edamame bean out individually before eating it
Yeah I’m built different - incorrectly
“To be loved is to be known” I think to myself as the deli guy starts making my sandwich as soon as I walk in
Smoking that shit that made Jennifer love Hewitt
Some people with fake jobs will really be out here posting videos with a cat on their lap being like “wahh how am I supposed to work like this 😣” FUCK YOUUUU
YOUNG MAN, there's no need to feel down
i said YOUNG MAN, pagliacci the clown
you can SEE HIM
he is playing in town
you should go
and
have
a
good time
When I’m in phone mode in bed, sometimes I avoid looking at the time just so I can feel like I went to bed earlier than I really am
Kind of sucks knowing I’ll never again get my hair washed when I get a haircut
We are not the same. I do not play with the cat so I can show my Instagram followers.
Fuck yes
Uhmmm sorry but the moon and the sun are never out at the same time actually so this can’t be the case <3
We’ve gotta go put a trans flag on the moon
Made out like a bandit because you know I’m stealing kisses
Seeing an ipad baby - no, this is not good
Seeing a cat watching the television - incredible, you are like a little man
They should make likes public here. What’re you freaks looking at on the butterfly app
