i wrote abt women as the contemporary muse of Fashion metrosexuals, how designating women as such affects relationships & general understanding of fulfilling selfless love. paid tier essay but the first half is free. paid tier is $5 per month or $40 annually 🤓 open.substack.com/pub/seraphfe...
recurrent neurosis, my old friend…
once more w FEELING!! $400/$3k i’m paying for my move home at end of month, the $400 is for that. i’ve accepted that my being away from home during grief processing & worsening chronic illness has been incredibly detrimental. i need $3,000 by end of month bc of breaking sublease gofund.me/51fd764a
look mami we have righ, bean.. a chuleta
the concept of man being born of dust and women being born of him which alludes to women not quite having an anchor in the earth
depression so bad i started writing and making zines again lol
another substack series about my obsessions? well yes!
this is kinda late, but i wrote a bit about my top 5 first watches of 2024 that pertain to evolving identity 🫶🏽
open.substack.com/pub/seraphfe...
trying to engage in my creative & intellectual passions but failing to bc i feel trapped by financial strife, thus obligated to monetize what i’m good at. my doctor said i can’t work. it’s a last ditch effort for basic stability & peace of mind. so i panic everyday bc if i fail, how do i survive?
i need to bc holy shit, med withdrawals hit me like a train right after that & i’m trying to get my brain working okay again ☹️
i feel that i am incredibly capable of doing beautiful things in the world. but i am so disgusted by indifference & empty platitudes & the way i can tell when my grief is Too Much for ppl now bc i’ve heard it from ppl who didn’t care to hide their annoyance. i think cowardly apathy is more offensive
i constantly feel that the absolute core of who i am is just gone. no matter how much i adorn the remains of myself sloughing off around this void, i still am left with a doubt that it means anything. i don’t much care to make people laugh, or positively impact people or be a bright thing anymore
felt an inkling of emotional strength tonight before trying to sleep, and decided to finally export all of my voicemails from my mom. i didn’t even listen to them but seeing the dates & time stamps further broke something inside of me & i wailed so hard for an hour that it echoed thru my apartment
PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP ASKING WHY WE DONT DO THIS IN THIS COUNTRY. THIS IS NOT A HOMOGENOUS COUNTRY AND IT’S MAJORITY WHITE.
eating disorder?! nah bitch, i’m eatin dis order 😂😂💯 (“marry me” gnocchi but no meat, and i added a few extra ingredients for funsies)
remembering that kate bush has the same bday as me & finding out that emily brontë also has the same bday quite literally rewired my self perception last night. astrology, synchronicities, the divine nature of personhood, fate etc. are just so Real & True, no spiritual psychosis! i’m my new religion
found the key to truly getting over someone who has consistently shown they will never be a Serious person. the key was self love and recognition of my own internal + external beauty. bitch, i don’t give a fuck about trying to convince anyone i deserve decency let alone love
the intricate, labor intensive, mentally rejuvenating ritual of deep cleaning my kitchen sink, counters, fridge, and stove once a week
just spent an hour and a half cleaning my kitchen with the fervor of little orphan annie. and i’m happy!!
also further building a digital archive for myself and my friends. will share with mutuals when ready but nawt totally for free bc it is years of unbound autism & research idgaf LMAO
got a fresh batch of printer ink, have lots of arts & craft supplies always available (i’m Me + my roomie is a nonbinary lesbian so ofc), am reoptimizing my old macbook for my productivity & hobby needs so i spend less time on my phone.
new zines (will sell physicals), substacks, & video essays otw
i haven’t been on there all day & i quite literally feel a faith in humanity that i didn’t have for 48 hours prior to today. it’s kinda hell! instead of browsing twitter for jokes, personal yet casual convo, and creative content i will simply stick to substack, websites, subreddits and a lil youtube
my husband was craving a symbolic manifestation of his own desire for punishment and/or hell so i made it from scratch
woke up for the day not even 2 hours ago and i’ve already seen stress induced flashes of muddled viscera in my mind at least 20 times. so yeah i’m doing okay mentally, totally not concerned for my wellbeing
it would improve my quality of life/health if ppl Actually donated (engagement still doesn’t equate to help!! i haven’t received anything from this post...). i have no rent $$$$, am back in testing & treatment for chronic illness, AND medically ruled unfit to work $JSMNRN venmo.com/u/jsmnrn
asking for help, idc. help me pay rent for december AND ease my near constant sense of doom due to chronic illness, trauma recovery, and grieving my mom & brother but not actively grieving bc it feels like a luxury while tryna make life work
venmo.com/u/jsmnrn
gofund.me/51fd764a
cash.app/$jsmnrn
made this crochet bag a bit ago ❣️
twitter is like brain cell poison, holy shit. i grow more concerned with the state of this world everyday. i have faith in humanity but not in the broad sense at this point. bitches are fried!!!!
asking for help, idc. help me pay rent for december AND ease my near constant sense of doom due to chronic illness, trauma recovery, and grieving my mom & brother but not actively grieving bc it feels like a luxury while tryna make life work
venmo.com/u/jsmnrn
gofund.me/51fd764a
cash.app/$jsmnrn
My friend texted me to ask if it's still worth wearing a 😷 while traveling this holiday week. My answer was an emphatic YES.
The weather is colder, we are seeing flu, rsv and covid seasonal uptick. Airports will be crowded and poorly ventilated.
PS - Get you flu/rsv/covid shots if you qualify.
this app doesn’t supress external links! here’s a new -paid tier- essay ab internet history & the everevolving internet nerd zeitgeist. i cover the limiting prevalence of social media as it pertains to self exploration & actualization for teenage girls & young women open.substack.com/pub/seraphfe...
