CEEFAUX

a video game called double dragon is being played on a black background ALT: a video game called double dragon is being played on a black background

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16.00 BARRY SCOTT OF THE ANTARCTIC Tragic retelling of the attempt to reach the South Pole equipped with only brightly coloured shirts, a bottle of Cillit Bang, and a very loud ovebearing voice.

One for the kids

Thanks all, laughing very hard at this glorious exchange from @robscatray.bsky.social & @kris-king.bsky.social

This has just killed us, brilliant.

17.15 ALLO ALLO ALLO ALL ALLO ALLO ALLO ALLO Multiverse WWII comedy reboot. When french cafe owner Rene Artois accidentally cracks the fabric of reality he must deal with 3,321 different versions of his life keeping them all secret from his now 1,000 strong wives and lovers.

Lundi, innnit

20.00 AUF WIEDERSEHEN, PET Documentary following a day in the life with Munich's least qualified group of veterinarians.

12.15 GRAN STAND Steve Ryder presents uninterrupted coverage of an OAP who has failed to pre-book a seat on a packed bank holiday train from Bristol Temple Meads to York.

Enjoying a retro TV Saturday

And for those of you yet to like it, here's that same listing with up to 75% off.

22.15 FILM: BLACK FRIDAY THE 13TH Jason Voorhees is SLASHING teenage victimes. UP TO 50% OFF their body parts. Many victims MASSIVELY REDUCED to bits of flesh and bone. He'll BEAT ANYONE ANYONE ELSE* but just today. HURRY! SERIOUSLY! REALLY DO HURRY! *while blood stocks last

Please note, this film ends at midnight. #blackfriday

15.00 BLACK FRIDAY BEAUTY More heavily discounted adventures with the legendary horse

#blackfriay

19.35 SOME MUTHAS DO 'AVE 'EM Hardhitting US re-imagining of the classic 80#s sitcom farce starring Ice-T as Franklin Spence III. Franklin's attempts to find a new job get off to a bad start when this cat does a whoopsie on the sidewalk and the local gangbangers decided to put a cap in its ass.

KWAK

Thank you for making this one fly so much today, 100+ new followers in 24 hours is lovely, as is seeing people go on to then like 50+ other listings. There's a lot of horrid things going on the world and you lot liking our stuff and saying nice things really does make a difference.

23.00 FILM: RAMBO NUMBER FIVE The war veteran returns to face early 2000's chart act Lou Bega who is threatening to detonate a series of bombs leaving a little bit of Monica, Erica, Rita, Tina, Sandra and Jessica scattered over a wide area.

09.00 TOM & JERRY SPRINGER Tom the cat is in the studio to hear the results of the paternity test which may confirm he is actually related to the mouse he has been trying to catch all these years. Will the truth case his jaw to drop all the way to floor before he has to pump his own tail like a handle to raise the jaw back into place?

16.05 THE LITTLEST OBOE More adventures with the kind hearted stray double-reeded woodwind instrument.

Je peux vous dire que votre chemisier est absolument ravissant?

N'aspirez-vous jamais... au changement

Putain de merde ! Une réplique de la pièce !

(from the live show, if that counts)

David le Hérisson et le Pistolet à Patates

Bon anniversaire, bisous Sue Menuisier ;)

"EMPLOYE DU GAZ!!!"

"Allez, Eddie. Il doit y avoir plus important dans la vie que des nichons..."

Une femme comme Kim Basinger.
Non... Kim. Basinger.

“Vert oie ?”
“Qui n'en a pas pris, hein ?”

Que ferait Napoléon ? Perdre la bataille de Waterloo, ça ne me convient pas du tout!

No idea if this is accurate, but:

Bon sang, mon pote, vieux loup de mer, amigo, skipper, accordeur de piano.

- Et si on jouait à la queue de l'âne ?
- On n'a pas d'âne.
- Et si on jouait à la queue du poulet ?
- On n'a pas de queue.
- Bon, on pourrait jouer à la saucisse sur le poulet.
- On n'a pas de poulet.
- Bon, on pourrait jouer à la saucisse sur le frigo.