Max Leibman

Easy, like taking candy from a stranger.

Wait. Let me start over.



#WaitLetMeStartOver

Phone Rings:

Tom Watson: Oh hell who could it be at this time of hour?
::Picks up Phone:: Hello?

Alex Bell: I am calling about Your extended Horse and Buggy Warranty.

Me, trying to pass in a room full of MBAs: What if profit, but more?

My official job title is "Solutions Architect," which sounds made up, but only because it is.

“Hey, buddy. Sorry to bother you. Could you spare a two-factor code to help a guy out?”

Ok. Relax. BREATHE. Just post normal.

"You need to get out more."

–Me, explaining the escape room to the next group of participants



#IHaveAWayWithWords

"YOUR ONE TIME CODE IS 744537 STOP

DO NOT SHARE THIS CODE WITH ANYONE STOP

IF ANY TELEGRAM OPERATOR OR GENTLEMAN CALLER ASKS YOU FOR THIS CODE IT IS A SCAM STOP"

–Two-factor authentication message, circa 1885

🎶 In the key of Eddie Money:

I've got
Two-factor on my device
Type my code
Log in tonight

#infosec

If you try to rob a bank in a ski mask, you should also wear ski pants and a ski jacket while holding ski poles and standing on skis. That way, when the police arrive, you can say "Just looking for the bunny slope, playboy"

My own personal version of “all lives matter”:

When someone asks “What, do you WANT cops to get hurt?” to reply, “I don’t want anyone who’s not a Nazi to get hurt.”

You joke, but in the time one took to arrive yesterday I'd nearly given up, put some shoes on, and gone to the bank in person. (If I didn't think they'd tell me "You could do it online" I might have.)

Please refer to "man in the middle attack" with the more inclusive term, "person in the middle attack." Women and nonbinary people are also capable of doing crimes.

Listen. Freedom isn't free.

Freedom is ad-supported, or available with a Freedom+ subscription for only $16.99 per month.

A sleepy lion once told me where there's a-weem, there's a-weh.

I didn't know what "proprietary eponym" meant, so I went to Bing to google it.

Mary Jane Watson starts to suspect Peter Parker is leading a double life when she overhears him muttering about "Doc Cock."

To the victor goes the broth.

Wait. Let me start over.



#WaitLetMeStartOver

Your two-factor authentication code is out for delivery.

I'm slow to hit the block button compared to many people around here, but "no true Scotsman"-ing the definition of genocide will make me do it every time.

Rapid unscheduled dissociation.

"That advice doesn't work for everyone!"

And an EpiPen won't cure diabetes. What's your point?

People who use jargon are totally sus.

RFK Jr. pulls funding for vaccines being developed to fight respiratory viruses The projects — 22 of them — are being led by some of the nation’s leading pharmaceutical companies like Pfizer and Moderna to prevent flu, COVID-19 and H5N1 infections.

Could everyone who has a sincere worry about mRNA vaccines please reply to this post?

That way, we'll have you all in one place and it will be really easy to block all of your dangerous, ignorant, dishonest asses from public discourse.

Gonna start an account called Lower Quality Facts and undercut @lowqualityfacts.bsky.social on price.

Are you there, God? It's-a me, Mario.

The novel 'Scatterplot with a Vampire' introduced the character of the vampire Lestatistician.

Kicking buckets and taking names.

Wait. Let me start over.



#WaitLetMeStartOver

Listen. Freedom isn't free.

Freedom is ad-supported, or available with a Freedom+ subscription for only $16.99 per month.

I’m sorry, you’re right. You’ve checked that it was me four times in two minutes, but the fifth time in the same process flow on the same machine from the same IP address it might totally be a hacker, so you better make sure. #infosec 🙄