Max Leibman

I'm basing this prediction off of several factors, including persistent rumors about what colors have been tested, the image Apple used in their press invitation, and also what colors I had in my closet.

Four overlapping men’s dress shirts, collars visible, in yellow, green, blue, and gray, against a brown hardwood floor.

My color prediction for the new MacBooks being released tomorrow. #Apple

Typo is my least favorite of the Marx Brothers.

"Sorry. Can't. I'm busy training AI."

[shocks Sam Altman with cattle prod]

This Sunday, Microsoft will save your daylight to OneDrive by default.

Some may ask, "Wi-Fi?"

But I ask, "Wi-Not?"

Due to a typo, I accidentally forwarded your manuscript to your Punisher, and he killed it.

I can't think of anything funny to say this morning.

Post amongst yourselves.

My son's dentist is running more than half-hour behind, and I'm very frustrated.

If I wanted to sit in an uncomfortable chair and get absolutely nothing done while I scroll social media on my phone, I would have gone to the office.

Artisanal troublemaker.

You vision insurance plan will cover one set of frames* and one pair of prescription lenses**†‡.

Apple introduces iPhone 17e Apple today announced the new iPhone 17e, a powerful and affordable addition to the iPhone 17 lineup.

Apple announces iPhone Seven Teeny.
www.apple.com/newsroom/2026/0...

Nextdoor is a cesspool.

Major Eaton: We have Top Ramen working on it now.

Indiana Jones: Who?

Major Eaton: Top. Ramen.

You don't want to know what the FIFA War Prize winner is doing.

Always the Gatorade, never the gator.

Jack off all trades.

Wait. Let me start over.



#WaitLetMeStartOver

Putting my iPhone into Low Status Mode.

If the mode where a phone blocks notifications is called "Do Not Disturb," we should call the mode that allows notification "Disturb."

Oh, and on a related note: literally nobody's computer use policy forbids putting olive oil on your laptop.

Also, life hack: when some computer manufacturer or IT chode has attached a sticker they intended to be permanent, and peeling it off it leaves behind seemingly impossible-to-remove residue, a little olive oil will work wonders. 😉

Though, to be honest, I would probably have done it, anyhow. (And I did reattach it, to the bottom of the laptop. WHERE IT GOES.)

Yes, this is technically not allowed. But I've been in many corporations, in and out of IT. I've reported directly to three different CIOs. I've read more IT policies than you've had hot dinners. And I can tell you, it's shockingly common to neglect to forbid removing the asset control bar code.

If you issue me a new company laptop and you put a giant, ugly, not-even-properly-aligned corporate asset control label on its top, understand that the first thing I do when I get it will be to exercise my immense privilege and remove that sucker.

I put the ability in liability.

In Soviet Russia, Yakov Smirnoff joke makes YOU.

Ok, but just hear me out: different shit, same day.

Them: Plan your work, and then work your plan.

Me, later, trying to sound smart: Plan your day, and then day your plan.

I sail like a swearer.

"You can't put the genie back in the bottle."

[Peter Venkman kicks open the door]